Spent Way Too Much Money . . .



Wow I have spent so much money in three days! A lot of it is stuff I wanted, but also stuff I needed. Some of the stuff I wanted were DVDs from the Blockbuster that is closing near me. I spent just over $60 and got about 10 DVDs. Got some I haven't seen yet and then some that I just love. I also went to Catherine's and bought 2 swim suits and a set of Pajamas. The swim suits were originally over a hundred dollars a piece!! Thank god everything was 40% off! So my total ended up being about $160 I think. I also went to Walmart where I got "The Glades" Season 1 and "Commando" which I found in the $5 bin. That bin is awesome! I also bought two harlequins because they were Sheik related AND I got milk for me. That was just last night.

Then we went today. I picked up "Hawaii Five-0" Season 1 which they didn't have at Best Buy. Literally they didn't have ANYTHING I was looking for! I was so irritated!! But before that I got a new bed!! It's awesome with a pillow top! I can't wait to sleep on it though I won't be able to until tomorrow night.

Anyway, back to Walmart. Not only did I get that series, I can't remember what else I got! LOL! I can't think at the moment. But I don't think I bought too much. But when I got home my mom reminded me that I needed to get new towels for the gym. I also needed better shampoo and conditioner so on our way to house/dog/cat/guinea pig sit we stopped at Walmart again!! This time we went upstairs where electronics, and I ended up with one more DVD - "Australia" for $10. Love that movie! But on the way to towels I saw pillows on sale!!! So I grabbed two of them. They were about $4 apiece. Can't beat that for BIG pillows. I figured I needed them to go with the new bed. My old pillows are flat and they suck. Then we got to the towels and Cassie found me a BIG purple towel for my body - It doesn't go all the way around, but it's good for now. Then she found me a turquoise towel for my hair. I also ended up getting Cassie the next book in the series she's reading. I also got a leopard print fleece blanket. That wasn't it though. I also got Karissa some treats, conditioner and shampoo for me and then some for Cassie. We also got hair color and I got Cassie a St. Patty's Day shirt.

Now I remember what I bought earlier in the day - a reem of printer paper, mechanical pencils for cassie AND lead for them. I got me some colored markers. My other set got screwed up. Then I got my pens that I like. I even got Cassie a flannel shirt from the clearance rack AND a beenie hat.

Needless to say I have gone to Walmart a lot for two days and spent A LOT of money!! But I did get some stuff I needed.

It was pretty cool though. When we got to Jason and Susan's Cassie trimmed my hair and colored it for me. A nice medium auburn. Then Cassie colored her own hair - BLONDE! Very blond!! It looks good. Jordan just watched TV. Now that's what I'm doing. I'm very tired though. I watched some TV myself. I watched about half of "Star Trek" the latest movie. Then I watched "Restaurant: Impossible." Now it's "Iron Chef America." But what's sad is that I'm so tired and I can't sleep. Jordan is in the same boat, but for him, the new couches Jason and Susan have isn't comfortable to him. It sucks. He's going to be tired tomorrow and so am I. I did take my meds tonight. I think I forgot them this morning. I have forgotten the morning meds more than usual lately. I need to get back on track big time.

Anyway, I guess that's is. I need to try to sleep. We'll see what happens.

Waiting On Money!

Well, I've decided that I'm going to stop numbering the days, but I still need to account for my weight and eating. I kind of blew it today all the way around. I had a piece or raisin toast with peanut butter instead of a shake. Then for lunch I ate a Big Mac and a caramel iced coffee. Then I finally did have a shake, but then I had a piece and a half of pepperoni pizza. I figure I was bad today, but I'm going back on track first thing in the morning. I have to be strict this week. I want to get back to losing weight and I'm not sure I have been. And I need to lose those last 17 pounds.

My mom found a scale that could weigh me, but it costs $50. I think I might get it. I wouldn't worry constantly if I had something in front of me to measure my progress or lack there of! So that's something on my list to get.

Anyway, I got my SSI! I have met with the woman that needed my information. This month I get the first installment of my retro check. The next one will be in August and the rest will be given to me next February. I wasn't happy at first, but thinking about it, I like it a lot. It spreads out my money so I will have money for different parts over this year!! It won't be gone all at once! So that's a good thing.

But I'm going to have quite a bit of money in a few days. My retro check is going to be around $2500. Then I'll be getting this month's $571 and then around the first I'll get another $571 for next month. I think there's also more money I'm getting, but I'm happy with this. And it's going to allow me to do things I need and want to do. First I get the car fixed! That is my top priority. Then I was going to see about getting a bed, but Jason and wonder that he is found me a bed for $60. Can't get better than that. Plus the bed is only 10 months old! Awesome!! So that's something I don't have to worry about getting. I also want to get a new laptop. Something with TONS of storage for photos and stuff. I also need two new bathing suits. The one I have is all stretched out and falling apart really. So that will be nice! I also want to get some DVDs, take Jason and Susan out to dinner (another day I will be very bad, but will be planned) and then I'm giving them $300 for Daniel to hopefully come down here from Oregon. He apparently wants to, but Jason's a little worried that he may just take the money and use it for other things. But Daniel's a good kid. He wants to come down.

Anyway, I think I'll have enough for everything I want this time around. I'll think about what I want for my birthday - and I'll have to set aside money for Christmas this year! I want it to be a nice Christmas. But the thing that irritated me the most today was my mother. I haven't even had the surgery yet and she's already saying how she wants us out of the house. Ugh! I mean I need to have the surgery, then I need to recover! That might take months! It depends, I guess. Not that part of me doesn't want to be out on my own. I need to find out if there is a way to speed up housing too. I would like a place in El Cajon.

All I've been able to think about is the money coming. I'll have to set up a checking account and get direct deposit. It's a lot safer than getting checks in the mail. That's something good. It was never a thing to do with the welfare since I had the card. I'm just happen to be getting a little more money every month too. From what I understand I'll still get more income for Cassie and I'll still get food stamps and Medi-Cal. I feel like I'm in a better place financially. Guess we'll see what the future brings.

Well, I'm finally tired. Tomorrow it's back to the gym and water aerobics and getting my ass back on track. No cheating! I deserve to be thin and happy! I need to remember that.

Guess that's it. Time for bed. My goal is to get back into writing my blog again. I think it helps clear my head. Night!

Day 60 - Think This Will Be Short . . . Not?

I got up and let Cassie stay home again. She was really upset last night. I went back to sleep for a little bit, but I did get up and get ready for the gym. Water Aerobics wasn't so fun today, but I was having an anxiety attack through most of it. I did put on lotion after the shower and some of my cream, but I still got itchy. I think I'm just going to have to deal with it. 

When I got home I ended up taking a nap. Of course, Jason and Cassie were still at odds or rather Cassie was at odds with everyone. I needed that nap badly. Then I woke up. Talked to Sandra at SSI briefly. I have an appointment for next Friday and I need proof of income for the last year and a half or so. I'll have to call welfare either tomorrow or Monday. The sooner I get what I need, the better. 

I then also took my mom to get her nails done. I came back home and Cassie was talking about going to her father's. I told her she wasn't going until after the school year was over. She was angry at me for it, but oh well. Eventually, things worked out with Jason and she went over there and I think things are back to normal. I just feel that Cassie is still grieving and now she's worried about losing Grandpa Roger too. Maybe she'll go up for the summer.

Anyway, I picked up my mom from getting her nails done, though I stopped for a diet Dr. Pepper at McDonald's first. Once we got home, I was on the computer. I played on Cafemom. I posted in my groups - not all of them! But I did some posting in "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" I got a new member. Members seem to like the recipes! That's cool. I just wish I could get other people to participate. I closed the Q & A forum and will just ask questions in the general forum and see if I can't get more people to participate. It might work . . . Then I posted some love songs onto my "Holiday Dreaming" though I should do more there. Maybe tomorrow I'll focus on it. Once Valentine's Day is over, It's on to St. Patty's day. More forums! Then in the new group I joined I read the spoilers for "The River." It was suggested I look for it on Hulu.com and sure enough it was there!! So I watched it. It was pretty good. I like the characters and the story was interesting. I'm going to try to catch it every week on Hulu if nothing else.

Well, dinner was good. I actually got full, but then I got a call from Jason saying the blockbuster near me was going out of business and to check it out. I decided I would so I told my mom I was going to go out to get dressing - which the store ended up not having at the moment - but I thought there were a lot of movies that were realaly cheap, but they weren't as cheap as I hoped. They were $10 apiece so I didn't get a couple I wanted. I did get "Transformers- Dark of the Moon." At least I have all three movies now. I was bad though. I had a huge rice crispy treat - 300 calories! But that's the last thing I'm going to weat today except for maybe some cuties or something. But I think I'm doing okay. Especially if I get back on track with the water aerobics.

Guess that's it for now. I need to use some cream on my rashes and change into my PJs. Time for bed!

 

Day 59 - Still Depressed But Starting To Get Back On Track

I am still very depressed about losing Linda. She was always so supportive. I would have liked her to be around for my surgery and to help me celebrate my successes. But oh well. There's nothing that can be done about it. I just have to realize that she'll be there in spirit. I did cry a little bit last night and talked with her. Though I doubt she's listening to me. She needs to be with Roger and John. But I miss her too.

Anyway, I slept until 12:30pm. I was worried I had missed the gardener because my mom had a doctor's appointment. I didn't which was nice. In fact, I was able to pick up Jason from the trolley so that he could come over and hang out for a bit. They let him go early from work so he said. I have this feeling he just took the time off, but I could be wrong. It's just this sense I have. But you know, it's not my problem. He's the one that missed out on the money.

When my mom got back and the gardener was there doing a good job, she decided that she wanted to go out for something to eat. We went to Denny's which was awesome. I got a build your own slam again. This time I got two eggs scrambled with onions, the chicken sausage patty, wheat pancakes and oatmeal. OMG! I was expecting a little bowl of oatmeal. Turned out the bowl was HUGE!! Needless to say, I didn't eat everything. I left half the oatmeal at least and I didn't finish the pancakes. So I took them home. I'm starting to get a little hungry again so I might be finishing those pancakes. Anyway, it was good.

When I got back I got on the computer for a bit. I got ready to go to the gym tonight. Then Cassie came home. Jason and Cassie were butting heads again and he sent her home, though I think she wanted to come home. I got a text from Jason saying he was going to send her home permanently. I ignored it and went to the gym with Susan and to water aerobics. The class was good, though I still went to the spa. I can't help it. I need to warm up. Then I took a shower and put lotion on. Susan helped me with my back and the back of my thighs. So far I'm not so itchy now. Maybe that's what I need to do.

But I'm going back tomorrow morning. I need to get back into the swing of things with the water aerobics. I need to lose weight. Only 17 more pounds to go before surgery. 

I also had to pick up my medication so Jordan and I went out. I also had to go to the store to pick up some brown sugar. I also grabbed tortillas for Jordan and caramel mousse tempations for me along with a life water for a dollar. I didn't get much, but I got my balance and I think Susan took more of my food money they she should have and isn't going to tell me about it. I'm not going to say anything, but next time I'm going to keep track of my balance so I know how much she uses. I mean I'm down to just over $100. That's just not right. THEN as if that wasn't bad enough Jason was upset about Cassie threatening to take everything away from her over her not apologiing to him. I understand, but he upset her big time and when she's upset there is no reasoning with her. But all she had to do was say "I'm sorry" without attitude!! Ugh!! What a pain in the ass. I was having a panic attack over it. Susan was crying. These guys don't understand what this crap does to us! UGH!!!

Anyway, I guess Jason finally settled down, but Cassie never did apologize to him. That sucked. I don't know what's going to happen now. All I know is I gave Cassie some ativan. I probably shouldn't do that, but she was so upset. She relaxed considerably and I'm hoping she got to sleep. Morning is going to suck. I have to get her up and get ready for school. She has to go tomorrow. It's been three days so that's enough. Time to go back to school. 

Okay, that's it for now. I need to get to sleep myself. I watched "Ghost Hunters" for the most part. Then I watched the new "Face/Off" which was really good. They had deadly animals and plants and had to incorporate them into something. Becky is a bitch though. I can't stand her. If she wins "Face/Off" I think I'll throw up. Now that's enough. Time for me to get to sleep - after the pancakes. I am exhausted and tomorrow is another day.

Day 58 - Just Haven't Wanted To Write

I'm tired and just depressed. In fact, I might keep this really short. Yesterday Linda, my kids' paternal grandma and someone I considered a good friend, died yesterday. We knew from the day before that. She had been on life support and it didn't look good. The kids have been particularly devistated. Jordan internalized it. Cassie was crying and depressed. I haven't cried yet, but it will come when I least expect it. I'm going to miss her. And now I worry about Grandpa Roger. He's not in the greatest of health either. And I know life is going to be hard without Linda.

Anyway, I let Cassie stay home these last two days from school. I've let her play with the computer for most of the day as something to distract her. I even let her go to her friend Jayelyn's today.

As for me, I'm depressed. I'm missing a good friend now. She was so happy about my progress with my weight loss and about my writing. At least the last thing she heard me ever say to her was that I loved her. It makes me a little happy. Not a lot, mind you. But at least it was about love. That there was no negativity between us. At least I hope not! I'm just not wanting to do much of anything. I just want to sleep all day. But tomorrow I have to get my ass back to the gym. I have to, though I don't want to.

Ah well. That's enough for now. I'm too tired to write more. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. At least I hope so.

Day 55 - Ending on a Low

The 2nd was a good day. I got my money and started my shopping. The first thing I got was my book "Vanish" by Tess Gerritsen. I wanted that book bad. Then I went to Walmart and did some regular shopping - toilet paper, nose spray, cat litter . . . I also got Cassie her book "Crescendo" which is the sequel to "Hush Hush." Cassie LOVED that book. I also found a Harlequin about a sheik, which are the type I collect. I also found "Independence Day" in the $5 bin and grabbed it. Then I went to get Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, but they didn't have it so I called Best Buy and they had it for under $15! Needless to say, I got it from there. After that I got Karissa's flea ointment. That was a pain in the ass. I guess they were repaving the turn I needed and I had to detour. It wasn't horrible, but it was irritating. Still, I was able to get her the flea ointment and that's what was important. She wasn't too happy when I put it on here though. LOL! But I managed. She just hated that stuff going on her neck. Then again, maybe I would have been too if someone was putting some liquid something or other down my neck.

Needless to say, I was pretty happy with what I was able to get done. I also have money left to get "Breaking Dawn Part 1" should I chose to buy it. I also finished reading "Beautiful Creatures" and started "Vanish." 

On the 3rd I had to cancel my plans with Mark because my mom had a doctor's appointment - eye doctor. I went to McDonald's and had oatmeal and a diet Dr. Pepper. I spent the rest of the time reading. My mom took over an hour, but I didn't mind except that the McDonald's was COLD inside! Go figure. Then after my mom called I picked her up and we went to Walmart. While I was there I picked up a Woman's World, some pills for restless legs, Russell Stovers Sugar Free Strawberry cream candies and another Harlequin called "A Secret Birthright." I waited for my mom at the McDonald's there and read a little bit of that book. Turned out Mark was there too. He texted me, but didn't come up. He assumed that my mother wouldn't really be happy with his appearance and he was right. After he upset me over a motel room she doesn't like him. But what was really weird for me was when I got home, I got all kinds of emotional and I was so tired. Jason had wanted to come over, but I told him what was going on and he said for me to rest. I did. I slept for a good 12 hours at least. And of course, I started. The crazy thing is, it's been less than three weeks, I think, and I'm not bleed heavy. It's like the last one I barely bled at all, though I had waited for it to get heavy. This time, I don't know. There's more blood, but it doesn't seem like it's going to be a heavy flow at any point. 

Then today was okay for the most part. I've been tired all day and I am exhausted now, but the day was going okay. I had a good lunch. Then I was going to have two shakes. I only ended up with one shake and then some cuties and two meat balls. I think that was en0ough. But anyway, I get a call from Jason and he said I had to come over right away. He then put Cassie on the phone and she was crying. She told me something was wrong with Grandma Linda. I found out that she was dehydrated, that her blood sugar was low and she was not doing well. By the time I got over there, she was on life support. Cassie was just crying and I held her. I think this is her time. I can't imagine her surviving this. What shocked me was that John wasn't there. He was still with his girlfriend in Reno. I would have been at the hospital. But I guess everyone has their own priorities. Then Cassie is so upset because she can't go out there to be with them during this time. I know this is going to be hard on Cassie. Like how Jordan was effected by Grandpa Robinson's death. Though I think Jordan was closer to my dad than Cassie is to Grandma Linda. Still, I know she is so upset. Jordan is concerned, but he's not devistated. He might have been more prepared for this happening. I just wish it wasn't happening. Linda is such a good person with a good heart. But I guess when your time is up, it's up. 

Anyway, we'll hear when something changes, I'm sure. Rena is going to come over tomorrow. Cassie is going to breakfast with Jason and Susan, but then she's coming back. Her and I are going to watch Puppy Bowl VIII together. I don't know how Karissa's going to feel about Rena being in here. We'll see what happens.

Well, I'm ready for bed. I am tired and ready to sleep. Hopefully I'll sleep some.

Day 52 - Slept All Day Literally!

I literally slept all day. I made the mistake of taking a muscle relaxant last night and it knocked my ass out! I didn't even go to the gym. I couldn't keep my eyes open. In fact, I slept until almost 4:30pm! I didn't bother to get dressed. I just grabbed my sweater, my wallet, my book "Beautiful Creatures," and my keys. After all, therapy was at 5:00pm. I did stop at McDonald's for a diet Dr. Pepper. I had to have something. I also took my multi vitamin and medication before I left as well.

Therapy went well. I filled in Dr. Tess about all the good things going on. He agreed that it should keep me positive. I need to make sure that I go to the gym tomorrow and that I don't forget my doctor's appointment at 3:00pm. But for the first time in a long time some really good things have happened. The only thing better would be finding out that I got Section 8! But I'm happy with what I have been given to me. The weight loss and the SSI. And maybe at the end of the year I'll find out that my book will be published. At least I hope so! I am hoping this is my year! So far so good.

Anyway, tonight I watched my "Ghost Hunters" and "Face/Off." I also was on Cafemom for a long time. I added posts to "Plus Sized Moms" because there is a game to post as many posts as you can. I've posted about 7 tonight I think. Plus I worked on my "Holiday Dreaming." I did a little bit on Facebook as myself and as Karissa. I uploaded a Pix of Karissa's treats. LOL! I have to admit that I also checked out Denise's Timeline. She put on a bunch of stuff. That's where I got the idea to put Cassie and Jordan's birthdays on the timeline. She went to her different places she's lived too. I would maybe do that for here, but there was really no other place I would want to put down. I don't exactly remember dates anyway when it comes to our moves. But I'll try to think of other things to put on the timeline. Maybe when I met friends or ex friends. We'll see what happens.

Guess that's it. It's after midnight and I need to get up early to get Cassie up for school. And tomorrow is just going to be another great day. I get my money tomorrow too! At least it's been coming on the 2nd for awhile now. So I'll get to go shopping tomorrow too! I just have to make a list.