Well, I woke up relatively early today and I had a hard time waking up. Hind-sight, I probably shouldn't have taken the 5-Hour Energy AND my huge iced coffee. I think it's left me feeling on edge all day. But it did get me moving. I got up, got dressed, got my coffee and headed out the door to class. And class was fantastic. Met up with Kimberly first and she gave me a card with what she felt about me falling her yesterday. It was so sweet. She said I inspired her because I left my comfort zone to call her. It is awesome and I'll call again. Maybe next time will be easier. But either way I inspired her! She's inspired me too, just in class with her wanting to get better and really working the programs and stuff. I think her and I can inspire each other.
Class was good. We had seven people there! I have never seen that many people there for the meeting before. It was cool, but I think I like the intimate feeling of smaller groups. Still what I get is always helpful and good!
After class I came home. I called my medical doctor and made an appointment. Jordan and I went to the store to see about getting apple boxes. Albertson's said they would save them for me tomorrow. I picked up some groceries there. Plus, I got a call from my Pdoc about changing my appointment to tomorrow at 10:00am. I said sure! Then we went to Vons and I was able to get two apple boxes. I have one packed up already. I will need about 4-5 more just for my DVDs . . . Ugh . . . I still don't want to move out for a month. But I will. I'm just going to have to deal with the stress. And I hope I can use the toilet. If not, I'm really screwed. But enough worrying about something I can't yet do anything about.
When we got home, I did my stretches and I typed up more of my book. I have just felt on edge and tired. But as I said before, I think that was just too much energy drink and coffee. And it's not like I have felt really down. Maybe a bit irritable or moody. However I got to see Cassie, Susan and Daniel. Susan brought them over to see Jordan - who was sleeping, of course. But they hung out a little, I gues. Susan and I talked a little Jason was being a butthead like he can get and I guess he punched another hole in the wall. What an idiot.
Then I got on Facebook and I found that my friend Melanie accepted the friend request. Alison, however, wrote me back a nasty gram and told me not to contact her again. I was blind-sided by that one. I don't remember us ending on bad terms. In fact, the last time I had seen her I was pregnant and we were out to dinner at the same place. But whatever. I guess she was just in a bad mood or she remembers something I don't. Either way, the upset has run its course and I'm over it. But it did sting considering I did nothing to her. Guess some people just aren't worth finding.
It did make me a bit nostalgic though for Denise. I went poking around. Didn't find anything knew that was in English anyway. But I did find out that she's on Ada's friend page. I don't really care, I guess. Ada doesn't really talk to me that much so I know she's not playing any games with me. Plus, I think Ada is tired of games. She has other things to worry about. I was surprised to see Denise and Heather on her list though. I will probably never say anything about it. What would be the point. I don't say much about anything, and I hardly think Denise thinks about me much, unless it's to say how terrible I am because I wouldn't write her book for her. Ugh . . . But I was thinking about Denise and how I could handle her as an email friend. However, I just don't think she'd be interested. But I created a yahoo and facebook account in order to reach her, should I chose to. I always think twice about it. Maybe I'll contact her for her birthday or something. That might be a way to think about it.
Anyway, I still feel off-balance. I think it's just the energy stuff and caffeine, but I don't like this feeling. I even took an ativan and I still feel off. Maybe after I get some sleep I'll feel better. I hope this isn't some kind of crash. If it is, I have to keep at it and push through it. I can't just give up like I have so often done. I need to keep doing those things that are good for me and maybe I'll have to rethink who I might want to contact. I need to sleep. That's what I really need. I think after I finish watching "Sanctuary" it's going to be bed time.
Tomorrow I'll feel more balanced and if not, I'll talk to my new pdoc and see what he or she has to say.
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