Love is Love No Matter the Distance!

I mood has only dipped once since it elevated last month. It was a residule to a couple years ago and my big breakdown then. However, after three days it left me and I am back to my happy self again! It makes things all the better because my Aussie has stayed at my side. Though I didn't talk too much to him during the darkness of my depression he was worried about me. That says so much to me. To have someone you care about care about you in return is HUGE!

The fact that my Aussie is still here beside me has helped my mood stay high. For Valentine's Day (his time. LOL!) I decided to write out how I felt. I started with my first impression of him and how things had progressed from there. I mean, it all started by me seeing his picture and liking his smile. A smile can say a thousand words sometimes. At first, I thought how he'd make a good friend and contacted him. He excepted my friendship and from there our relationship just bloomed. I truly love him. He brought parts of me back to life I thought were dead. He awakened my heart. I may never see him in my whole life, but I hope for a day I can. He has inspired me to do better for myself. I am trying to eat better and get sun at the park so I'm not so pale. I just think about photos being taken that I can send to him.

The great thing too is that he doesn't care if I'm fat or thin. He loves me for me. I have a part of his heart that no one else has. He told me so for Valentine's. And he has my heart. Even though he lives half a world away, he's never far from my thoughts or heart. He inspires me. he comforts me . . . he has been there for me . . .

Love is the best thing one can have in the world. Love from your children, love from your friends and love for a certain person that owns your heart . . .

I feel like I'm on cloud nine!

I feel so good right now! It's great after having MONTHS of downtime. It sucks being depressed. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. Especially when it just ruins every part of your life. You can't enjoy things. You don't want to see anyone. Nothing matters. And if you're creative - the creativity goes . . . That's where I've been for the last six months give or take. I have been in a deep dark pit and it felt as if I were going to be trapped there for eternity. HOWEVER that wasn't to be!!

Christmas really wasn't good. Christmas day was nice. I fixed a ham and the trimmings. We all got gifts. It was nice just hanging out. But I was so stressed out too. On the third day at my friend's house where we were house and cat sitting for the holidays, my son downloaded a virus into their computer that didn't have anti-virus on it . . . I didn't tell my friends right away because I didn't want to ruin their trip. But I stressed so hard that for New Years I just had this empending sense of doom. It did come to pass that I told them two days before they got back. It came close to ending our friendship, but in the end they recognized that it wasn't done on purpose and that they could possibly fix it (which they have managed to do). However, the good part about being over there was being around cats all day long! It was fantastic! So even though the bad out-weighed the good, there were a couple of good things.

The year has been a little rocky so far because of that mishap, but all in all everything and everyone is back to normal. The best thing so far though is that the three books I thought I lost when my side of the computer crashed I was able to get back! All but two chapters. Lucky for me I had sent it to a couple of friends and had them saved in the SENT box!! So I am more than happy about that. Plus, my sister has MOVED OUT!! She left yesterday and already the house feels so much lighter and happier! She not there hovering ready to jump on you for any little mistake. She was a BITCH! But she left with her boyfriend to go do what they're going to go do and she said she'll come back every so often, but I'm going to try to do enough around here that my mother will be happy. She's not at the moment because my room and Jordan's room is a mess, but I plan to correct that this week. I just can't express how much better I feel now! And in a surprising move she gave me her car. I have to register it in my name, but that's not a problem. It's just nice to know I have a car!!! I am not trapped by having to rely on other people!! If I need to get to an appointment, I CAN! If I need to go to the store, I CAN!!

Things are just so much better. I even felt good enough to make dinner for us tonight. Not that I don't anyway, but I'm making Chicken Casserole and it's yummy and BIG. Enough for me, my kids, my mother and our friend Tom whose staying here at the moment.

I am just thrilled and I feel like things are going to be great! I hope this isn't just a hypomanic episode and I drop back into a depressed, but I don't think so. I feel like I'm alive again!! And that's a miracle after 6 months of darkness. Okay, guess that's about all I wanted to ramble about! LOL! I am happy, happy, happy!!!