Well, the depression won out today. Not only did I not go to the gym, I slept until 3:00pm. I just couldn't seem to wake up. Then I had this weird dream that I was in some kind of simulation of a fight being waged with swords. But somehow in the chaos I managed to misplace my sword. Actually it was a rapier, I believe. Anyway, I can't remember where I went, but I was with people I either knew or who knew me and they gave me this long looking knife - almost like a bread knife. It was at that point or just after when I woke up. I'm not sure what it means. I'm not good with dream interpretation. I never was. But I do on occasion have interesting dreams. I am still so tired. I feel it inside me. Deep inside. I might go to sleep as soon as "Merlin" is over. We'll see.
Needless to say I did nothing of interest today. At least not really. Once I got up, I took my mom to the bank. I was so thirsty though. I asked if she had a dollar to get myself a drink from MacDonald's. After the bank she gave me $5 and so I was able to get a diet Dr. Pepper. But they got a simple order wrong. They thought I'd ordered a cone too. I ended up taking it though. My mom took a few bites, but I finished it. Then we swung by Wendy's getting burgers and fries for us, Jordan and George. Outside of that, I've just been puttering around online. Because of Paige, I found a new application - Muzy. You can make picture collages and I've done two so far. One of Jason, Susan, myself, Cassie, Jordan, Paige, Katie and Karissa. The second one was all Karissa. :-)
Other than that, I watched "Criminal Minds." It's actually a pretty good show. Maybe I'll start watching the marathons of it. I watched about four episodes of it today. Karissa is snoring at the moment as she sleeps next to me. It's cute. I would love to record it, but it's never come out and I've tried a few times.
Anyway, I drank a lot of water since I've been awake. Now I need to take my meds and then go to sleep. I just really hate this depression. I don't want to sleep all day on a logical level. I know it's not good for me. In fact, I'm sure it will just feed the depression. But on an emotional level all I want to do is sleep. I am seriously hoping this is just PMS. I don't want to find myself back in the pit again. How many times can I fall in before I just can't get out anymore, you know? All I can do is just hope I have the inner strength to wake up and stay awake tomorrow. Not sure what I'll do tomorrow, but I can't sleep all day. Of course, I say that, but who knows what'll happen when I wake up in the morning.
I guess all I can do is try to keep in mind that I NEED to stay awake. Maybe it'll have to be a 5-hour energy day. We'll see.
Needless to say I did nothing of interest today. At least not really. Once I got up, I took my mom to the bank. I was so thirsty though. I asked if she had a dollar to get myself a drink from MacDonald's. After the bank she gave me $5 and so I was able to get a diet Dr. Pepper. But they got a simple order wrong. They thought I'd ordered a cone too. I ended up taking it though. My mom took a few bites, but I finished it. Then we swung by Wendy's getting burgers and fries for us, Jordan and George. Outside of that, I've just been puttering around online. Because of Paige, I found a new application - Muzy. You can make picture collages and I've done two so far. One of Jason, Susan, myself, Cassie, Jordan, Paige, Katie and Karissa. The second one was all Karissa. :-)
Other than that, I watched "Criminal Minds." It's actually a pretty good show. Maybe I'll start watching the marathons of it. I watched about four episodes of it today. Karissa is snoring at the moment as she sleeps next to me. It's cute. I would love to record it, but it's never come out and I've tried a few times.
Anyway, I drank a lot of water since I've been awake. Now I need to take my meds and then go to sleep. I just really hate this depression. I don't want to sleep all day on a logical level. I know it's not good for me. In fact, I'm sure it will just feed the depression. But on an emotional level all I want to do is sleep. I am seriously hoping this is just PMS. I don't want to find myself back in the pit again. How many times can I fall in before I just can't get out anymore, you know? All I can do is just hope I have the inner strength to wake up and stay awake tomorrow. Not sure what I'll do tomorrow, but I can't sleep all day. Of course, I say that, but who knows what'll happen when I wake up in the morning.
I guess all I can do is try to keep in mind that I NEED to stay awake. Maybe it'll have to be a 5-hour energy day. We'll see.
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