I don't want to jinx things so I almost hate putting anything positive up there for the title. I've had some pretty hard slams when I thought things were okay at a given time. But I don't feel as totally helpless as I did two days ago. I think hearing Jason say he understood that I was in a no-win situation helped me a bit, but he could turn around tomorrow and tell me I don't care about Cassie again because he feels like it. I hope he doesn't, but I can't rely on his apology to last longer than a day or two. I just hope and pray he doesn't fuck up my birthday tomorrow. As it was, after I got back to going to the ER I slept. I slept through yesterday and didn't wake up until 2:30pm give or take.
Anyway, I talked to him today. He apologized again. We're going over there for dinner tomorrow night for my birthday. I don't know how Cassie will feel about seeing me, but I guess I'll find out.
Jordan actually gave me the computer for most of the day which was nice. I got to work more on my Michael story. I think it's actually going along okay. I'm hoping I can finish it. The next scene or so I'm going to have my character kiss him. Or something like that. I want a good story, but I want to finish it already! LOL! After I finish it I'll have to read it over for mistakes. Even reading over my 007 story I found MORE mistakes! Ugh! I can't win sometimes. After Michael, I might write another story for 007 and Kitty. I can always write in the evil family this time. LOL!
Anyway, my mom made chicken wings with new potatoes and green beens. It was good, but a couple of hours later Jordan and I were hungry again. Actually, I was more thirsty at first so I took us to McDonald's we got sodas and ice cream then went back through for sandwiches and fries! LOL! Jordan got a McDouble. I got a McChicken. I could have actually used another soda! I think tomorrow I'll get another soda maybe. Or maybe not. I guess it depends on how I feel and what time we get going. Plus, I think my mom wants to go to the 99 Cent store tomorrow. It'll have to be after my Pdoc appointment at 10:00am. I have to remember to set the alarm or I'm going to sleep through it.
Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about "The Pretender" tv series. In fact, something I find funny is last week on "Burn Notice" was Jarod's father figure Sydney - Patrick Bauchau. This week on "Burn Notice" had Michael T. Weiss - Jarod - as a bad guy. And then on "Suits" after it was Miss Parker - Andrea Parker. Now all we need is Broots and we'd have everyone! LOL! I thought that was cool! I wish they had done more "Pretender" episodes, but it is what it is. I miss Jarod. :-)
Wow, I'm tired. I wouldn't have thought so with all the sleep I got yesterday. In fact, Cassie came in, hugged me and told me she loved me. At least I think she did. I knew she came in and I told her I loved her. I couldn't keep my eyes open though. I was so emotionally and physically drained. It's a bitch carrying my computer and stuff I thought I'd need if I got admitted. I had to walk all the way to the ER. Once at the ER I had to walk all the way back to D-ward. From there I had to walk around to get back to the front of the ER again and get to the car. Ugh . . . And of course, my emotions had gone through the wringer. I hope that doesn't happen to me again for awhile, though all bets are off when Cassie comes home.
I finally took a shower tonight and it felt pretty good. It still took a lot out of me, but I got to wash the rashes which I needed to. What's sad at the moment is I'm hungry again! LOL! Ugh!! But being as tired as I am sleep might win out.
I'm really glad my Michael story is really starting to go well. It was really hard to write at first and it might not sit well with my readers, but I think it'll come out good.
Anyway, think I'll close this up for now. I have to remember to go to Vons tomorrow and see what their $5 Friday treat is. I hope it's something really good! :-) I'm packing on way too much weight. I thought most of it was Diana being here, but now I know a lot of it is this whole mess with Cassie. I don't know if I can keep myself from gaining 100 lbs more. Ugh! I did talk with Dr. Tess for awhile. He could tell just how worn out I was. But I don't think talking to him will help with my eating either. I just can't stop wanting sweets. Especially cakey sweets. I am already as big as a house, but how do you stop when you feel like you need it! Guess it's an addiction. I have more than I think I guess.
Okay, time to go. It's almost midnight and I have to take my meds. Hopefully I'll sleep well.
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