I am so sick to my stomach. I knew the other shoe would drop and, surprise, surprise, it has! I picked up Jordan last night and that's what happened. Her and Jordan. Get this, he wasn't doing the dishes right and she comes and bitches at me and she wanted me to tell him how to do dishes HER way when I don't even do them HER way! Ugh! So she got into a huff with me. I just let her talk and I didn't fight with her. And believe it or not, Jordan didn't cuss at her though she said he did, I think. Actually, I am so upset I can't remember. My mind goes fuzzy with this crap sometimes and I guess it's one of those times. I just can't believe she had to do that. But what I think is interesting neither Jordan or I would engage her in an argument. So that might have her in a tizzy too. She wants fights and I think she was itching for one. Guess I won't be leaving my room a lot tomorrow, if at all. I mean, not that I did before, but I don't want anymore shit from her. Even now my chest hurts, I'm light-headed and generally feel like crap.
The thing was today started off kind of bad. Well, not bad. I was just so tired. I was going to try to wake up early, but I couldn't. I just couldn't wake up. Of course that might have something to do with the fact I was up until almost 3:30am. I was exhausted too, but I ended up listening to music and stuff. Then this morning I didn't do much. But my mom wanted me to take her and Diana to the bank. So I did that without complaint. I sat out in the hot fucking heat for half an hour. Did I bitch and complain? NO! Of course, when I got home, Cassie was here. It's been good to have her here. And it's been good to have Jordan home too. It's just Diana. It's like a flashback to the horrible, nightmarish past.
Cassie and I basically listened to music and played with the computer. I didn't spend that much time on it. But after dinner tonight - well before dinner too - I have been sending out greets from my group "I'm not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" because even though I have 7 members NO ONE is active except me! It's a little disheartening. So I'm going to try to get a few more members and maybe eventually I'll get someone who will play with me on there.
My chest is still hurting. I am going to have to take some ativan for sure. Probably two of them. This sucks! I shouldn't have to walk around my own fucking house like this because of HER. THIS isn't her home anymore! She doesn't have a fucking right to act the way she does. Not that it will stop her. After all, this is about mom. That's the excuse she'll use. I'm back to wishing she'd drop dead again. Well, maybe not. But I want her GONE! Let her go back to her Dave and make his life happy or whatever. She needs to be anywhere other than HERE. She is a very hard person to get along with. She doesn't see it, but she is. She says I am, but then why do I have friends and have had the same friends for years? Whatever . . . I'll just have to take my medicine, try not to cry and hope I can get some sleep. I just feel so sick and I HATE her FUCKING DRAMA! She always has to bring it in somewhere. I just have to stop talking about her and thinking about her. She just needs to disappear.
Anyway, I guess that's it. I don't have anything nice to say about Diana today except that she made lunch. Whatever. She says she's done being nice. Whatever I didn't do anything to her, but I guess if that's the case, I don't have to take her anywhere either. Okay, I'm done. I'm done . . . though I am still upset and still sick to my stomach and angry too. I guess I still do hate her. I can't forget the shit she's done because she keeps doing it. Whatever. I might be lazy, but she is a bitch. Can't fix that. And I have a reason for being lazy. She has no reason for being a bitch. She just is one. Fuck her! I can't stop bitching. Ugh!! I have to go. I hate her!
No comments:
Post a Comment