I've Been Awake More Than 35 Hours Straight

Well, I ended up not sleeping last night and not for a lack of trying. I took baclefen and two ativan and nothing. I relaxed but no sleep. My mind just kept going and going and going. Not too fast, but fast enough. It just didn't want to settle down. I mean, I was a little excited that I had come up with another group to run on Cafemom - Christmas Dreaming. Then I was thinking about a Christmas story I was thinking about writing and my fan fiction. Not to mention "The Mephisto Club," which is getting better and better by each page.

Anyway, I eventually just gave up sleeping. I got my iced coffee. In fact, I had two of them this morning. Not to mention two Extra Large Diet Dr. Peppers from McDonald's. Guess I'm kind of on a caffiene high too. Though usually caffiene doesn't do much to me. 

All I've really done today is play on Cafemom. Of course, nothing moves on there fast enough for me. No one seems to be replying. It is sort of driving me nuts. But I can't really focus on much else. I kind of had "River Monsters" on today. I watched part of "Transformers" which is a good movie though the second movie is my favorite of the franchise. After that, I put on "Food Network Challenge," but I didn't finish it because Jordan and I went out to get sodas and to pick up my medication. Thank god one of the meds was the ativan! LOL! I have taken two of them and with luck they'll help. While Jordan ran in for my meds, I did read a couple of pages of "The Mephisto Club" then went I got home, I put on "The Next Iron Chef: Super Chefs." I missed the first few minutes. But it was a great episode. Anne Buriel won!! Samuelsen was sent home. I know I spelled their names wrong. Ugh! But it was really a good episode. Now I'm watching "Iron Chef America" where the secret ingredient is caviar! 

Well, I think that's really about it. I hope I sleep at some point tonight, though I kind of want to do more reading. I don't know. I have felt pretty scattered today. I have worried about a hypomanic episode or worse, a mixed state. I guess it will really depend on how I feel tomorrow. Right now I just feel scattered, tired but not quite sleepy. Though I think the ativan is starting to work. It's relaxing me a bit.

Okay, that's it. I am done with this. I'm starting to relax. Thank god for ativan. I might sleep yet! So I'm going!

I Always Forget Something . . . LOL!

Trying to get to sleep last night was almost impossible. I think I finally fell asleep around 6:00am or so. Of course, last night I was tired, but I did get to see Rick and that kind of perked me up, I guess. I met him at Vons in La Mesa and followed him to his place. He couldn't come to me because he had his son. His son was sleep though so we were going to hook up behind the couch on this cushion. He's not the greatest kisser, but I love the fact that he wants to spend time with me outside of having sex with me. Of course, that's what we wanted last night, but we both got too paranoid with the sounds in the house and we didn't want his son to find me there. Not until he at least meets me. But as we were making out we talked and he told  me he doesn't feel like he has to keep things from me. That he can be open with me. I thought that was awesome. I don't keep things from him either. But he also talked about watching movies together. I wasn't sure exactly where we stood, but it's obviously he wants more of a relationship with me than I expected which I great! He also likes my laugh and he thinks I'm cute, and not just physically. But my personality. It makes me smile. Anyway, needless to say I think that might have kept me up a bit.

I ended up not waking up until 2:00pm. I wanted to keep sleeping, but I got a call from Cassie. She told me she was going to be home around 3:00pm - 4:00pm. I packed up, what I thought was everything. I then straightened up a little. I ate the last of the Chili Mac. I couldn't remember anything else I needed to take with me. Turns out that I left my phone charger, Cassie's backpack and her book . . . She got home about 4:00pm or so. I can't remember a whole lot of what else we did, but I made dinner. I didn't have a lot of energy to fix anything and my mom wasn't feeling up to it, but Cassie and I eventually settled on Bean and cheese burritos - refried beans, cheese and sour cream (except for Jordan) wrapped in a flour tortilla. Simple and delicious! Jordan had a few, Cassie had three. I'm not sure how many I ate. But between the three of us we finished all the beans!

After dinner Cassie came into my room with me and we watched some TV and played on the computer. But my mom needed Jordan and I to go after some of her medication. On the way to the pharmacy we stopped at McDonald's. I had enough change to get soda for Jordan and I. Once we got the medication we went home. I had Jordan change the laundry that I'd had him start and then Cassie and I settled down together. Then it dawned on me that I had forgotten my phone charger and Cassie's backpack and book. Cassie starts flipping out, but I told her we could fix it. She was complaining because it means breaking into Jason and Susan's. LOL! But she's done it many times before.

Anyway, we got there and together we took care of Zippy. I'll know how to really take care of him next time, which I'm glad about. Cassie then decided she wanted to take a shower there, which I didn't mind. I watched "Food Network Challenge" which was "A Peanuts Thanksgiving." It was cool! Plus we got home in time for me to watch "The Next Iron Chef - Super Chefs." Cassie went to bed after being sweet enough to get me water. I'm hoping there is a new "IRon Chef America" next. Of course, I'm pretty tired and do want to try to go to sleep relatively early since I have a ticket buy in the morning. I kind if don't want to go and do it, but it'll be $20 I could use. At least I know where I'm going - Sports Arena.

Well, I guess that's it. I'm just glad I was able to go back to Jason and Susan's and get the things I'd forgotten earlier. It all worked out well.



House Sitting

Well, I was so tired that I didn't want to wake up. I did, however, then packed to go over to Jason and Susan's for the night. I packed an outfit for tomorrow. I packed PJs, my medication - except advil like an idiot. I also brought my crocheting, but somehow I have lost the hook! Ugh!! Then I wanted to do some writing today, but instead I just chilled out to the TV. I watched a lot of "Chopped" tonight. I also watched a repeat of "Halloween Wars" and even an Urban Legends "Food Network Challenge." I watched a few other things, but I can't seem to remember. Must have been that interesting! LOL! Before I had settled down to that though, I took Cassie to Katie Kelly's. I picked her and Katie Kelly up then went to Albertson's for something to drink and something sweet to eat. I also bought a Woman's World magazine. I do love those things.

Anyway, I have just been tired and exhausted all day. Not to mention dizzy. It has really thrown me off today. I just kind of feel like crap. I might try to get some writing done, but I have definitely fallen short of my goals this week for it.

There's really nothing more for me to say. I haven't done anything other than that. So I'm going to close this up and move my ass to the bedroom. Maybe I'll sleep well here for a change. They have a memory foam bed topper. I can't wait to lay on it.

Back to Being Ms. Mopey

Well, outside of being very tired, I was having a good day until I hear from Jason. He got all out of whack because Greg said he'd buy Cassie a new snake. You know, I don't know why he reads so much crap into it. He gets so fucking immature and jealous that it drives me nuts.

So then Cassie texts me that Jason is being an asshole. I asked if it was about Greg. She said yes. I told her to ignore him and that Greg would probably not come through with the snake for her anyway (which he hasn't produced the guitar he's been promising her over a year so . . ) Anyway, he got mad. She told me she hated me and that all the adults were just negative basically. I figured there was nothing more to say and I was actually upset that she'd write that she hated me. So I just said "Okay. Sorry. Nite." she then wrote me back "I love you. Goodnight." It really didn't make me feel better though. So I'm kind of mopey now. Tired and mopey.

Last night I couldn't sleep so I didn't fall asleep until about 7:00am and I took about 4 mg of ativan. That's a lot of ativan, but I just couldn't seem to sleep. My legs were restless and that kept me awake. The only thing I could think to do was medicate. It sucked. Anyway, then I was too tired and slept and slept. My mom woke me up around noon and I fell back to sleep for another 3 hours. Even then I didn't want to wake up. But I did and my mother and I went to the store. There were sales. So she gave me the stuff to get that was marked on the flier she had while she took her list. It didn't take me that long. So I grabbed a "Woman's World" magazine and a water and sat down to wait for her to appear. I drank almost the whole bottle of water. That's how thirsty I was. She complained about that a little,  but not too much. She bought quite a few things too.

Coming home, I finally got online and I got to write with Patty B stopping only long enough to eat french bread pizza, and I got to chat with Shaunn. He and I had more sexual talking. The man is HOT and he gets me hot!! LOL! Anyway, I've been very, very tired and right now I am too. I think I just need to grab something else to eat and then I need to try to sleep. We'll see if I sleep before I am done watching my shows. I watched a special "Hop" cake challenge on "Food Network Challenge." Then I watched the fourth episode of "Chopped All Stars" and this one was with previous judges! Now "Iron Chef America" is on. But it's a repeat I think. After that is "Cupcake Wars" but I don't think I'm going to be awake for it.

I guess as things stand now I am tired and mopey and definitely in need of sleep. I just hope tomorrow I'm over what Cassie texted and that I don't feel tired like I did today. Those are my goals. Guess they're good ones.

From Gentle Breeze to Fierce Winds

I ended up staying up late last night after all. I know, it's just how I am, I guess. It's something I will keep trying to change, but I made the mistake of turning on something that definitely ended up getting my attention. I thought I could sleep to it because of the narrator, but nope. It was just too unteresting. I think the show was called "Underwater Universe." Basically it means that it was hard to wake up. Finally Paige came in and woke me up around 11:00am. She was sweet and made one of my iced coffees for me. Paige is just such a sweetie. Eventually we went out and got something to eat. We had yogurt. Then back in the room we played on Facebook. It was so funny how many times we had to switch from hers to mine. But I was trying to bless her shy pet in Happy Pets. Seven blessings and the baby pet will come out. So I did that. Then she was a little disappointed because her baby was a duck and she wanted a bear. I had two of my accounts that had bears so I sent her one for adoption. She'll get it tomorrow. It was fun and funny! Paige also helped me with a couple of things in my room. She helped me get hangers and helped me hang up my clothes. Did laundry yesterday so I had a lot of clothes. It was definitely a great help. Then she also helped me fix the blankets on the bed. After that, she wanted to watch a movie - "Garfield: Tail of Two Kitties." I was working on my schedule as I worked on it. But eventually I got hungry for dinner. I think she was hungry too, but she just won't say anything. It kind of drives me up the wall! LOL! She was also adamant that she wanted to cook. She loves to cook. We decided on quesadillas. I pulled stuff out of the fridge and got the pan. I told her I'd do the salad. Not that that's very complicated. LOL! Lettuce in a bowl! I also asked my mom if she wanted anything and she wanted a quesadilla. But there was one snag. There were only six tortillas for four of us. Then Jordan came out and told me he was going out with his friends at 6:30pm so I figured his friends would take him out to eat. They usually do so he got one quesadilla. My mom got one then Paige and I got two apiece. It was good because I was really on the hungry side. Dinner turned out well.

After dinner was over, Paige and I went back to the room and finished watching the movie. Then we turned on the Food Network channel. She loves that channel too and likes "Chopped" so together we watched last week's encore "Chopped All Stars". Then "Food Network Challenge" which was pretty cool! They had to make an extreme demolition derby car. Then they had to do a cake remote controlled car! It was so funny because they had a demolition derby! We got to watch the little cake cars destroy each other! LOL! It was great! After that Paige and I started watching the new "Chopped All Stars" but her mom came and she didn't get a chance to finish watching it. I also watched "Iron Chef America" but it was a repeat and so I used most of the time working on my schedule. I got to August. But I would prefer to be in November or December with it. 

Today was also really windy. I kept waiting for the rain to hit, but for the most part it was just wind, wind, wind all day. Cassie called me and told me that she almost got hit by a tree when she went out walking dogs with her friends. That was kind of scary for me to hear, but at least she was okay. That was the most important thing for me. Eventually it did start raining though and boy is it raining now. It is just a total down pour. I like rain though so it doesn't bother me. 

Now I'm watching "Cupcake Wars" which I love. I'm tired though so we will maybe see about sleeping, but I doubt it will come as easily as I want. As usual.

I can say all in all a good day. My mood has been stable. I think maybe having Paige over made me feel a little better than usual. Anyway, think I will finish watching my show and chill out. Cross your fingers that sleep will find me! :-)