Tired and Stressed

I didn't sleep well last night. I took medication and it backfired. Just love it when that happens! NOT!! But I told Jordan to wake me up at 9:00am, but I think I ended up sleeping until 10:00am. After that I made my coffee and went to the bank to check my balance and . . . my money wasn't in yet. UGH!!! So I went back home. I ended up laying down and taking a nap.

After I got up, I went to the bank again - this time with my mom - and my money . . . . drum roll . . . Still wasn't IN!! So my mom had me take her to her bank where she cashed a $17 check and gave me the money for fuel. So if I don't get my money, I have fuel to get to class tomorrow and to my therapist. From there my mom wanted to go to Wendy's. She treated us to fish sandwich combos. It was so good! I love fish sandwiches and Wendy's is pretty good! On the way out we got Jordan a couple of Double Stackers. My mom had saved a bunch of her fries for him and we filled up her cup with Dr. Pepper so he'd have a drink. I think that was pretty good! He actually got up and ate without an attitude. 

My mom also told me today that she's going to not take rent from me anymore!! Isn't that awesome?? I'll have money! I'll be able to cover my gas for the month! I'll be able to get my brakes done next month! I can get make-up which I thought I wasn't going to be able to do this month. I do have to pay my mom $50 this month, but $30 goes to my gym membership and the $20 is for fuel that she's given me. I am just so thankful. But I also think my mom is just getting tired. She wants me to be more active in the house - make dinner for Jordan and I. She wants to go on a diet so she wants to just cook for herself. I don't mind. I think Jordan will be more willing to wash dishes if I cook. It's just because my mother really does just expect everyone to go "What can I do for you?" or just magically know what should be done. Some things seem obvious, but not to us. See, I try to say please and thank you and just that goes a long way. It's that attitude of "You should do this for me just because" - the sense of entitlement she has. People don't WANT to do something for people that have that kind of attitude. I didn't when I was a kid and my kids are like me. Treat me with respect I'll do it. Want to have the attitude that I should do this because you deserve it isn't a winning strategy.

Then my mother threw me another curve ball. Diana is coming to visit in June and she doesn't want me here because Diana and I fight. Correction - SHE picks fights with me!! I told my mother that and she doesn't want to talk about it. Obviously Diana must be the one in the right. I have a place I can go - Greg's. But I don't know. I hate the fact that I'm being kicked out of my own house because of that bitch. That I have to leave my cat behind because I don't want to risk her getting lose and running away or getting killed by Greg's dog. The big one that really needs to be somewhere else is Jordan. Diana and Jordan both rub each other the wrong way. Then Jason had to point out that she's probably going to spend the month telling mom to kick us out. But you know, there's nothing I can do about it. I can't control people. I can only control myself. I am feeling anxiety though. I'm trying to keep myself in check so I don't wig out, but it is stressful. However, I can only do what I can do. We'll see what happens.

Anyway, I laid down a little more with Karissa, but could only do that for so long. I then started working on my schedule. I'm finally in December, which I think is great! I watched the new episode of "Deadliest Catch", half of "Serenity." I also wrote to My Aussie!! And he wrote me back already!!! :-D So I'm pretty happy. But god knows I'm tired! LOL! However, I'm going to make it to midnight so I can go to the bank and check my balance once more. If the money is in, I might head to Walmart before going to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day but if my money is in, it will be well worth it!