Wacked Wednesday

I didn't sleep that well last night. Cassie arrived sometime between 2:00-3:00am. Once she got to bed, I went back to bed and I still had trouble sleeping. I did try to wake up her up for school, but I wasn't up for fighting with her and I knew she was tired from crying and being up so early to come over. At first I was going to just let her sleep until 9:30am. Then being half asleep she talked me into letting her stay home. I shouldn't have because I have no way of excusing it, but I just couldn't fight with her. Maybe that makes me a bad mom. But she would have had to walk home from school too because I had a doctor's appointment.

I finally woke up around noon, I guess, give or take. I got dressed, drank a little water and with Cassie headed to my medical doctor with me. I got into the back relatively quickly and I didn't have to wait too terribly long to see Dr. Jason. Yes, his name is Jason Yarborough or something like that. Everyone called him Dr. Jason. What's cool is I remembered everything that I wanted to talk to him about. Apparently I still don't have high blood pressure. They checked my pressure twice while I was there with two different sized cuffs and sure enough I was actually really good. I think the last one was 74/124 or are those numbers supposed to be reversed - which ever is the good way is the way it was for me. That was a load off my mind. Then we talked about me wanting to get a sleep study. He said that I really don't have the symptoms for it, but that it was a good idea to rule it out. My pdoc will be happy. I also talked about changing my muscle relaxant and last of all, my wonderful rashes!! Turned out that using that cream near my eyes wasn't such a good thing. Guess it can ruin my corneas. So that was bad. He said it was better to give me pills. So that's what I'm going to be taking. I hope it works. He's also sending out my blood work to do some regular panels and then to do allergy panels too, so we can find out what I'm allergic to. This should be interesting because they also test for food allergies. I'm interested in hearing the results. He also prescribed me a new muscle relaxant and then I had to talk to someone about the referral. THAT was the long part. Cassie and I were waiting for over an hour. Then the lady said she didn't know I was there. Ugh . . . But I got it done. Turned out I needed to give a urine sample anyway, so I did that too. But by the time we got out of there we were way ready to go. Cassie and I were both hungry and thirsty and though I didn't have the money really, we went to the Hostess Outlet Store. Turned out not to be too bad. We found a super deal and got five treats to share for $2.25. I also had us get water. They were $.69 cents each. So I didn't use up too much money.

But by the time we got home, Jason and Susan were ready to pick her up. What sucked is that I was still so tired. And I didn't really want to say good-bye. But I did. I still had panic attacks though all day long. I think they've eased up a bit. I'm not feeling the extreme tightness in my chest anymore. I barely made it through dinner which my mother was nice enough to cook. she'd cooked up these prepared ribs. They are so good! It was a nice treat. However, I could barely move and my mom wanted to yammer at me. She always asks me why I'm so negative about everything. To be honest, it's hard to be positive about anything when you grew up with an over-critical mother. It made me feel like I just couldn't do anything right. And making a mistake or failing one of my biggest fears that I have not been able to conquer and I have tried. But she finally let me go and I went to sleep for about an hour and a half or so. I was still tired when I got up, but I did feel better. I watched "The First 48" and then "Mythbusters." I did stretches and I still did my GRAPES. I didn't feel up to it at first, but I pushed myself to do it. I wanted to keep those stretches up and to be honest, I'm afraid if I start missing days that I'll start brushing it off and I don't want to do that. I want to keep the stretches up. And then if those pills work, I hope I can return to swimming. 

Now I'm just kicking back and watching "River Monsters - Unhooked" and plan to go back to sleep shortly. I need to also set my alarm to make sure I get up in time for classes. I missed today and I won't miss tomorrow. 

I have felt off today. It's probably just because I'm so tired and seeing Cassie, only to have her go and keeping her home from school. The anxiety didn't help. But I think if I sleep tonight tomorrow will be better.