Gearing Up for the Holidays

Well, what can I say? Monday night I took a bath to do some reading - yes the tub is my reading place! LOL! I was reading "I, Alex Cross" by James Patterson. I was about half way through it when I picked up. My mistake was not putting it down. The farther I got the most I had to know how it was going to end! Do that ever happen to you? Anyway, I ended up reading the rest of the book! I was in the tub for something like 4.5 hours. And in a lot of ways it was worth it, but it took a lot out of me the next day. I was up until about 1:00am and then I woke up around 9:00am give or take. I used to be able to go on the littlest amount of sleep and still function properly. But now? Nope. Yesterday, I crashed at 4:30pm. Was woken up around 7:00pm to have some dinner, then I went back to sleep and though I woke up a lot I didn't want to wake today at 8:30am. But I did!! And I perked up as the day went on though I am getting amazingly tired.

Yesterday was good too. Marissa came over with a woman that works with Cassi at school and we talked. It was good to find out what was going on in school with her, which she has been doing good for the most part until last week. I'll sit Cassi down and speak with her and see if there is something I can do for her or set a new rule for her to get her bus pass. I also found out about an assignment she has to do for English and it should be a snap for her. Five paragraphs about what she would like to change about herself. 

Marissa and I also talked about my own mental health. I have had some rocky days on and off for a bit and I told her I was thinking about going back to the CBT classes at Heartland (CBT = Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). She thought that was a good idea and we made that as my goal this week. She was happy to hear that I went. Marissa is such an awesome person and really encourages me. She also says that she gets a lot out of working with me too. In fact, I'm going to be helping her with more mental health stuff because as I go to the groups at Heartland I can share more and more with her - papers, exercises and stuff like that! We are also going to discuss more about my budget not so much next month but January. We also talked a bit about the coming new year and things I might want to work on achieving  - one of which is getting back on my protein shakes and get back to working on myself again. That's the main one! :-) There are a couple more, but that's the top one on my mind. But she set me in a good mood. 

After that, I took my mom to Walmart so she could do some shopping. I had to go slow. LOL! But I didn't mind. My mom was nice enough to buy me a steno pad that I can use for my budgeting. The one I was using disappeared. Literally. I checked everywhere and it was just gone. It sucked because now I am thinking I have left something off on my list of things to pay. But I'm sure I have everything. There's still that doubt though. She also got me some fabreeze which I have been using in my car. I need to get another one for my room. My mom also got me my Christmas present! Yeah, it kind of sucks in some ways, but you know, at least I get something I want and it fits. Not that it wouldn't 4X fits me perfect.

When I got home though, I was exhausted! I came in, grabbed a cup of coffee to perk me up . . . nope. I fell asleep! So I was basically asleep by 5:00pm. Was woken up at 7:00pm for some dinner - which was good! Then I went back to sleep after that. I woke up several times last night, but I slept until 8:30am. I did start perking up though! I got dressed, got water, gave Karissa treats, feed the fish . . . Then I went to my CBT group - which it's CBT/Coping skills together followed by Social Skills. I really don't need social skills, but I enjoy being social in that class. I still remembered most of the CBT, though the Arrow Technique I definitely needed a refresher. My happy level on a scale of 1 - 10 my first level was about a 7, which is pretty good. After the first group, I was up to an 8. 

When I came home after class I had a WONDERFUL surprise! My $50 check came in!! I needed that check earlier in the week, but since I had some fuel help I was able to take the money and use it toward Christmas! Yay! SO I went to the bank to cash the check, went to McDonald's to get a large Caramel Iced Coffee and somewhere between there I lost $10. I didn't know though, until I checked out and had to put more back than I wanted to. It turned into a very nice moment though. The woman behind me gave me a couple of bucks to at least get the hot chocolates I wanted. I got Peppermint Hot Cocoa mixes for gifts and the box of hot chocolate as gifts too. I still have a lot of get for Christmas, but I think I can do it this year and I LOVE giving to my friends and my mom.

But it was so nice to start on my Christmas shopping!! Totally awesome! I can't say much, but I got some big mugs that come with a spoon. I did also grab a $5 Christmas movie for myself - Eloise at Christmastime. It is such a cute movie! I can't wait to do the rest of my shopping! I love Christmastime! It's the best time of the year! For me anyway! It makes me even happier to actually be able to give gifts. There were so many years I just couldn't. So far a good opening for the Holidays! Yay!!

Now tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I'll be going to my mother's. On Friday Jason, Susan, myself, the kids and a couple other friends are getting together for another Thanksgiving. THAT is the one I REALLY look forward too! Now I just have to remember to take pix!!! :-)

Happy Happy!!

In this case it is a Happy Happy day! I woke up today and I really feel back to my old self, which is a wonderful thing! Yesterday I was okay, but super, super tired. Today, I'm great! I guess whatever was going on with me has finally run its course. At least I hope so! I could barely function yesterday and get things done. Today, I did a lot baking (raspberry muffins and corn bread), I also took care of the kitties! I managed to work on almost all my Facebook pages and a few groups. I have managed to get a bit done so I am happy with myself!

My mind isn't functioning completely. My writing is kind of at a stand still at the moment, but that will change as it always does. All I know is today was definitely a good one! I also called my mom and checked in with her to see how she was doing. She's so tired and it so worries me. I know things are going to come to an end sooner rather than later, but I want her to be okay. I do get a little sad that I'm the one that says, "I love you." She never says it to me first, like it's an after thought to say it because I did. I try not to take it personally. I don't think my mom has the empathy to feel for other people. It's just how she is. I have accepted the fact that she will never love me the way I need to be loved. In fact, she has her own dysfunctions of her own. She won't admit it, but I know it. I lived with her most of my life.

Anyway, other than that, I called Jordan too. I checked in with him and made sure he had taken his medication. Cass took hers before school. I think it might b working. Even Jason said she seemed to be in a better mood lately. At least it doesn't seem to be making her worse! That's always what you worry about with teens and anti-depressants. But so far so good!

Cassi's therapist from her school called me to check in and see how I was doing. That was nice of her. She also wants to set up another family session which is great! For Cassi and I it draws us closer together. I'm supposed to work on a few things to get us to move on, but it's really difficult. I have no extra money, which means no money for a deposit anyway. I don't make enough to live anywhere yet and pay bills too. I'm waiting for Section 8, but that could be another year to three years. That sucks. But we'll see. I also need to have a talk with Jason and Susan about their attempts to parent her, which backfires for them and for me. I end up  having to run interference and try not to upset anyone. I feel like I'm back where I was with my mom. I had to give my mom more respect because she was my mom, but I felt so caught n the middle and that's how I feel now. Maybe I'll talk to Teela and see f she can help me with some pointers on how to approach the subject. I never know how Jason or Susan will react and I don't want any crap. I mean, there are things that have to be rules they put in place like no one spending the night during the week and such as that, but it's up to me to decide what I think is okay for my daughter to do, not them. I mean, sometimes they help me, but a lot of times I feel in the middle and it really just upsets me and makes me feel like I have to placate everyone. I need it to just be me dealing with things with Cassi unless it effects them. Guess we'll see what happens.

Anyway, I suppose that's it for now! Surprisingly enough I managed to get this written tonight! I wasn't too tired! LOL! Yay!! But think I'm going to get more water, maybe check out a couple more things, take my night meds and hit the hay. I have to wake up around 6:20am. Goodnight!

A New Day A New View

Though I could delete my previous post, I won't. But it's irrelevant. I woke up this morning pretty calm and happy. I also thought about it and realized if Denise wants to be that petty I'm not going to stop her. People will read her blog and they will see for themselves what kind of person she is. I don't make up lies where she does. But is it really worth going through the trouble of getting a lawyer? I thought about it and it's just not and I do this before even checking a single lawyer out. I am just tired of the bull crap. The last time I contacted her was back in JULY and I was just telling her that I was happy and proud of her about her book. Before that, a year ago or maybe a little less or a little more, I reached out an olive branch to her. Both of my contacts with her were positive, but she wants to make it seem like I'm coming after. The thing is, I can even provide copies of what I wrote. But when it comes down to it, it really just doesn't matter. I am really done. From here on out, it's over for me. I won't even talk about her unless something comes up, but I really see why God wanted that door shut. Supposedly I'm the cause of her blood clots in her body now because I might show up to her place! 1) I wouldn't just show up somewhere I'm not welcome. WHY would I EVEN consider a stupid move like that. 2) I would not show up to a book signing of hers even if or when she has one. I am not the confrontational type. But if she's still obsessing over me just because I tried to reach out in friendship and I was rejected, why would I even care about her anymore? 

So I have deleted everything that might make me curious about her off my computer. I am really sick and tired of her crap. If she still has to obsess over me after all this time, she isn't busy enough with her writing. And you'd think she would be looking more toward the future instead of returning to the past. Something is truly wrong with someone that truly obsesses about someone else and who is try to ruin their life because they won't move on. I have done nothing to warrant this craziness. So if anyone is truly doing damage to anyone it's the other way around. The difference is I am fully washing my hands of her.

Good bye, Denise. So stop stalking me also.

Very Weary Tonight

I am soooooo tired! Not like I couldn't have done this earlier in the evening, but I got caught up with the new page I created on Facebook. It's about holidays through the year. I want to post quotes, pix, recipes and even crafts for kids. I just hope that I stick with it. It's fun and though it's not a holiday I have started with Back-To-School stuff and apple stuff. October will be pumpkins, Jack-o-lanterns, Halloween stuffs. And of course, November is turkeys, pumpkins, thanksgiving and all that. And without surprise, I'm going nuts right after Thanksgiving as we gear up for Christmas!! I love Christmas!! Then it will be New Years and all the other holidays to celebrate! 

Before that, I was doing laundry with Jordan's help. He insisted on getting me a cake for my birthday. I got a Neapolitan cake and it's GOOD! He liked it too! But it was a LONG day of laundry at mom's. Too long really. But I got a lot done online for things I wanted to accomplish. I even got a letter to William (a prisoner) done finally!! Seemed to take me forever. But my mind has been going every which way lately. Just one distraction after another. Not getting enough sleep being an issue. But yesterday, I got up easy enough. I picked up Jordan. Cassi had her friend Josh come over and the three of them with Susan moved the furniture around in Cassi's corner. It looks so much better now and the snakes' tank has a permanent place. Now we just need to get the same motivation to turn the living room around! Hopefully it will work by Christmas. We all want a Christmas tree and we need a place to put it! So I'll maybe bug Susan a bit on it and see what happens. ;-)

Jordan got to spend the night over, which worked out well. Cassi ended up spending the night at a friend's house so Jordan could use her bed. It was nice having him here. It's too bad there just isn't enough room, but there's barely enough room here for Cassi and I! I can't wait until he can get a better place to live.

Anyway, tomorrow is Cassi's first day of the new school year at a brand new school literally!! The school was built over the summer! But she has a ride to and from on the school bus!! Which for me is awesome!! I will save on fuel big time! And I just want this new school year to be a great one! She's already nervous and I feel for her. She wanted me to take her to school tomorrow for the first day, but unfortunately I can't. But I know she'll be okay once she gets there! Plus she'll always have someone around to talk to. That should help a lot and she'll be with more kids that will understand her and her issues. There will be kids like her! 

Well, it's after midnight which makes it Officially September 3rd. It sucks because I want to get up at 6:30am for Cassi to try to make the morning better if I can. It's going to be tough! I am going to be so tired tomorrow! But I'm going to keep at it. I will just get up and get going.

Anyway, I need to take my night meds, but my stomach is still full from my chicken sandwich. I have no idea how long I will need to wait to take them. If I take them on a full stomach I'll throw them up plus stomach contents. I would rather not do that! LOL! But I do need to take them. Of course, skipping one night wouldn't be the end of the world, but it wouldn't exactly help either!

Okay, I am REALLY tired! I feel like I am starting to ramble! Ah well. Just means I need to get to sleep soon! Looks like I might be going to sleep without meds after all!

  

A Tad Bit Exhausted

What can I say? I went to sleep late and I woke up early! I was awake until about 12:20am. I usually don't stay up that late and I thought maybe I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I drifted off. But then I woke up around 6:30am and just couldn't go back to sleep. I was tired though, but I just kept working on my To Do List. I got a lot of it done early - took my morning meds, fed the Betta fish, gave Karissa treats . . . When it was time I let Jordan know it was time to take his med. Then I started a letter to one of my prisoner friends. I couldn't really work on my story though. Being tired like this creates problems for me. I just can't seem to concentrate. It's kind of why I didn't get far with my letter either. Putting those words together is challenging. LOL! At least like this! Tomorrow my goal is to finish the letter and get it out in the mail, but I have to get sleep tonight! I think I'll be going to sleep early tonight. That would solve everything! Well, the writing part of things anyway! ;-)

I made dinner tonight. I cooked my Taco Rice Dinner. The rice had too much liquid left, but it didn't take away any of the taste! It was delicious served in soft tortillas with shredded cheese and sour cream! It is so simple to make! I might post the recipe. I mean, literally, it doesn't get much easier. Okay, I'll post the recipe now.

Taco Rice Dinner

2 pkgs of Taco Rice sides

1 lb ground turkey

1 packet Taco Seasoning

Tortillas

Fiesta Shredded cheese blend

Sour Cream

Anything else you want to use as a topping

Prepare rice according to pkg directions. I use the microwave directions. While that's cooking, cook your ground turkey - can spice with garlic powder, black pepper and maybe a little salt. Don't drain because you don't have to. Add the taco seasoning to the cooked turkey and mix in well. 

Once the rice is done, add the ground turkey to it and mix together. Serve in tortillas and top with the cheese and sour cream or anything else you might want to add.

Last thing, enjoy! It generally serves 4-6 people I think. 

Anyway, it's a hit around here. It makes me happy to be able to cook. I didn't really feel up to it tonight, but it was just so easy. So I threw it together and though there was a little too much liquid in the rice, it didn't take away any of the flavor! :-) It's nice to be able to cook easy but yummy dinners. I want to start getting into using the crock pot more too!

What else can I say? Not much, I guess! LOL! I am just freakin' tired. Think I'm going to take a quick bath, take my night meds and go to sleep . . . I think sleep will be good tonight and I look forward to tomorrow. It's MY birthday! Not that there's anything planned, but it will just be a good day. I know it will!

That's it for this note from my insane mind! We'll see how sane I'll be tomorrow! ;-)

Surgery In the Morning

 

Well, I have surgery in the morning. Today I went to my pre-Op appointment. Found out my surgery is for 7:15am. I have to be at the hospital by 5:15am. And before that I have to shower and use this surgical scrub on my front torso. I am not looking forward to that. I mean, I've got to wake up at 3:45am. But at least it's almost here and tomorrow it will be over.

I took ativan so I'm kind of relaxed. But I have some anxiety left. I need to finish packing. I think I might take a little more of the ativan because I might be able to actually get some sleep! The more I can sleep the better.

Well, if I feel up to this, I'm going to write here tomorrow night to talk about after surgery, but we'll see what happens.

Anyway, my short recap of my day. And I took milk of magnesia and NOTHING has happened. Go figure. For now it's time to sleep, I think.

Spent Way Too Much Money . . .



Wow I have spent so much money in three days! A lot of it is stuff I wanted, but also stuff I needed. Some of the stuff I wanted were DVDs from the Blockbuster that is closing near me. I spent just over $60 and got about 10 DVDs. Got some I haven't seen yet and then some that I just love. I also went to Catherine's and bought 2 swim suits and a set of Pajamas. The swim suits were originally over a hundred dollars a piece!! Thank god everything was 40% off! So my total ended up being about $160 I think. I also went to Walmart where I got "The Glades" Season 1 and "Commando" which I found in the $5 bin. That bin is awesome! I also bought two harlequins because they were Sheik related AND I got milk for me. That was just last night.

Then we went today. I picked up "Hawaii Five-0" Season 1 which they didn't have at Best Buy. Literally they didn't have ANYTHING I was looking for! I was so irritated!! But before that I got a new bed!! It's awesome with a pillow top! I can't wait to sleep on it though I won't be able to until tomorrow night.

Anyway, back to Walmart. Not only did I get that series, I can't remember what else I got! LOL! I can't think at the moment. But I don't think I bought too much. But when I got home my mom reminded me that I needed to get new towels for the gym. I also needed better shampoo and conditioner so on our way to house/dog/cat/guinea pig sit we stopped at Walmart again!! This time we went upstairs where electronics, and I ended up with one more DVD - "Australia" for $10. Love that movie! But on the way to towels I saw pillows on sale!!! So I grabbed two of them. They were about $4 apiece. Can't beat that for BIG pillows. I figured I needed them to go with the new bed. My old pillows are flat and they suck. Then we got to the towels and Cassie found me a BIG purple towel for my body - It doesn't go all the way around, but it's good for now. Then she found me a turquoise towel for my hair. I also ended up getting Cassie the next book in the series she's reading. I also got a leopard print fleece blanket. That wasn't it though. I also got Karissa some treats, conditioner and shampoo for me and then some for Cassie. We also got hair color and I got Cassie a St. Patty's Day shirt.

Now I remember what I bought earlier in the day - a reem of printer paper, mechanical pencils for cassie AND lead for them. I got me some colored markers. My other set got screwed up. Then I got my pens that I like. I even got Cassie a flannel shirt from the clearance rack AND a beenie hat.

Needless to say I have gone to Walmart a lot for two days and spent A LOT of money!! But I did get some stuff I needed.

It was pretty cool though. When we got to Jason and Susan's Cassie trimmed my hair and colored it for me. A nice medium auburn. Then Cassie colored her own hair - BLONDE! Very blond!! It looks good. Jordan just watched TV. Now that's what I'm doing. I'm very tired though. I watched some TV myself. I watched about half of "Star Trek" the latest movie. Then I watched "Restaurant: Impossible." Now it's "Iron Chef America." But what's sad is that I'm so tired and I can't sleep. Jordan is in the same boat, but for him, the new couches Jason and Susan have isn't comfortable to him. It sucks. He's going to be tired tomorrow and so am I. I did take my meds tonight. I think I forgot them this morning. I have forgotten the morning meds more than usual lately. I need to get back on track big time.

Anyway, I guess that's is. I need to try to sleep. We'll see what happens.

Day 52 - Slept All Day Literally!

I literally slept all day. I made the mistake of taking a muscle relaxant last night and it knocked my ass out! I didn't even go to the gym. I couldn't keep my eyes open. In fact, I slept until almost 4:30pm! I didn't bother to get dressed. I just grabbed my sweater, my wallet, my book "Beautiful Creatures," and my keys. After all, therapy was at 5:00pm. I did stop at McDonald's for a diet Dr. Pepper. I had to have something. I also took my multi vitamin and medication before I left as well.

Therapy went well. I filled in Dr. Tess about all the good things going on. He agreed that it should keep me positive. I need to make sure that I go to the gym tomorrow and that I don't forget my doctor's appointment at 3:00pm. But for the first time in a long time some really good things have happened. The only thing better would be finding out that I got Section 8! But I'm happy with what I have been given to me. The weight loss and the SSI. And maybe at the end of the year I'll find out that my book will be published. At least I hope so! I am hoping this is my year! So far so good.

Anyway, tonight I watched my "Ghost Hunters" and "Face/Off." I also was on Cafemom for a long time. I added posts to "Plus Sized Moms" because there is a game to post as many posts as you can. I've posted about 7 tonight I think. Plus I worked on my "Holiday Dreaming." I did a little bit on Facebook as myself and as Karissa. I uploaded a Pix of Karissa's treats. LOL! I have to admit that I also checked out Denise's Timeline. She put on a bunch of stuff. That's where I got the idea to put Cassie and Jordan's birthdays on the timeline. She went to her different places she's lived too. I would maybe do that for here, but there was really no other place I would want to put down. I don't exactly remember dates anyway when it comes to our moves. But I'll try to think of other things to put on the timeline. Maybe when I met friends or ex friends. We'll see what happens.

Guess that's it. It's after midnight and I need to get up early to get Cassie up for school. And tomorrow is just going to be another great day. I get my money tomorrow too! At least it's been coming on the 2nd for awhile now. So I'll get to go shopping tomorrow too! I just have to make a list.

Day 40 - Emotional Me

For most of the day I've actually been feeling okay. In fact, I felt pretty good. But as the night has worn on my mood has shifted to something darker. It's like an under current of anxiety. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm tired. I hate being tired all the time. And I am. But today was good. That's what I don't get.

I woke up Cassie to get her to school, but she was so tired from being upset last night that I let her sleep another hour. Then I took her to school. I also got myself a protein shake for breakfast. After that, I went back to sleep and slept until about 1:00pm. I could have slept later if I'd let myself. But I got up, got my protein shake for lunch and waited to get the computer from Jordan. 

Karissa went outside and then came back in 5 minutes later. LOL! She did that twice. The second time she stayed out a bit longer but not by much. I did take a few pix of her inside and I tried to get a pic of her outside but that didn't work out so well. She wouldn't sit still!

Anyway, I got my money from Jason and Susan. They owe me another $20 and I'll get that Tuesday. I think I'm going to use that for either getting "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" or get "Vanish" by Tess Gerritsen. Later they brought Cassie over so that she could make her bed. What sucked was that she had a dental appointment for today only to find out that she can't see the dentist until April. So it was a waste of time and of gas for Jason and Susan. Oh, good news, seems they might be keeping Rena after all. I hope so. But poor Susan and Jason. They had so much running around to do. Jason estimates that they drove 80 miles today.

Once I had the computer back from Jordan, and did a couple of things, but I knew I had to get the money order for my car insurance. I also needed to get milk and bread. I didn't get cereal though. Turns out we're out. Jordan just lives off it, it seems. While I went to Albertson's I was starving too. Not a good combo. I grabbed a vitamin water and started looking at different snacks. EVERYTHING was so outrageous when it came to calories. Twinkies were like 300 calories! Needless to say I did NOT get Twinkies. Eventually I found Special K Fruit Crisps. They are 100 calorie packs! As I got the milk and bread I also grabbed a Woman's World before I checked out. Once out in the car I had to eat something so I tried the blueberry fruit crisps and they were pretty good. It kept me filled until dinner. In fact, I'm only now starting to get hungry again. I'll have a snack then go to sleep.

My mom gave me some of her salmon tonight for dinner with tilapia. It was good. Of course, I love salmon. After that, I got back online. I posted in Cafemom in "Holiday Dreaming" and of course, "I'm not fat! I'm Fluffy!" I was going to post elsewhere, but I was pretty drained after doing everything I needed to do. I also posted pix of Karissa on Facebook on her account and page. Through doing all of that, I also watched "River Monsters," "Chuck," which probably caused my anxiety to go up a little. Then I watched "Brad Meltzer's Decoded," where they were researching the Alaska Devil's triangle. It was pretty creepy. After that was "Merlin." That one made me very sad. Not just because Uther died, but because of how he died. As I finish this I'm watching "Being Human." It was this past Monday's premiere. It was good. Sally goes to her High School Reunion, though it makes her sad at the end when the most shallow girl at the school who just died gets her door. Aiden ends up being placed as Second in Command of Boston and he's supposed to ensure that Mother's daughter succeeds in bringing Boston under control. Only Mother wants Josh dead. And Nora . . . well, Josh isn't the only one who is wolfing out this time. I think she saves Josh's life. Good episode.

Anyway, I think I'm done. I want to sleep. Definitely take some ativan.

  

Day 38 - I feel the Depression Coming Back

I've been so good for so long that this is a set back for me. Plus, I'm tired. Of course, I started my period, but even that's strange. I'm just staining. The last few days I have just been too tired to even write here. I am trying my best to stay on track, but this has made me kind of see things negatively. Like I don't know if I'm really losing weight because I haven't been weighed. But then I'm afraid to get weighed to find out I haven't been losing which is crazy. I have to be losing weight. Of course, I'm not going to the gym for a few days because of my period. Plus, part of me just doesn't want to go. Maybe the rashes are just getting to me too. I want to lose the weight and I'm doing what I can, but I just feel like it's all for naught. It's probably just the depression talking. And it didn't help that Jason flipped out about Romeo going after Rena and scaring her. I tried to reason with him, but that was a no go. He tells Cassie she needs to decide who she wants to keep. I didn't think it was necessary. Cassie got upset and did a lot of crying. She said she only feels safe when she's with me. Not the house, of course, but with me. I don't yell at her. I don't constantly judge her. I don't flip out constantly. I think she's to the point (at least today) of wanting to come back home. Then Jason was mad at me because Cassie read what he was texting me over my shoulder. I mean, come on, he said he was going to tell her himself and then he gets made at me. What a wimp. He just wanted to vent to me and then not deal with Cassie. I half expected him to tell me to tell her anyway, but then again, it could be my hormones whacking out and making me read things that aren't there.

I went to therapy and I talked about the depression that was setting in and about the whole fiasco with Jason. I think what ticked me off the most is the fact that I know a lot about animals. It's instinctive. I grew up with animals. Anyway, I had tossed out a couple ideas to help them out and he just shot them down. So did Susan and it's sad because it would have worked. I don't think this is over yet. There might be more issues with Rena and Romeo, but I guess all we can do is see what happens. 

When Cassie and I got home from therapy we had to grab frozen dinners because my mom thought we were going over to Jason and Susan's for dinner. She didn't realize I'd gone to therapy. No big deal. I had Cassie grab us frozen Lean Cusine's. Cassie got a Baja Quesadilla which ended up not very good. I had a Thai inspired chicken which was awesome! Unfortunately I have heartburn now, but it was worth it. I'll just have to make sure I take the medication BEFORE I have that. 

I have barely gotten online at all. I just haven't wanted to and I've just been so tired all the time. But I did check into Cafemom and on the group "Just Siggies" I got my first siggy!! It's awesome! It has tigers and a very sexy brunette. Works for me! And I'm excited about it so that was nice. I made sure I thanked her. Then I just posted in two of my groups that I was sorry for my absense that I would be back either tomorrow or Friday.

It was also nice to have Cassie with me, but I wish she hadn't been so upset. I got her to bed and I stayed out with her until she fell asleep. It's so freakin cold!! And colder out there. I also watched or half-watched "Ghost Hunters" and then the new "Face/Off." It was good, but as soon as I'm done here, I'm going to set my alarm and go to sleep under the covers.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

Day 31 - Not Great But Better

I was really depressed when I first woke up. I decided to not go to water aerobics and went back to sleep. I didn't wake up until after 1:00pm. I did decide to go to the night class. But I really had a hard time today dealing with Cassie. I even got a call from Cassie's therapist at the school. She actually wanted to have a family counseling session with my mom! Yeah RIGHT! I explained to her how that was a bad idea and what kind of person my mother is. She was sweet and talked to me for 30 minutes. After that,  things seemed to calm down. I watched "Larry the Cable Guy's Only In America" since it was a marathon. Then around 5:00pm I started getting ready for the gym. I also decided that I was going to get into my PJs after the class. I wasn't much up for changing, coming home and changing again. It made more sense to me to change into my Pjs. 

Anyway, before Susan came to get me, I also typed up a survey on Bzoink! I ended up having 104 questions I think! Between last night and today I came up with good questions. One person took it and gave me five stars for it!! That was cool. I hope more people take it.

Cassie was starting to be a little brat again over texting, but when Susan came to get me, she apologized to me in the car. That made me feel better. Cassie decided she wanted to come to the water aerobics class with us and she did REALLY good! She got through the whole class without trouble. Last time she didn't do so well. I guess Jen is just a really good teacher. I really hate how itchy I am at the moment though and the rashes are definitely getting worse. Cassie is adamant that I go see the doctor so I'm thinking I might call and make an appointment. 

Once Cassie and I got home, I finally ate some dinner. It wasn't the best dinner I could have - sausage, quesadilla and carrots and celery cooked. Finished it off with an Oikos greek yogurt. Oh and another bummer. I found out I was using too many scoops in my protein shakes. It sucks. But tomorrow it gets fixed. I kind of don't want to get weighed now for a couple more weeks. I want a chance to lose more weight first. I really have to get back on track with my protein shakes and simple dinners. I'm winging it too often lately.

Anyway, I am so tired now. The work outs really just wipe me out. But I did get to watch the season premiere of "Ghost Hunters" and "Face/Off." Both episodes were awesome. For "Face/Off" they had to re-imagine characters from "The Wizard of Oz." It was girls against boys. Girls WON!! :-D It's always sad to see someone go home though.

Now I think it's time for me to go to bed. It's going to be an early morning. Got to get Cassie to school. Then there's tomorrow morning's water aerobics. So tired . . . Got to get back on track with my meds too. I think I forgot to take them yesterday and I definitely forgot this morning. I also forgot all my vitamins. So tomorrow it's time to get back on track there too!

I will . . . now it's time for sleep.

Day 26 - Been so COLD!

I felt like I was moving through molasses again this morning. But I got up and got ready to go to the gym for water aerobics with Susan. I was wearing the swimming sweater that woman gave me which probably helped somewhat. But the water was freezing!! And to make matters worse, the spa is out of Order so after the aerobics freezing to death, I took a shower, but the water pressure is so bad I couldn't get warm at all. It sucks to be that cold. Then once I got home, all I wanted was to curl up under the covers. I did and out on the "Merlin" Marathon on Syfy. I had to turn the volume down pretty low though because it was keeping me awake and I wanted to go to sleep and I did sleep. I slept for a couple of hours. Then when I did wake up, I didn't want to get out from under the blankets. I did for a little bit when Cassie and Jason came over with Rena. Well, Cassie had to clean up her space. Then when Rena came in she was just all over the place and wanting to be loved on. She is such a sweetie! Jason is worried about my rashes. Susan too and I have to say I've been thinking about going back to the doctor seeing if there is ANYTHING that can be done.

After they left though, I went back under the covers for awhile. Tim came over to drop Taylor off. And George came over so the boys have been hanging out. I ended up going after burgers for the boys and I got myself a Caeser salad and a diet Dr. Pepper. We ate when I came back and then after that I returned to my room, put "Merlin" back on. I also got on cafemom. I had to post some stuff in "Holiday Dreaming" and "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" Nicole called and I put cream on most of my rashes as we talked, but I was still cold. I'm cold now and I have my blanket wrapped around me. I'm also tired. I hope I sleep good tonight. Maybe by morning I'll feel warm.

Anyway, I finished reading "Body Double" last night. I couldn't put it down. But I wanted more. I have to get "Vanish" next month. Jane probably would have had her baby already or it will have her having the baby. There might be more about Maura's bio mom too, though I doubt that.

Well, I guess that's it. Today I have done okay on my eating. I just need to see how much I weigh eventually. But for now I'm going to try to go to sleep buried under the covers.

Day 21 - New Year's Day!

I didn't wake up early. In fact, my mom and Jordan woke me up with their fighting. Jordan cussed at her which wasn't right, but I was so tired, I just couldn't say anything. In fact, I don't remember what it was about or anything. I just couldn't stay awake after having trouble sleep last night because of restless legs. That sucked. I hate restless legs. Makes me get very frustrated and cry.

When I finally did wake up, I just kind of stayed in my room for awhile. I put on the TV - "River Monsters" and then a marathon of "Finding Bigfoot." I cleaned up my room a little bit too. Cleared off a lot of the bed off. There's stuff still on it, but not like it was. I got Jordan to do two more loads of laundry for me today. I picked up trash. I got all the yarn and my crochet project put in a bag. Not sure where to put it after that though, so that's still on the bed. I also have several hangers on the bed, but I also got clothes hung up. Jordan was kind enough to do that for me and to put the trash I had gathered into my trash bag. Eventually I went out to get a protein shake. Drank that down. Grabbed my vitamins. Went back to my room and took them and my morning meds.

Eventually, I got online and started playing on Cafemom. I didn't do anything with Holiday Dreaming, but I posted a few things on "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" I need to pick a new pic of Karissa for the group. Maybe I'll see if I can't get some hearts behind her or something for Valentine's Day which will be here before you know it too. I hope it doesn't take me that long to lose the 50 lbs. I'd like to get that surgery as soon as possible. But I don't think I'm losing weight that fast. I'm going to have to really cut down everything. I already do two meal replacements a day. Now I need to work on down-sizing my dinner and not eating much at night. Mostly I've been eating fruit. If I can stick with fruit at night I might be okay. 

And speaking of food, my mom made a fantastic steak dinner! I know I ate too much, but it was good. And it wasn't just steak. We had hashbrowns, corn and green beans. It was all good. Later I had a small piece of pumpkin pie. Man I want another piece. But I'll be good. However, I am kind of hungry again so I'll have to figure out something. My mom said there was an orange in the kitchen so I'll go look.

Anyway, I played on Facebook too and on Tumblr. I added pix and a recipe to Facebook. Exchanged messages with Nicole. I even did some working out on my arms with my new weights. I also watched "Cupcake Wars" and "Rachel and Guy's Celebrity Cook-off." Now I'm watching the season premiere of "Finding Bigfoot." After that, I'm hoping to go to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be an early day. Back to the pool . . .

Day 15 - Percocet Daze But Still Swollen

I spent most of the day sleeping. I was so tired and the pain from the absess gets worse. So I just took percocet every four hours give or take and slept. I slept on and off until around 5:00pm.

Tim came over and talked to me a little bit about the absess and what I could try to do with it. I don't feel like messing with it the way he messes with things, but on the other hand I don't want to have to have it drained either. I saw Jordan get his lanced or drained and he went into shock afterwards. And if he can't tolerate the pain, I don't think I'd fair that much better. Anyway, the idea is to see if the antibiotics won't start working in another day or so. If not, then I guess I have to go back to the ER.

Well, after Tim left, I fixed myself a little plate of turkey with a tiny scoop of stuffing. I didn't bother with mashed potatoes or anything. I just heated what I had and ate it. When that was done I went and got the computer from Jordan and played on the computer for awhile. Though I didn't do that much. I watched two episodes of "Law and Order" and remembered what I didn't like about the show - an unsatifying ending. But I was waiting for the new "The Closer" episode and the new "Rizzoli and Isles" which was awesome! Gabriel came back and he and Jane got together! Unfortunately, Maura's mom was hit by a car pushing Maura out of the way. Then her birthfather showed up. At the end, he saved Maura only to have a shootout with Boston PD. Maura was beyond upset. I can't wait until next summer to see what happens.

Anyway, I have taken my night meds and some ativan as well. I'll be back asleep soon. At least I hope so. I really want more turkey though. And I didn't see any in the fridge. My mom must have it in her fridge. Not that I need more to eat. I also had three or four oranges and a bowl of yams and a glass of cider. Not to mention two rolls with butter. This has to be the last day I cheat. Tomorrow I have to get back on the wagon so I can lose the pounds. I should try to go to the gym in the morning. I have to do the water aerobics. I need to get back on track. 

But first sleep.

 

Slept Through the Second Half of Day 6

The morning and into the afternoon was crazy!! It involved a lot of waiting, driving and misdirection. And all on 2 hours of sleep.

I couldn't sleep Friday night. I couldn't breathe having a hard time with my nose being stuffy. The nose spray I use wasn't exactly working, which sucked. Then by the time I did drift to sleep, I had to get up two hours later to make sure I had enough time to get dressed, take my morning meds and make my protein shake. Jordan had George over to go with us in the morning so he could come to us this morning on the ticket buy. We had to be down at the sports arena early though it went random and we ended not in the best position to get tickets. By the time Cassie got to the window they were already on Terrace which wasn't good. But it turned out our ticket broker friends wanted whatever they could get. After all, it was for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They actually sent the kids through the line twice and Susan went through twice. I didn't, but I drove and I can't stand in line for too long. They really waited until the last minute to do the wristbands for the line up. Usually they had out wristband at like 8:00am. Then you don't go back until 9:30am and then they pick the start number and line everyone up. This time they gave us wrist bands at like 9:15am and lined us up at like ten to 10:00am. We didn't leave until after 10:40am and I had to get to this place to get a food basket. But I didn't know how to get there from the sports arena. I was really panicked because we were supposed to be there by 11:00am.

Well, let me say we didn't get there until almost noon, I think. First, I screw up on the 5. I was almost to National City before I realized that we were going the wrong way. So I had to turned around and I was a little freaked out, not sure there was an entrance to the other way. But there was and I found my way to the 94. Once I go the off-ramp that I needed, I finally pulled into a gas station. I was down to 18 miles to empty. I think I freaked the kids out a little bit. LOL! But I know how far I can push my car. I paid a rather high price though, but that's how it went. And I wasn't done with going the wrong way. I went way down the street in the opposite way that I needed. It took me awhile to turn around. But once we were going the right way, all was fine and we found it no problem. It was just trying to sort out which way. However, I know I scared the kids with some of the bone-headed stunts I pulled while driving. Usually I'm a pretty good driver, but between the lack of sleep and my rising panic I almost ran some red lights and had to make a few leaps to get where I needed to go. I'm just glad it all worked out and that we FINALLY got where we needed to go. What's cool is we actually got a little turkey! :-)

After that, I was happy to be headed back to the area of town I know. We stopped at McDonald's so the kids could eat. We sent Jordan and George in to order. I got a chicken caesar salad. The boys got combos and Cassie just wanted a McDouble. It all worked out well.

After eating, I took the boys home then took Cassie to the Vans Outlet store so she could spend her newly aquired money. I still have $18. The kids each got $20 and I got $30. I had some money left from before, but $20 went right into the tank and now I need more fuel after that fiasco.

At the outlet store, Cassie used her $40 - she had $20 from something else - she found shoes in the clearance table. She got two pairs along with two pairs of black socks. She was very happy about them because they were high-tops. I'm not thrilled with one of them because I think it's kind of ugly. But you know, she's happy with it and that's what matters.

From there, I took her over to her friend Katie Kelly's stepmom's house. They were having her father's funeral and Cassie wanted to be there with them. She cried a lot of tears for him too. He was a good guy. But I'll tell you, I was never so happy than to be driving home. I needed the sleep badly and no sooner had I got home than I laid down. My nose was still stuffy, but I was so tired. I drifted in and out of sleep until dinner. I went out and ate dinner which was sausage, baked potato and green beans. I filled up a lot on green beans. And when I went back to my room, I crashed out.

Jordan woke me about 12:30am wanting me to take him to Jack in the Box. I was kind of awake so I agreed. He also got me a diet Dr. Pepper from McDonalds. I'm not supposed to have soda anymore, but I figured as long as I didn't do it often, I could get away with it. After all, there's no calories in it. But when I got home I went back to sleep and didn't really get up until 9:30am. I slept a lot! Anyway, that was my ordeal yesterday I'll talk about today later. :-D

Day 3 - So Far So Good!

I woke up and took Cassie to school, but when I got home I went back to sleep. I just didn't have the energy to do much else. So I went to sleep. Then suddenly I get woken up by a voice outside my window! It was Jason! LOL! He and I talked for awhile. My mom actually made him breakfast which was nice of her and he appreciated it. Jason kind of had to talk me into taking my shake because I wasn't hungry yet. I guess I just need to put myself on a schedule so that's what I'm going to try to work on. Well, maybe not until next week . . . We'll see. After that Jason talked me into putting in the Disc I got from the Bariatric center. It has all the info on it. I ended up not reading it all. In fact, Jason didn't have enough of an attention span to do it either! LOL!

Susan picked Cassie up from school early but we told my mom that it was a half day to avoid bitching and moaning. Cassie came in to get Jason and to give me a hug and kiss. Plus to grab a couple of things too. 

After they left my mom wanted to go get her hair permed. We waited for a bit then around 1:30pm I took her up to Fantastic Sam's and while she was there, I went to Walmart. I needed to get vitamins and more protein powder. Then my mom wanted decaf coffee and I needed to get more non-fat milk. I even got a movie for my stocking! After I did the little bit of shopping and looking around, I went to McDonald's and bought the large drink cup, but instead of soda I filled it with water. I must have drank at least 3 cups full and that cup isn't small! Then a woman with a baby sat at the table for a little bit. Then another woman sat down and was determined to talk to me while I was trying to read more of "A Christmas to Remember." She was nice enough and I talked with her. She gave me her phone number, but not sure I'll call her. I'm so bad at calling people anyway. 

Finally my mom showed up. We did a little more shopping and after we checked out, we went back to McDonald's and got chicken Caeser salad and a small fries. I didn't eat much of the fries, but the salad was good! But by the time we got out to the car my back was ripped and it was hard for me to put the bags in the trunk. It was a good thing Jordan came out of the house to meet us. He had to take the bags in and put the stuff away by himself. He wasn't happy about it, but he's not a baby either. He is perfectly capable. I went to my room and rested. I then got online and went to Cafemom. Some bitch joined my "Christmas Dreaming" group just to spam it with links and then left. That pissed me off. She didn't even pay attention to where she posted stuff and I had to take a lot of time to move or delete posts. Ugh!! Then I made it a point to add more posts so that hers don't come up easily.

Anyway, I did work on "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" a little bit. I checked out other groups, but everyone seems pretty quiet at the moment. So then I also did a search to see what Denise might have been up to and found out she is signed onto this one site and I joined just to join. I will probably will never use it, but it's just something else to check on every now and again.

Well, I am tired. I think I'm going to watch the new "Brad Melzer's Decoded" and then go to sleep. Maybe sooner. I really am exhausted. I did finally have another protein shake for dinner. I think it'll keep me full for awhile. If nothing else, I'll be full when I fall asleep. :-) That's the best I can ask for! LOL!

Tomorrow there is nothing on the schedule that I know of so we'll see how it goes. I just have to remember there's a ticket buy Saturday morning. I can use the money. I might be able to get another book for myself. I wish I had another $50 though. I would get Jordan this Assassin's Creed movie and then get Cassie the third book to her one series. Ah well . . . shit happens. But I think Christmas is going to be pretty good anyway! :-)

That's it. I'm laying down.



Day 2

Day two has been unproductive really. I was going to go to the gym, but I just wasn't feeling it and I went back to sleep. When I woke up, I drank a smoothy my mom made only to find out that she hadn't put protein powder in it so I had a protein shake. Then I went back to my room.

Cassie called me from school wanting me to pick her up. I didn't pick her up because I felt she needed to stay. Susan thought the same thing, so I ended up talking to one of the ladies in the office about getting Cassie a place to be alone for a little bit or something and they said no problem. They said they were going to try to get the counselor to talk with her. I just felt so bad because she was grieving Katie Kelly and Lauren's dad's death. It just breaks my heart.

Anyway, I was on the computer for a little bit, but I was so tired, I just kind of laid down with the "Dirty Jobs" marathon on. I didn't get up until my mom called out dinner. I had a piece of crusted tilapia, fried zucchini, only I think she baked it. It was still good so . . . Then she also made broccoli. I had a good helping of the broccoli and three strips of zucchini. After dinner, I continued to watch "Dirty Jobs." An hour or so later Jordan gave me my laptop and so I started playing on Cafemom. I replied to what I could. Added some stuff to my groups. Then Cassie came home. Wasn't sure she was coming home tonight. Then she wanted me to stay out in the other room with her so I microwaved some popcorn and turned on "Dirty Jobs." The new episode was coming on. I LOVE this show and was glad to have a new season start. While I watched the show Cassie read her book. :-) She spent the whole time reading and she was still reading when I left her. I also had a caramel mousse tempation.

I went back to my room and turned on "Chopped" but Jordan came in and Nicole called so I pretty much missed it. LOL! No big deal. I did eat two oranges so that's it for the night. I think I did okay on my eating. I don't think I went over. But I have to admit I've been a little depressed today. I'm not sure if it's just Cassie's grief which I feel acutely. I don't think it's the change in my eating. Could be an early start to PMS, but I don't think so either. I don't know. All I can do is hope that I feel less depressed tomorrow, though I don't know about that. 

Now all I need to do is take my meds and try to go back to sleep. 

 

A Headache Almost Ruined the Day

Today was pretty good though I didn't want to wake up. Then when I did I had a massive headache. I didn't wake up until almost 2:00pm. I was supposed to be over to Jason and Susan's between 1:00pm-2:00pm. THEN I wake up to find out I had melted chocolate all over my PJ shirt, my stuffed bunny and my bear. I washed off my shirt, but not the stuffies yet. That's next I guess. Not sure how I'm going to do it. But I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Anyway, I got dressed and put on make-up. Jordan called Susan to make sure it was okay if George came with us, which was fine. But I only took 600 mg of ibuprofen which was a mistake. I had to take 600 mg more at Jason and Susan's. But the headache just didn't want to go away. Instead Susan had to make the dishes that I normally do - my pumpkin spice cream cheese pie and my double stuffed potatoes though she didn't make them the way I do. They still tasted good. :-) I felt better after I ate so that might have been part of it. Plus, I slept so long that sometimes that causes headaches.

George and Jordan played some war game on George's DS. They stayed outside most of the time. Then Paige was there with Cassie. Paige was curling her hair. I also got to hold Zippy for a bit. He is so cute. I got him to chorttle a lot. :-) And Duana came over. She is down to a size 18! I just hope that will be me one day. I think it will be. It's just going to take awhile. She ended up throwing up once though. She ate too fast. Plus she burped a lot. She also drank soda, which I am not going to do. Tomorrow is my last pig out day and then it's the straight and narrow. I gave Jordan most of my Christmas that would have gone into my stocking. I ate some of it. I have also drank about two Jones sodas. I'm going to drink the rest tomorrow. I might as well enjoy them on my last day. I'm sure I've put on 5 more pounds this weekend, but they'll come off. And Susan is going to go to the gym with me starting Monday. I need to find my old ratty swimsuit!

Well, tonight I played on Cafemom a bit, but I have been kinda depressed tonight. I have also had a hard time concentrating. Not sure why. I also watched "A Nanny for Christmas" and another movie I think was called "Home for the Holidays." The second movie was really on a darker note, but it all ended happy.

Now I'm trying to relax and go to sleep. I'm tired, but not sure that's enough. So often it's not. Tomorrow maybe I'll catch up on cafemom if I can concentrate. Maybe I'll also read more of that Christmas romance book and/or work on my fan fiction. I really need to finish it.

Anyway, I guess that's it. Time to call it a night.

Good Busy Day

I am exhausted. Last night as tired as I was I didn't sleep. Surprise, surprise, right? LOL! So I had taken two more ativan. I had a total of three which is one more than I'm supposed to have and then a baclofen. It did end up knocking me out. I managed to get up and get Cassie to school. Actually, she came into the room ready for school before I even woke up. When I dropped her off at school I always tell her I love her and she'll say it to me too. I figured this way if anything happened, the last thing she would have heard me say is that I loved her. Lucky me, nothing has happened.

Anyway, I went home and went back to sleep. My mother woke me up so that I could take her to get her blood tests done and I actually fell back to sleep!!! That's new. Eventually she woke me again and that time I got my ass up and ready. As soon as I was dressed with coffee in hand, I took her to the doctor. While she went to do that I went to Trader Joe's and got her this maple syrup she likes. She uses it for this nasty lemonade she makes. It's supposed to keep her healthy and made it's doing it, but ICK!! That stuff is GROSS! While I was there also got a water and a thing of cookies for Jason and Susan. It's not much, but at least it's something. After that, I went to Walmart to get Chicken thighs. Well, I was supposed to get four and I got three thinking I had gotten four. Then I also picked up more Jones soda. I figured Jordan would actually want them too, so each of us is getting a case of Jones. Yum! I was in the check-out lane when my mom told me she was done. I'll tell you, I came across some REALLY STUPID drivers today. It was driving me NUTS! I was glad to get home. But it was nice too because we got to stop at Denny's and eat. My mom let me get a slam that had all the holiday specials! The bread pudding french toast, the brown sugar ham and the pumpkin pie pancakes. They were delicious!!

Then I took a little nap and went to get Cassie. From there we picked up Jordan. Cassie wanted Takis so I let her go into Albertson's and get them and some chips for Jordan. Then we got sodas at McDonald's and THEN we went to the pharmacy to pick my my mom's other medication, my medication and one for Cassie. When we got home Cassie and I just talked and played online. Eventually Susan picked her up with my food card so they could go shopping and Jason stayed with me. We really just talked. He was going to help me with my room, but that didn't happen. LOL! Ah well. Then we went to go watch the lights at Crazy Uncle Steve's, but that didn't work out either. We went to McDonald's got a drink to share and some fries, but there was no place to stay and watch the lights. Turns out that with trash coming tomorrow there were no real spots to park anyway. Then it looked like the show was stuck anyway. We'll try again tomorrow or something. Then Susan came back and picked up Jason, giving me back my card. Cassie came and gave me a hug. I love her so much! Not that I don't love my Jordan too!

Anyway, Karissa started acting funny and meowing like crazy. Turned out she didn't have food, so I had Jordan get her some. Her water was fine. My mom fixed dinner and it was good - sort of like quesadillas with beans inside with the cheese. Then I had to go to my room. Clothes needed folding. I did that. I had to have my trash taken out. Jordan did that too, though he was so tired. He also grabbed his pants and put a couple of things in the hamper for me. I do still have the sheet and pillow cases to put away, but that can wait.

I kind of want to stay awake to watch "Burn Notice" but I'm also tired and it would be a good idea for me to skip it and just try to sleep early. I might try. I want to feel relatively good when I go to my appointments tomorrow. I am so glad Jason and Susan are taking me. I was really nervous maybe even scared about going by myself. So I am thankful they're taking me. Of course, one of the appointment times had to be changed. The Pdoc appointment was scheduled for 10:30am and now it was moved to noon. It sucks, but what can you do, right?

Well, I think I'm going to take my meds, put on "Rizzoli and Isles" and see about sleeping. Tomorrow I'll start thinking about the newsletter.

Fan Fiction and Cafemom Fun!

Today was a pretty good day. I may not have wanted to wake up, but I did and picked up Cassie. I was going to take my mom to the bank, but we decided tomorrow morning would be better. I've just decided that I'm going to have to wake up early and deal with it. I mean, if I kept sleeping late nothing will ever change and I need to try to get a normal schedule at some point.

Anyway, Cassie couldn't wait for Susan to pick her up. But that was just because she wanted to hang out with Ian more.

As for me, I have been playing on the computer on Cafemom. I added posts again to "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" though I didn't add as much as I normally do. But I did get the book review in for "The Mephisto Club." Then I posted stuff in "Christmas Dreaming."

Then my mother surprised me. After I helped her make her bed and her little bitching session about me she got dinner for us at Beef 'n Bun. I drove and she paid. It was fantastic!! We each got fish and chips, I got a chocolate peanut butter shake while my mom got a strawberry one. That was good too!! Then we got Jordan a collosal burger meal. He was still sleeping so he didn't get to eat his fresh. He fault for not waking up! LOL!

Anyway, I went back to my computer AND I started working on my fan fiction for Eyal Lavin. I reworked it for Christmas. It's the only way it works for me. I didn't get too far; maybe a page and a half. I might write more here in a little bit, but maybe not.

I watched "Burn Notice" tonight and OMG!! Anson is kind of interesting. He is a bad guy and not one I particularly like, but he has suddenly gotten rather interesting to me. We'll see what happens next week. These are getting more dramatic as they go on. I love that show. Then I watched "Covert Affairs" which is always a good show. After all, that's where Eyal came from! ;-)

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'll see whatelse I can do and then try to sleep. Maybe I'll sleep relatively early . . . yeah right! LOL! Oh well!