Day 15 - Percocet Daze But Still Swollen

I spent most of the day sleeping. I was so tired and the pain from the absess gets worse. So I just took percocet every four hours give or take and slept. I slept on and off until around 5:00pm.

Tim came over and talked to me a little bit about the absess and what I could try to do with it. I don't feel like messing with it the way he messes with things, but on the other hand I don't want to have to have it drained either. I saw Jordan get his lanced or drained and he went into shock afterwards. And if he can't tolerate the pain, I don't think I'd fair that much better. Anyway, the idea is to see if the antibiotics won't start working in another day or so. If not, then I guess I have to go back to the ER.

Well, after Tim left, I fixed myself a little plate of turkey with a tiny scoop of stuffing. I didn't bother with mashed potatoes or anything. I just heated what I had and ate it. When that was done I went and got the computer from Jordan and played on the computer for awhile. Though I didn't do that much. I watched two episodes of "Law and Order" and remembered what I didn't like about the show - an unsatifying ending. But I was waiting for the new "The Closer" episode and the new "Rizzoli and Isles" which was awesome! Gabriel came back and he and Jane got together! Unfortunately, Maura's mom was hit by a car pushing Maura out of the way. Then her birthfather showed up. At the end, he saved Maura only to have a shootout with Boston PD. Maura was beyond upset. I can't wait until next summer to see what happens.

Anyway, I have taken my night meds and some ativan as well. I'll be back asleep soon. At least I hope so. I really want more turkey though. And I didn't see any in the fridge. My mom must have it in her fridge. Not that I need more to eat. I also had three or four oranges and a bowl of yams and a glass of cider. Not to mention two rolls with butter. This has to be the last day I cheat. Tomorrow I have to get back on the wagon so I can lose the pounds. I should try to go to the gym in the morning. I have to do the water aerobics. I need to get back on track. 

But first sleep.

 

Day 8 - Finally Got Going

I did it! I finally did it. I woke up and got ready, took my protein drink and vitamins and went to the gym. I asked about their scale and they don't have one that can weigh me so I'm pretty disappointed about that. But Jason and Susan said they'd take me back to the doctor to get weighed. Maybe after the holidays. I want a chance to have made a difference first. Though I think I have lost a little. Not sure how much, but I'm back on the straight and narrow.

The water aerobics was great! I enjoyed it a lot. What sucked though, was I would generally have did some lap swimming, then hit the spa and then take a shower, but I was kind of cold so after class I went and got into the spa. I stayed as long as I could, but someone was in the shower. I had to wait for about 10-15 minutes. It sucked, but I didn't complain or anything. I mean, come on. If someone has to use the handicapped shower then they have to use it, right? I know I need to use it. In facr, I took most of my shower sitting down on the bench. I was pretty drained. But what aggravates me is the water pressure in the handicapped shower is like trickling soft. And I had to wash my hair and body in that. Ugh! Makes me take half an hour. But I did it.

When I got home though, I was very tired. I grabbed some decaf coffee and I hoped online which was great. I had written my Aussie last night when I couldn't sleep and he wrote me back today! It was great to hear from him, even if it was a bit short, but he was at working, working hard. I'll probably write him again tomorrow. I'm too tired to really write him today. But I have missed him. He has always been a supportive and very sensual, sexy friend too! ;-) But every so often I disappear from him. He always welcomes me back with open arms. He understands how my life can get. He was happy things are going so well with me.

After that I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore so I ended up laying down and I fell asleep. I'm not sure how long I slept, but I woke up around 4:30pm. I waited a little while then went out to see about getting something to eat. Jordan and I ended up eating frozen dinners. But this time I had a Lean Cuisine with a bunch of broccoli. Going back to my room I finished watching "Lethal Weapon." Started watching "Space Cowboys" and now I'm watching "The Closer." Then I'll be watching "Rizzoli & Isles" if I can stay awake that long. I am so tired.

Nicole also called me. We talked for awhile. We commisserated on kids, men and life in general and celebrated the good stuff too. We talked about how you really have to make up your mind to do something to really make it happen. It was a good talk, but I was so tired. I'm still very tired. Hopefully I'll sleep tonight.

Guess that's it. I'm going to drink some water, take my meds, watch my TV and then chill out. I was even too tired to play on cafemom. It's definitely time to rest and then sleep. Tomorrow it's off to the races again!

Day 1

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Or at least I hope it is. It's the start of my new eating regimen. I don't want to call it a diet. That has bad connotations for me. But a lifestyle change might be a better way of putting it. I got up, took Cassie to school. I came back and rested for a little. Then I got up in time to have my first protein shake. It wasn't the best, but it was okay. I then took off to my doctor's appointment. It took about twenty minutes to get back and be seen. Maybe thirty minutes. My appointment took all of five minutes. LOL! All my lab work was fine, except for my white blood cell count was a little high. But not by much. He said he might want to do labs again in a month or two. 

After that appointment I went home. I chilled out for awhile then for lunch I had another protein shake. I laid down for a little while and then left to go pick up Cassie from school. It was raining so hard and then just cleared up for a little bit. Just in time for Cassie to leave school and walk to the car. Awesome, right? It was cold too. I had to put on the heater.

Once we got home, she was hungry and went to eat. First she grabbed the dip I had with some chips. Then that didn't taste good to her so she decided to just make nachos. It was so bad because she brought them into the room and I so wanted some. I guess I have some will power. I was able to resist it. Then she wanted to watch a movie so we decided on "Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides" but we only got through an hour and a half before Jason and Susan came to pick her up. I also let Cassie spend the night there tonight. There was some bad news. Katie Kelly and Lauren's father Don died today. Cassie was really upset too. Tomorrow Susan is picking Cassie up from school so that she can go spend time with Katie Kelly and Lauren. I didn't realize that Don was even sick! It was a shock to me when Jason told me. 

Anyway, dinner was good. Had a piece of ham, a whole lot of cooked spinach and a little mashed potatoes. A couple of hours later I had a mousse tempation. I look my time eating it and enjoyed it a lot. Then tonight I had six Wheat Thins. That's it for me tonight. No more food. I almost had a bag of popcorn. Maybe tomorrow. But I think today has been a good day. Tomorrow I'm going to be going to the gym in the morning. Part of me doesn't want to go, but I need to go. I will start losing weight faster with exercise. 

Well, I took my meds and I have been tired all day, but I don't feel as tired now. Go figure. I did get to watch a new "Closer." Brenda's father has thyroid cancer. And of course they caught a murderer while walking a fine line with the FBI. Then I watched "Rizzoli & Isles" where they went to Jane's High School Reunion. Then one of her friends was wanting to talk to her and before he could call her or her him, he was found dead on the football field. Then another classmate is killed and another died. All because of a replacement heart valve. It was a good episode.

So that was day one. No exercise, but I did stick to eating healthy. On to tomorrow. 

      

I Crashed HARD!

Last night I was still having trouble sleeping though I was exhausted so I took three ativan. I read for a little while, which for once it didn't keep me awake. I relaxed enough to drop to sleep. Of course, I slept and slept and slept. My mom woke me up around 1:00pm, but I also talked to Jason and Susan and asked them to pick Cassie up from school. In fact, I just let her stay there tonight. But I went back to sleep until around 4:30pm. Even then, I could have gone back to sleep. I might still be able to go back to sleep. I'm still tired. But we'll see. I mean, being tired is no garauntee as I well know.

Anyway, I had dinner when it was ready. It was good. It was fried onion chicken. Delicious. And we had it with mac n cheese and broccoli. I wanted the computer after that, but Jordan convinced me to let him keep it another hour. No big deal. I watched some TV. I watched "First 48." Then when I got the computer, I started playing on Cafemom. I made sure I posted stuff to "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" then "Christmas Dreaming." I also posted in other groups. But I feel a bit foggy and slow today where yesterday I was scattered, but really trying to post like crazy. And I just feel a little off today. I'm not really up or down. Maybe it's more like a numb feeling.

But anyway, one of the things I was looking forward to tonight was the new episodes of "The Closer" and especially "Rizzoli & Isles." "The Closer" was great! Officer Rader found the leak in the department!! In "Rizzoli & Isles" we find out that Jane's mom has a crush on Bill O'Reiley. And that Corsak was willing to go to jail to protect his CI. Turned out Jane was able to find her and that the person that had killed their witness was the District Attorney! It was an interesting episode. I might do some reading tonight. I have about 100 pages left of "The Mephisto Club." Not that I'll read it all tonight. Of course, when I'm done with it, I don't know what I'll read. I have a couple of Christmas stories. Maybe I'll read one or two of them. We'll see! If I do read them, then I can post their reviews on my "Christmas Dreaming" group.

Well, that's it. Time to chill out. As for tomorrow, my mom said something about wanting to go to the doctor. If she makes an appointment I'll take her. Maybe I'll work on one of my Fan Fictions or Christmas short story. We'll see.

I Can't Escape Being TIRED!

I've been tired all freaken day! I hate it! I just haven't been sleeping well at all. My nose has been giving me nothing but trouble which makes it worse. I want to wake up early - which I will be doing tomorrow morning. But I don't want to feel like I'm dragging.

Anyway, I slept until around 1:00pm. I knew I needed to get up so I did. I got online and checked my Cafemom groups, but nothing was really done today. Guess everyone's busy on Mondays or this Monday. I was so into what I was doing though that I almost forgot what time it was. My mom had to remind me to get Cassie because it was almost 2:00pm. But I was able to get my regular spot, which is cool. I guess people don't like to park out in the sun if they can avoid it where I will if I have to. I took my book "Cowboys and Indians" and read until she got out of school and got to the car. After that, Cassie and I went to Albertson's to get something to drink. I got water and Cassie got a Squirt. Her stomach was upset more of today though and I think Sprite would have been better, but I guess it worked.

When we got home, I helped Cassie with an essay she wrote. It had to be typed up and I typed it up for her. I suppose I should have let her do it, but I figured she did the hard part - writing it. There was something else she had for homework, but she didn't have her colored pencils so she had to do it at Jason and Susan's. Susan picked her up and took her. This schedule really is cool and even Jason likes it. Of course he'd still like her to live over there, but I think this is cool! We all get to spend time with her this way.

Anyway, my mom made dinner - hot dogs and baked beans. It was good. Then I did some searching/stalking on Denise. LOL! I found a couple more places she's gone. I just think it's funny because it's not like I'm going to contact her. But I get to keep track of her. I guess part of me still cares about her. But oh well. Things are the way they are. Maybe things will change if and when I get published. I'll make it a point to let her know about it. Well, maybe . . . I'm not a cruel person by nature so maybe not. Of course, I want to be published and I want what I get published to be very good! I just have to stay strong and not stop doing what I need to do. That means tomorrow no matter how I feel I need to get my ass moving on editing my book! If I don't finish it then there will be no going forward. I have to have a product to be able to sell. But the big pay off would just see my book in print! God that would be so awesome! Not that it wouldn't be nice to be able to make a living at it.

Well, Jordan and I ended up going to Albertson's to get drinks. I got an Arizona Green Tea this time and Jordan got a Sobe Raspberry Lemonade. Of course, we also got brownie bites and 2 boxes of vanilla Zingers. It was 2 for $4, which is a good deal. We ate the Brownie Bites together, but I gave Jordan one of the boxes. Probably shouldn't have, but did anyway. He just better keep that room of his clean! I don't want to see any wrappers on his floor or under his bed. Personally, I'm too full to eat any of mine tonight - for now anyway.

Cassie came home and she was nice and showered. She wants me to get her up tomorrow at 6:30am so she can do her make-up. :-) She also got skinny jeans from Hot Topic and she wants to start working there when she turns 14 years old. We'll see if they're hiring since they do hire people that young. And she LOVES Hot Topic. She also got a pin that says "I'm not Antisocial! I just hate you!" LOL! Funny little thing, she is!

Anyway, that's really been my day. Now I'm going to take my meds, finish watching the summer finale of "The Closer" and of "Rizzoli & Isles." Tomorrow I have got to force myself to edit. It has to get done! So I guess that's it. 

Quite an Up and Down Day

Well, today was Labor Day. I actually had a hard time waking up but Cassie came over and got the money for a backpack. I slept a little longer but when I finally got up it was cool. We were invited over to Jason and Susan's for a steak and shrimp dinner for Susie's bday. Jordan took a shower. I should have, but didn't. Instead I took like an hour to create the new group on Cafemom. It's called The Writer's Workshop. It was really fun to make. I made the forums and have 9 of them. I have weekly word prompts and monthly story prompts. I have other forums for poetry, fan fiction, chapters for those writing books and a place to vent about writer's block or any frustration about writing. I have to say I'm rather proud of myself.

Anyway, before I could post my prompts and stuff Jordan and I left for Jason and Susan's. My mom gave me money to buy Susan a cake - we ended up with cupcakes, but these cupcakes from Vons ROCK! They are so good!! We also stopped at McDonald's and got sodas. And I remembered Susan's bday card and Cassie's school supplies. She was happy that I got her mechanical pencils. She got an awesome backpack. It's rainbow colored in a checker print. I felt so bad though because she started crying. It just broke my heart. She cried and cried in her room. Jason talked with her. Susan talked with her and she wanted to talk to me. I stayed with her for 20-30 minutes and let her cry it out. I let her cry until she was calm. She took a bath after that and ate a little dinner, but emotionally she was wrung through the wringer and so was I. I wanted to cry with her and take her pain away. If I could just make everything go back to the way they were . . . I don't know. I think she'll be okay. It's just going to take time. And she is definitely going to give my mother hell. I don't think that's going to help, but who knows. I'm picking her up from school tomorrow and then Susan is going to pick her up around 4pm. She'll take her to get her nails done and then she'll go over for dinner. Then come home around 8-8:30pm. This is so killing me though. Cassie talked about wanting to go to sleep and not wake up. That she wanted to die before coming back here. I have felt that way many times. Just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up. I feel so helpless. I can't get her help because she won't take it. I mean, you have to be open for the help to make it work and she's just not willing. I wish she was. I just want to help her. I guess all I can do is try to make things go easier for her and just keep an eye on her so if she ends up needing real help I can get it for her.

Anyway, dinner was great. The steak was so tender and Susan made regular fried shrimp and she made coconut shrimp too! It was wonderful! Jason kind of passed out cupcakes and rushed us out the door. Not sure if it was because he wanted Susan to himself OR he just wanted us out. I suppose that's better than being an asshole about it like he was on my birthday. But I didn't like the feeling. However, I'm willing to deal with it. I just hope things get easier. He got mad several times, but he was quick to tell me he didn't blame me. But I still think part of him does. I don't think things are going to be the same for any of us.

On the way home I stopped at McDonald's again and got more soda for Jordan and I. That's about all I can afford. I think. Though I will want to get one on Wednesday on my way to therapy. I have to remember I have therapy and make sure I go. I don't know what happened last time. But I'll tell you, it's been a sucky month. I am way overdue for a session.

Jordan went to sleep when we got home. It was later than usual for him. I got online and invited a couple of people to the writing group and they joined!! I also put up the word prompts, the story prompts and a poem. I'll probably add more, of course. I'd like to have something in every category. I'll work on that tomorrow, I think.

Anyway, I watched the new "The Closer" and then "Rizzoli & Isles." In "The Closer" Brenda Lee's mess with the law suit her lawyer saves her from signing it away and being seriouosly sued. Then a young pop star's dad is found in the hills dead and Brenda's team figures out it was murder and not an accident. On "Rizzoli & Isles" Jane's brother from jail is out and is playing chess with Maura. Jane also is trying to duck out of a sensitivity class and Maura's birth father comes back. I actually like him though he runs a mob. He doesn't kill women and children or people that don't deserve it. In fact, at the end, it was cool. This dock worker who was a real stand-up guy, he made sure his family got money. So as he said, he's one of the good guys in his world. I'm still watching "The Glades." This guy tries to escape custody with his brother's help. In the process they screw up and get trapped in the hospital taking hostages. Callie ends up as one of the hostages so that she can help save a man's life. So far, the brothers used Callie as a decoy along with a couple other hostages that were forced to pretend to act like them. Now Jim is on a manhunt for them - which is what he wanted to begin with. So he's gone off to find the money the brothers are after and the brothers, I'm sure. This is a finale so who knows what's going to happen.

Well, I think after "The Glades" is over I'm going to take my meds and try to sleep. At least I hope so. Oh, and "The Glades" had an awesome ending! I am SOOOOO glad it wasn't a cliffhanger. I HATE cliffhangers! Jim and Callie so belong together! :-)

Stories and Poetry

Today was a bit better. I have been having anxiety and I think I still am having depression, but I don't feel too terrible. I was able to write some poetry. All three were dark. I wrote more on my "Jason Bourne" story. I'm on page 6 and I have a ways to go. It's been good to write everyday and really enjoy it for the most part. I pushed too much today. I stopped at a place I should be able to pick up easily enough tomorrow. It's at one of the love making scenes. :-D

Anyway, I spent most of the day writing. Between the "Jason Bourne" story and the poetry it kept me busy. I also posted the poems on Cafemom on "I'm not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" "The Poetry Garden," AND "FANtastic Writers."

My mom was nice and got us McDonald's for dinner. I had two McChicken sandwiches and a soda. Oh and Jordan and I shared a large fries. I drank my soda pretty fast, but it was a HOT day today. It was so hot that my mom actually turned on the air conditioning. When my mom breaks down and put on the A/C then you KNOW it's hot.

I have also been watching TV. There was some great episodes on tonight. "Eureka" was awesome. The relationship auditor came back to listen to the appeal. He got zapped by some device that had Jack's memories in it and started acting out past events Jack had done. Zane, Fargo and his new girlfriend (can't remember her name) are going to Titan. Grace and Alison were able to wipe the auditor's short term memory, but as a happy side effect, he said that Jack and Alison were perfect together. I LOVED this episode!

"The Closer" was good too. It dealt with a cartel, the money man for the cartel, an attempt on the life of a DA and and of course, Brenda Lee's lawyer comes and interviews her team. No one has found the leak, but who knows. Next week's episode should be interesting.

"Rizzoli and Isles" was also great. The best thing about the episode is that we got to see the love of Maura's life. The murder mystery ended up involving heroin and a kidnapping. It all worked out.

Now I'm going to run to the store for a snack before taking my meds and go to sleep. Tomorrow should be a better day, I hope. What I do hate is my anxiety level though. It's still high and that sucks. There might be more poetry to come. We'll see.

Emotional Swinging

Today started off okay and most of the day was okay but this evening has been a bit of a downer. My mom is still not happy with me, but she gave me the money to get the car smog checked - which ended up being $35.95 which is the best, most awesome price!! She also wrote a check to pay for my car registration. She still wants me to pay the extra $10 a month, but I guess I can deal with it. I have to be careful, but somehow I think I can make it and still get DVDs. I just have to be very careful with the money and I have to make sure I can still get things for the kids. I don't know what I'm going to do about their birthdays and Christmas. I'm going to TRY to get Jordan that video game he wants - Skyrim or Sky Rim. It comes out in November. If I can I'll try to pay some in October and the rest in November or try to pay some in September and October and November. That could work. I just have to see what I have left after I get everything that Cassie needs for school and stuff. I want to try to get "Dexter - Season 5" too. Somehow I'll make it work. 

The Smog check didn't take that long. In fact,  I had about four or five pages read when he finished. "The Sheik and the Christmas Bride" is pretty good though it's just at the beginning of the book. I skimmed it a long time ago, but it's good to be reading it through. I still have to finish "Passion" too but I'm taking my time with it, I guess. It's a good book and I get sucked in when I start reading it. I'm just not pushing to finish it quick. It's going to be a year for the last book anyway. Speaking of books I do still need to get back to mine, but I feel emotionally so drained all the time - tired and drained. I feel like I wouldn't do justice with the edits to the story. But eventually I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and just do it, you know? And I want to write more fantasy stories. The one with Michael is so hard though! I kind of want to write another 007 story! LOL! I could make it more interesting. But we'll see.

Jason and Susan brought over their kitties. Jordan and I had gone to Walmart to get a couple of litter boxes because we couldn't find the ones they had left here last time. Apparently they found one litter box. I didn't take my phone with me because I didn't have pockets in my pants. I wish I would have grabbed it. I could have told them I was getting the litter boxes and that they could get litter. Ugh . . . Ah well. Got Jordan and I out of the house and away from my mom for awhile.

On the way there we grabbed sodas from McDonald's, got refills at Walmart, got some goodies and walked around for a bit. Even went upstairs to Electronics to look in the $5 DVD bin. But there wasn't anything I wanted. I did find a movie I wanted, but I decided to hold onto the $20. I had said that if I still had it on my birthday I would go back and get "The Mechanic." Of course, that depends on Jason and Susan. I don't know if they got $40 or $60 worth of groceries. Because if it was only $40 then this $20 has to got for fuel. If it's the other then they should be giving me another $20. I just don't know and don't feel like asking. But I would REALLY like to get "The Mechanic."

Anyway, I found out after I got home that my mom had made Cassie cry. Of course, Susan tried pulling a mom move and that didn't go over so well with Grandma. My mom got pissed. Flat out told them that Cassie was never living over there again. Cassie is devistated and angry. I knew she was. But then Jason just has to RUB IT IN! First he started shit about how basically it's my fault because I'm on Welfare. The HE can't have her because I'm not independent. Like she is HIS. I mean, he IS the closest thing she's had to a real father, but still!! That was NOT superceed ME! I was trying to do what was best for her. But I can't go to jail! If it hadn't been for her fucking father things would be fine. But I can't STAND the fact that Jason just RUBS IT IN  MY FACE HOW UPSET CASSIE IS - Like I DON'T KNOW THIS?? He claims to not want me on the fucking streets, but I'm sure he wouldn't really mind as long as he got Cassie. I am just angry and really hurt. He always says he's sorry or he didn't mean it or didn't mean it that way, but that's him back-tracking from what his original thought was. He just realized it might have hurt me and THEN he's sorry. Was there any real thought about how hard it was for me to give Cassie up? Was there ever any caring there? Really?? And now my daughter is going to treat me like she hates me because of all of this. I hate John. I fucking hate him and I HATE how Jason treats me sometimes. He can be so thoughtless with his words. Then he tells me they don't feel like they can talk to me because I can't cope with it. Well, what GOOD could they want to talk to me about. The only things they could possibly say to me is how awful I am and that I should sacrifice the roof over my head or my ability to live so THEY can have her. How is that productive?? They just want to make me feel awful. They say they don't want me to kill myself, but once I get that Will written and notorized then maybe they'll get what they want. It's not like I don't have a plan. I have ALWAYS had a plan and it's changed only a little over the years. Part of me wants to live long enough to see Cassie get married and to have kids - same with Jordan, but there's part of me that just doesn't want to keep going on with my loser life.

Anyway, I got depressed tonight all over again. I guess I was more angry than I thought too. I don't feel completely suicidal or anything, but it hurts and I would rather not have to live with the pain of now or what's going to happen in a couple of weeks. I suppose part of me wonders if I'll make it to Christmas.

I know one moment I'm planning for the future and the next I'm planning the end. It's all about pain and mood swings, which go hand in hand. It sucks but that's it.

I did distract myself for awhile. I watched episodes of "Eureka" that I missed and the new one that was tonight. I also watched "The Closer" which was a great episode. This detective from Arizona asking for Major Crimes to look into her daughter's death. It was made to look like an overdose, but it was murder. It was a good story. Then I watched "Rizzoli & Isles" which was great too! Someone was killing Witches just like they were killed in Salem back in the 1600's. It's sad. It was a girl with Schizophrenia. I do like my shows.

Anyway, I need to take my meds. I am tired. Don't know if I'll sleep soon, but I can hope. I can cuddle with Karissa and if I'm lucky I will relax enough to sleep. I didn't take to Jason again tonight. I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow. I should call Rick too. I haven't talked to him in several days. Of course, he might be with his other lover. LOL! Ah well! He will also have his son this week so I don't know as if we'll get together, but you never know. But now it's time to try to go to sleep.

A Little Bit of Everything

Wow, I don't feel very good. I have had no energy today. I did wake up around 11:30am because my mom wanted to go to Costco. But then she changed her mind about when she wanted to go, so I went back to sleep. Not that I was particularly tired, but I was tired enough. Then my mom woke me up around 2:00pm or so and we took off to Costco. I wanted to stay in the car, but it was so hot and my mom said that she had so much to get, so I went in. I had no energy though. I knew it was bad when I had to sit down before even going into the store. I was bummed too because I found a book I wanted. Unfortunately it was a new hardcover - "The Silent Girl" by Tess Gerritsen. But it was $15. I might be able to find it at Walmart next month. I really found it hard to get through the list she gave me. Then I went to sit down and wait for her, so I got some reading in, but I had forgotten the lemon so I had to go all the way to the back of the store again to get them. I couldn't wait to get out of there. 

When we got home Jordan brought in the stuff from the store and Diana made Croissant sandwiches for us. Jordan and I were still kinda hungry so we got ice cream sandwiches. I also got the computer after that and checked my "I'm not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" group. Someone had replied to someone else's post, which was a good thing. I could probably reply to that one too. Maybe we could get more people posting. At least I wish I could get people posting . . . ah well.

After awhile I had Jordan come with me to go to the pharmacy. Had to get my ativan!! Then we also went into Vons. Jordan and I were still kinda hungry and they had a large sub sandwich. I bought that, got drinks, I also got some of these cream cheese raspberry puff things and candy bars. I kinda went overboard, but it was good. As soon as we got home we went into my room and split the sandwich. We watched the end of "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" and then he watched part of "Eureka" with me. I got back online again and tried to catch up with some of my other groups. I also watched "The Closer" and it was again another good episode. However Pope is throwing Brenda under the bus to keep his new position as Chief. What an ass!! And I'm watching "Rizzoli & Isles." I love this show!! Two of my favorite characters!! 

Anyway, I am exhausted and think I'm going to crash right after the show is over. But for now, I'm going to finish watching the show, take my meds and just relax.