Am I a Sea Urchin?

Well, today has been different. But I guess not in a bad way. I just hope it doesn't turn into something bad.

I managed to wake up early this morning and I went to class. It was great. First class was mostly Kim venting about stuff, but it was important to get it out. We also covered symtoms before crisis and what's a crisis. I was amazed and how much her and I and Lynne had in common with our symptoms! It was actually kind of nice to know it wasn't just me. Kim said it was good to hear too for the same reason. Guess we have a tendency to think we're the only ones, or it doesn't register that other people experience. I suppose the way to say that is we know it, but we don't KNOW it until we hear it from someone else.

The next class was group process. I forget the guy's name that shared first. Kim didn't because she did last class. Then it was me and I really just let it out about all the anxiety I feel with Diana here. I got to express how I felt like I was a sea urchin with all the prickly spines. I am so stressed about her being here and with her not feeling well and doing all she does, I just don't know if and when she'll go off. She hasn't yet and that's a very good thing. But if she goes off she might end up taking me up and over the edge and I could end up in the hospital. Not that that would be a horrible thing, but that isn't something I want. I just wish I wasn't so on edge. I really have tried being nice and telling her when I appreciate stuff. I don't know if it matters to her. But really, even if she doesn't, that's fine as long as she doesn't go off on me.

After class, I came home. I got on Cafemom for awhile, but eventually I laid down and I crashed out. I had a weird dream I can only remember bits and pieces of. I can't put a lot of it together. It's like I get a hint of what I was dreaming and then is just fizzles away. But the weird thing with this dream, but that I was known. I can't remember for what. And I was taking my shirt off to give it to someone in a crowd like it was a prize or something. LOL! And I didn't think anything about being topless. Go figure. In fact, I felt like I still had something on, but I didn't - on the top that is. 

Eventually my mom woke me up so that I could take her to go get her medication then she wanted to go to Vons to pick up a couple of things. It's nice that it's in the same parking lot as the pharmacy. My mom also gave me enough money to get some cold water. Thank goodness. I also got to read a little more of "State of Fear." I'm getting close to the end. I think I surprised my mom on the way home. She was bringing up the Casey Anthony trial and I think I surprised her with how much I knew about it. I was saying did you hear this? Did you hear that? And she hadn't. But I watch it all day long for the most part.

When we got back Diana had chicken done - BBQ chicken from the oven. Yum! I ended up getting three pieces! I also turned on the Trail Coverage. As soon as I was done, I went to my room. Jason called and we talked a bit about how I was feeling. He says I've been different today and well, between being tired and Diana, I guess that's enough to throw me off. I worry so much. I guess I shouldn't but I do. 

I did play more on Cafemom and almost forgot "Burn Notice" was on because I was doing that AND I was watching some of the trail coverage I'd missed. But I eventually remembered and it was a GOOD episode. I eventually got to watch the first half. Then I watched about half of "Suits" before I got a phone call. First I was kind of surprised because it was my brother Tim's phone. Turned out to be Jordan which I thought it might be, but I wasn't sure why. Ended up that he'd had enough with Tim and wanted to come home. So I went out and got him. I didn't tell anyone because no one was around so he'll be a surprise in the morning. I'll tell you, I am really freaked out about him  being back, but on the other hand I don't feel so alone now. I don't hang out with Jordan all the time, but knowing he's there is enough sometimes. And secondary thing is that it's good to have his help around here again. I just hope he doesn't get into it with Diana at any point. I laid some ground rules down, but with Jordan that doesn't always mean anything. He has a tendency to do what he wants to do regardless. But I was serious with him that I might end up in the hospital and I really didn't want to do that. It would probably help my case for the SSI! So it wouldn't be a bad thing necessarily. LOL! But still, I would rather not. Of course, that's because I'm addicted to that damn nose spray. 

Anyway, I just hope things go smoothly. I told him what I wanted him to do and what I didn't want him to do. But none of it means anything really. It will play out how it plays out. But at least he'll be participating on  the 4th of July with us! :-D I am looking forward to that. 

Well, it's after 1:00am and I didn't mean to stay up this late so I'm going to head to bed. I was going to go to the gym tomorrow, but I don't know. I'll have to see how I feel in the morning. But I don't want to sleep all day. Plus I want Jordan not to sleep all day either. But we'll see. And that's it!