Showing posts with label cravings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cravings. Show all posts

Friday, December 16, 2011

Day 4 - Making My Way Through

Well today I woke up around noon. Better than sleeping later, which I was tempted to do. But I got my ass up. I got dressed, took my meds and went out to get my morning shake. By the time I finished it was about twenty minutes later. Then Jason called. The sad thing is I started getting hungry about and hour and a half later which hasn't really happened. Then my mom reminded me she had made decaf coffee, so I went to make my iced coffee - minus creamer. :-( But with the hope that it would suppress my appetite and it did!! :-) So I was good until dinner!

I didn't really do much today. I zoned out to TV. I was lucky in the fact that Syfy had a marathon of "Destination Truth." I also decided it was time to wrap the presents. I got tape and bows from my mom and made sure I wrapped everything. Well, almost everything. I forgot to wrap the Jones Soda cases. But then again, not sure that I could wrap them on the bed. The cases could go straight through the paper.

Anyway, dinner was pretty good. Had a hamburger patty with BBQ sauce, a big pile of mixed veggies and a few oven baked fries. It was good. After dinner I went back to my room. Cassie called me and told me that on her way back from Disneyland she saw snow!! On the ground in Mission Veijo. Though I've managed to text and talk on my phone, it's out of charge just about. I hope Cassie brings me my charger tomorrow morning. But what's really sucked is that I'm starting to have cravings. Last night I wanted fried chicken. Ugh! I can't have fried stuff like that. But I think I've been pretty good for the most part.

When Jordan came to give me my computer back he was telling me he wanted to go get something sweet. Of course I knew I'd want something. I knew I had to be good though. I also wanted to see Crazy Uncle Steve's lights. I pulled up and parked. Then the car in front of me moved so I moved up. Then the car in front of them moved so I assumed they would move up, but they didn't, like assholes! So I decided to go around them, only there wasn't enough room for me to be out of someone's drive way. But I stayed there. Then this woman drives up and she angles her car like she wants to go into the driveway so I move and go on and leave missing the rest of the show only to see the car go forward and down the hill!! The old bitch faked me out! I was pissed but didn't go back. I ended up going to Albertson's with Jordan. I got some water and Jordan got some orange slice. Then I picked ip some sugar free candy. I have been good and only ate two of them. Three is a full serving. When we got home, I got on Cafemom and posted some stuff. I watched the season finale of "Burn Notice" which was really good. Fiona gave herself up so that Michael wouldn't do anything for Anson anymore. I can't wait to see next season. Too bad I'll have to wait six or seven months. Ah well.

I did get hungry again since I've only had two meals so I finally had another protein shake. I also watched a repeat of "Covert Affairs" then Jordan has been waiting for the computer and I put on "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and it was actually an episode we hadn't seen before!! It was awesome and had Jerry Springer.

Anyway, I still deal with cravings. I saw ham on the counter and I wanted to grab a piece. Jordan had a salami sandwich and I wanted one. But I haven't given in. It kind of sucks, but at least there's a reason for all of this. But I guess that's it. I have made my way through the day. It's hard some moments, but it will hopefully get easier. Not sure what I'm doing tomorrow. Maybe I will finally feel up to trying to finish my Christmas fan fiction. I hope so.

Now I'm going to finish watching "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and then take meds and head to bed.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

I Hate My Period!!

My anxiety level is so high. I'm tired but I probably couldn't sleep. I want to go to Vons and get a tiramisu bar cake again . . . And I just feel emotional. I HATE IT!!! Ugh! Then I'd go to Vons, but I think my mom is still awake and I wouldn't want to go until she's in bed.

I didn't do too much today except proof-read and re-post my James Bond Fantasy. But what really made my day was that she loved my story. It made her laugh, almost cry and she wanted more!! :-) That made me feel so good! I think I'm going to try to work on my "Michael" story. I just have to sort out my angle. But I have to figure out how he would react to a girl that comes out of nowhere. One who is clearly not from Atlantis, though I don't think he'd rule it out. Well, my mind will stew on it for a bit and see what I can come up with something because I would like to write something about Michael. I've always had a thing for him.

Anyway, my mom made me cook chicken. It was pretty good. I only ate two pieces though. My stomach had felt kinda weird, but I think that's from anxiety. I HATE PMS!!! The anxiety is bad and I hate that it's there and worse because of it.

I don't think I'm going to do much else tonight. If I get to Vons, that will be the best thing. I can get my sweet, creamy craving taken care of.

I did also watch "The Da Vinci Code" which is a really good movie. I hadn't watched it in awhile. Then after that was two episodes of "Leverage!" I was glad I finally remembered this week! I LOVE this show. Then I'll watch "The Glades" at some point. But I gotta get to Vons! LOL! CRAVINGS ARE KILLING ME!!!

It sucks having anxiety, being over emotional, being TIRED and the cravings. I hope all this eases up in a day or two. I can't handle this for long.

Okay, I guess I've rambled and ranted enough. I just hope my mom goes to bed soon!