I don't have much to say today. I slept almost the whole day. I wanted to. I have to wake up so early tomorrow it sucks. But I have to go to Welfare. I need to fill out the paperwork too. I just wish I didn't have to do it. Especially because I have hardly any fuel left and I just hate it. But we have to do what we have to do.
My mom had a cow with the fact that I was sleeping so late and that Jordan did too. He slept longer than I did. I finally got up and watched some TV and got online. My mom or Diana had made dinner and I got Jordan up to eat and do dishes while Diana was on a walk. Of course, when she got home, she started yelling at mom. Whatever. It will come back to me sooner or later. As it is my mother has still been a bitch to me. She has been so verbally abusive. It's hard to be back in this position. It really is. I'm having heartburn every night. I am always anxious. I'm always tired. Emotionally this crap is just draining. And I can't say anything because I'm always wrong. Doesn't matter if I were right. I would be wrong no matter what. I fricken hate it. I just wish Diana would just go back to Dave or drop dead. I hate her. And now my mom says that they might not go to the family reunion! OMG!! Kill me now! I need a break from them! I need that week break!! Ugh! IF there really is a God, He will make them go to it and get them out of my life for a week so I don't flip out. I'll tell you, I don't know how much I can take if Diana is here. I have wanted to cut almost every day several times a day. What can I do? And if I leave they will do what they want with my room. I would be leaving Jordan alone here to fend for himself . . . I don't know. I don't know what to do.
I'm going to hope that my food money is in tonight. I want to do some food shopping. Nothing major. Just want to get some snacks and stuff. My mom and Diana will have a cow, but you know, whatever. Then stop stressing me out! They have the attitude that I should do what they want if I want them to stop. Well, I want the same thing. I want them to stop before I give up my treats. Well, nothing is going to change though. I know it for a fact. That's how it goes here. My stress level isn't going to go down, so my stress eating isn't going to go down. I won't even try to stop it right now. I should, but I don't want to. I guess I just stuff with food. It will make me feel a little better at the moment. It may not later, but it will work for now.
Well, since I'm going to go out to Walmart in a bit and go shopping, I think I should get dressed. :-P I just hope my food money is in so I don't look like an idiot in line. I might have to take my heartburn medicine now. I hate that it's happening everynight. Anyway, I suppose that's it for now. I am hating life at the moment, but there's nothing I can do about it. So there you have it. Crap on crap. I just need to get dressed and finish watching "Haunted Collector" season finale. Almost can't wait to get to the store.
No comments:
Post a Comment