Can't believe I skipped writing in here last night, but I wasn't home. I spent the night at Greg's house. I didn't feel like connecting up to the internet while I was there. He doesn't have a wireless router so I'd have to plug into an ethernet. But that's okay. I can say that over the last two days I have struggled with depression.
Cassie and her friend Katie spent Friday night here. Saturday morning Cassie was supposed to get up but she wouldn't. She just argued with me and we yelled at each other for about 20 minutes. Finally Susan decided that Cassie could miss this Saturday. I was pretty upset. I felt like I had no authority over her anymore. She told me to leave her alone and I was so upset and hurt I told her to leave me alone too. I went back to my room and went to sleep. By the time I got up and went out to the kitchen she came to me, giving me a hug and telling me she was sorry and that she loved me. I still wasn't feeling so great. Then Greg called and wanted to know if we wanted to come over and spend the night. I wasn't sure I was going to spend the night, but I did plan for it. It was nice. I finally got to meet Skippy his doggie. He's so cute and the girls LOVED playing with him. Together all three of them also gave him a bath outside. LOL! That was funny. Then we went to watch "Get Smart" the movie and the TV in the living room took a dump. So Greg set up the DVD player in the extra room where I slept. Got it hooked up to the TV. Then the girls didn't want to watch it so they went out to the living room - after moving the futons out there and I guess they spent time reading. I however took my night meds and went to sleep after I finished watching the movie. I just replayed it to help me sleep.
I was actually having some anxiety because we were there. It probably wasn't the smartest thing. But in the morning the girls got something to eat and played more with Skippy. I told Jason where we were and he flipped out. He got over it, but I was upset for awhile. Eventually I told the girls we had to leave so they had to put the futons away. I then took Katie Kelly to her Grandma's and my timing was perfect. Her father was there to pick up her and her sister. So we said good-bye and then I headed off to take Cassie back to Jason and Susan. They were going to go pick up Katie Belle and take the girls to Sea World. By the time I got over there he was fine. Reassured me he wasn't upset. I teased him a little about his jealousy streak. After that I just came home. I haven't done much of anything except watch Food Network most of the day. Now I'm watching "River Monsters" and then I'm going to watch the new "Iron Chef America."
I just feel down still. I started taking the extra paxil, but I haven't felt much of a difference. But maybe this isn't PMS. Maybe this is a cycle starting. But I don't want to think that's the case.
I also haven't heard from my Aussie. I usually don't over the weekend, but I kinda hoped I would. I might still hear from him. I just could really use a email from him to brighten my day a little.
I think Karissa missed me. When I first got home all she did was meow at me. Then she laid down beside me in front of the window. She's been there most of the day. In fact, I was laying down most of the day once I got home. I would have napped, but I don't think I completely went to sleep at any point. Hope I sleep tonight. I think I will. I'm tired, but then again, I'm always tired lately. The good news is that I don't have to wake up early. My only class tomorrow is at 11:00am. I thought about not going at all, but I need to go.
I just wish I didn't feel so depressed!! It sucks!! But for now, I think I'm going to close this up and chill out.
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