Gearing Up for the Holidays

Well, what can I say? Monday night I took a bath to do some reading - yes the tub is my reading place! LOL! I was reading "I, Alex Cross" by James Patterson. I was about half way through it when I picked up. My mistake was not putting it down. The farther I got the most I had to know how it was going to end! Do that ever happen to you? Anyway, I ended up reading the rest of the book! I was in the tub for something like 4.5 hours. And in a lot of ways it was worth it, but it took a lot out of me the next day. I was up until about 1:00am and then I woke up around 9:00am give or take. I used to be able to go on the littlest amount of sleep and still function properly. But now? Nope. Yesterday, I crashed at 4:30pm. Was woken up around 7:00pm to have some dinner, then I went back to sleep and though I woke up a lot I didn't want to wake today at 8:30am. But I did!! And I perked up as the day went on though I am getting amazingly tired.

Yesterday was good too. Marissa came over with a woman that works with Cassi at school and we talked. It was good to find out what was going on in school with her, which she has been doing good for the most part until last week. I'll sit Cassi down and speak with her and see if there is something I can do for her or set a new rule for her to get her bus pass. I also found out about an assignment she has to do for English and it should be a snap for her. Five paragraphs about what she would like to change about herself. 

Marissa and I also talked about my own mental health. I have had some rocky days on and off for a bit and I told her I was thinking about going back to the CBT classes at Heartland (CBT = Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). She thought that was a good idea and we made that as my goal this week. She was happy to hear that I went. Marissa is such an awesome person and really encourages me. She also says that she gets a lot out of working with me too. In fact, I'm going to be helping her with more mental health stuff because as I go to the groups at Heartland I can share more and more with her - papers, exercises and stuff like that! We are also going to discuss more about my budget not so much next month but January. We also talked a bit about the coming new year and things I might want to work on achieving  - one of which is getting back on my protein shakes and get back to working on myself again. That's the main one! :-) There are a couple more, but that's the top one on my mind. But she set me in a good mood. 

After that, I took my mom to Walmart so she could do some shopping. I had to go slow. LOL! But I didn't mind. My mom was nice enough to buy me a steno pad that I can use for my budgeting. The one I was using disappeared. Literally. I checked everywhere and it was just gone. It sucked because now I am thinking I have left something off on my list of things to pay. But I'm sure I have everything. There's still that doubt though. She also got me some fabreeze which I have been using in my car. I need to get another one for my room. My mom also got me my Christmas present! Yeah, it kind of sucks in some ways, but you know, at least I get something I want and it fits. Not that it wouldn't 4X fits me perfect.

When I got home though, I was exhausted! I came in, grabbed a cup of coffee to perk me up . . . nope. I fell asleep! So I was basically asleep by 5:00pm. Was woken up at 7:00pm for some dinner - which was good! Then I went back to sleep after that. I woke up several times last night, but I slept until 8:30am. I did start perking up though! I got dressed, got water, gave Karissa treats, feed the fish . . . Then I went to my CBT group - which it's CBT/Coping skills together followed by Social Skills. I really don't need social skills, but I enjoy being social in that class. I still remembered most of the CBT, though the Arrow Technique I definitely needed a refresher. My happy level on a scale of 1 - 10 my first level was about a 7, which is pretty good. After the first group, I was up to an 8. 

When I came home after class I had a WONDERFUL surprise! My $50 check came in!! I needed that check earlier in the week, but since I had some fuel help I was able to take the money and use it toward Christmas! Yay! SO I went to the bank to cash the check, went to McDonald's to get a large Caramel Iced Coffee and somewhere between there I lost $10. I didn't know though, until I checked out and had to put more back than I wanted to. It turned into a very nice moment though. The woman behind me gave me a couple of bucks to at least get the hot chocolates I wanted. I got Peppermint Hot Cocoa mixes for gifts and the box of hot chocolate as gifts too. I still have a lot of get for Christmas, but I think I can do it this year and I LOVE giving to my friends and my mom.

But it was so nice to start on my Christmas shopping!! Totally awesome! I can't say much, but I got some big mugs that come with a spoon. I did also grab a $5 Christmas movie for myself - Eloise at Christmastime. It is such a cute movie! I can't wait to do the rest of my shopping! I love Christmastime! It's the best time of the year! For me anyway! It makes me even happier to actually be able to give gifts. There were so many years I just couldn't. So far a good opening for the Holidays! Yay!!

Now tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I'll be going to my mother's. On Friday Jason, Susan, myself, the kids and a couple other friends are getting together for another Thanksgiving. THAT is the one I REALLY look forward too! Now I just have to remember to take pix!!! :-)

6,052 Views!!!

Wow!! I'm floored that I have so many page views! I never thought my life was that interesting! LOL! But here it is, I have been blessed with a lot of page views and what's really funny is that when I started this blog it's basically a diary of my life. I didn't expect anyone to look at it, so needless to say I am so surprised - pleasantly surprised by the views. For those that stop and actually read more than what's on the first page, I thank you! If you like it, come back again! :-)

I am just genuinely happy and thank you all!

As for my day, it wasn't really that interesting. I worked on my Facebook pages and posted in my groups. I also created a new page called "Overcoming Abuse" which I try to post things as encouragement to others AND finding things about personality disorders that could be what the abusers have. Not to excuse them but to help us understand that whatever they did to us was NOT our fault. I grew up with abuse and as I got older I was abused by my siblings and a now Ex Husband. I have even had a friend once upon a time who was also attacking me for no reason. But that's basically where I post this stuff. I want to encourage others and to let them know they can survive and become better than they ever were. That the abuser doesn't get to decide what kind of person you are, how you think or how you feel. In fact, it shows people how shallow, malicious and critical they are. But anyway, I didn't hope in my "Holidays Through the Year" page today. Not that I won't, but I am getting pretty tired.

I woke up around 7:00am. I have been waking up so early these last few days, but I don't mind it. I was able to get right onto Facebook and start my stuff. I also made a large cup of coffee - two actually. I had cold coffee in the fridge and it's perfect for the morning! I put in splenda and some creamer and voila! Delish! But I also decided to write a flash fiction that had been kicking around in my head for awhile. A Flash Fiction is a very short story (between 100-300 words) with a twist at the end. I had fun with it and a few people got a kick out of it. 

I also did some regular chores like taking care of the kitties. I had to get Karissa fresh water and refill her dry food bowl. But what's funny is as soon as I open her canned food at night Romeo is right there. But Karissa eats her fill, jumps on the bed and starts grooming, letting Romeo eat the rest of her food. But other than that, she chases him out of the room. LOL! Sometimes I worry about Romeo, but he seems pretty fast and I think Karissa is just trying to make a point about this room being HERS! 

I also made muffins today! I wanted to make a cake, but I didn't have the vegetable oil I needed for it. The mix is Caramel apple flavored with matching frosting. I just had to try it when I saw it. I have been waiting for several days, but Susan finally picked some up! So tomorrow is going to be caramel apple cake! After we eat that I'm going to make spiced peach cobbler! Perfect for September! In fact, if this turns out well, I might share it. It's super, super easy!! That's the kind of cooking I really like! ;-) Everyone loves that I have been more into cooking and baking, but they say I'm making them fat! LOL! They love it!

Other than that, I haven't done much else. I picked up Cassi from the trolley after she spent time with friends. Her hair is now blonde until she decides to go for another brilliant color. She was thinking of going back to pink. But she also got snake bites. She's wanted them and she had one lip piercing already. Jason doesn't like it, but he's dealing with it. At least he didn't act like a jerk. He has done that in the past, but I think he's growing emotionally and understanding more about Cassi. Plus, he's known for a long time she has wanted snake bites.

Well, tomorrow I'm going to see about going to my Mom's to do laundry tomorrow. If she's okay with that Jordan can help me with it. He is so much better off at Grandma's house than with my brother. He's one of the abusers in my family. but that's a story for another time! But for now, my life is good and I am enjoying everyday! I hope a lot of people are having days like mine. And if you're not, it's okay. Things will get better. Sometimes it just takes awhile. ;-)

Okay, done for now! Time to pack it up and go to sleep!

The Birthday, The Beach and a Day of Exhaustion

I know I haven't posted for a few days, but I've been a bit busy and tired! :-) Monday, the 26th, was my birthday. I was woken up earlier than I wanted to be woken up, but I had to take Cassi's friend Ray back home. Then she wanted to visit another friend, but changed her mind and staying home. That was kind of nice to have her around, though she was bored to tears pretty much! LOL! But for the most part Jason and I hung out together with Cassi and it was a nice quiet day. Then for the topper Jason and Susan went shopping and got everything for Jason's grilled BBQ chicken. They also got baked beans and a cake! The cake was triple chocolate and it was pretty good! :-) It was such a nice birthday. Just like I like them! Hanging with my family - some of my best friends in the WORLD! 

The following day Jason and I were talking about what to do. He suggested the beach and I thought, "Okay, I haven't been there awhile. Why not?" Jordan also wanted to spend the day with me, so as I went to pick up Jordan Jason started making sandwiches and get fruit and stuff. On the way back with him I also stopped at Albertson's and did some WIC shopping. October is the last month for Cassi. Anyway, we got 2 gallons of milk, cereal and juice. I also picked up some fruits and veggies. One of the things I bought was a strawberry and blueberry bowl. Those strawberries were the best ever!! So we took that to the beach too. On the way out Cassi had forgot her wallet and she needed it to hang out with her friend later so we had to go back. Then we finally got on the road. Jason had to guide me because I don't know how to get to any of the beaches really. Well, we went to Mission Beach. We put out the blankets and towels on the grass and then ate the sandwiches, fruit, Jason also picked up BBQ chips and sugar free Lofthouse cookies. They were GOOD!! Jason also got Susan to come meet us there after she was during. I changed into my swimsuit, but put my yellow skirt in a puddle in the bathroom without realizing it until I went to pick it up. Just  meant I was going to go home in my swimsuit and not changing again. 

Poor Jordan was so tired, he basically napped the whole time, but talk about a nice place to nap! So Jason, Cassi and I walked across the sand toward the water. It was an ordeal for me since I don't have great balance anyway because of my medication, and I sink way into the sand because I'm still pretty heavy. But I got there. Cassi got her feet wet and when she went in a little deeper she decided it was too cold. So she headed back to the grass and the blankets. Jason and I actually went about waist deep in and I had such a good time doing it. It reminded me of being a kid and all the days we spent at Silver Strand boogie boarding. It just made me smile. Those were some of the best days. I will always think on the beach as filled with good memories. But I hadn't been there in so long and I was always worried about getting sunburned. Well, we did have sun block, but it was a spray and it was breezy. Needless to say we still got burned, but mine wasn't so bad. It didn't take away how much fun I had. When Cassi's friend got there she left. Originally she was supposed to spend the night, but there was someone from her school coming over the following day to have us fill out surveys at 9:00am.

We stayed about 20-30 minutes longer, then Jason and Susan left to go out to dinner and then Jordan and I left. It was good to hang out with him for a bit. I had wanted him to spend the night, but that didn't work out. But I guess that was for the best because Cassi came home. But I made us some rice for dinner. I combined chicken fried rice with teriyaki rice. It turned out pretty well. Cassi had the rest so at least there was none to put away. I was well and thoroughly tired that night, but had a little trouble getting to sleep. But I got there.

I woke up about 8:30am and I knew I was going to be tired all day. For whatever reason I didn't get enough sleep or something. But I got up and got ready. I left Cassi sleep as long as she could. Jason woke up long enough to request that I meet this guy on the picnic tables out front because of the state of the living room. I won't go into it, but let's say there's a lot of stuff that should be in a bedroom really. Not in the living room so I understood where he was coming from. So when he arrived, I got Cassi up, let her get dressed as I took him to the benches. Even he thought this survey was stupid because we hadn't even had any services from the district. Go figure. But they needed Cassi to fill one out as well. It was the most stupid thing in the world to do. But we did it and it was done within 15 minutes.

After he left I just tried to do as much of my To Do List that I could do. I got most of it done, which was good. I took Jason to the trolley to get to work and then did more things. It got to a point though that we had to take a break, turn on the a/c and relax. I also made dinner last night for Cassi, Susan and I. I used 2 pkgs of Creole Garlic Butter flavored rice. I cooked up ground turkey. Steamed carrots and broccoli and then mixed it all together. It tasted pretty good. It wasn't spicy at all. I added sour cream to mine and to Cassi's. We love sour cream. :-) After that, I did throw up though, which was a bit sad, but needed. I ate too much I think. It was awhile later that I finally had a piece of cake. Th good thing is that I was so tired that I crashed. I was asleep around 9:00pm, because Jason said he looked in on me at around 9:30pm and I was out!

So far today has been a quiet day. Cassi and I woke up. I was feeling pretty good. I've been getting stuff done on my To Do List, not that there isn't more! LOL! But I am feeling good. I still get tired, but it has to be the heat. It's hot and muggy and miserable outside. I was driving in it earlier. I had to take Cassi to the trolley at Spring Street and then I had to take Jason to the Amaya trolley stop so he could get to work. Once I got back I turned on the a/c and have been chilling in the living room because it's cooler. It's kind of driving Karissa up the wall that I am not back in my room with her. She actually will come out here to be in the same room with me. She is my little love. I can't imagine my life without her. I worry about her passing a lot. But that's just because she's starting to get up there.

Anyway, I'm going to pull out something for dinner tonight and see what happens. I have no idea what I'm going to make, but I'll figure it out! :-) I'm pretty good about it! That's something else is nice. Everyone appreciates my cooking. It's awesome to be appreciated for something you do and I know it benefits everyone. I need to try some new recipes though! I have a few in mind.

Guess that's it for now! If anything interesting happens maybe I'll post again, but it's nice not to be so exhausted today and that I had a good few days. Times like this are awesome!

Easy Peasy Breezy Day

Today was simple. I woke up at 10:00am. I had the place to myself for the day with Cassi at her boyfriend's and Jason and Susan at Sea World. I didn't really do a lot except for what I needed to get done. I worked on some letters. I got one finished and sent out with papers I were supposed to return (thought I HAD returned them - oops!).  was glad I got that done! That was important!  I also posted in some groups on FB and stuff. I also cleaned out the litter boxes, washed Karissa's dish, called my mom and whatnot! I also worked on the story. I have more of an idea about the bad guy. Not just his name and what he does for a living and how he talks and looks. There are others around too that might be looked at as suspects. It's good to feel as if that part of my brain is working again! For awhile there it was just gone! And now I am feeling so inspired and just want this to really flow. The more I delve into my characters the better the story will be! I just haven't been this inspired in a long time. Who knows? Maybe this will really be the start of something else that's great!

I haven't eaten much, which is a good thing. I think I had a sandwich toward noon, I was also drinking regular coffee. I had a bowl of cereal a couple hours later. I then had two piece of corn bread with butter and honey, some mac n'cheese for dinner and a nice hot fudge sundae to round things out. Jason and Susan had brought me that home when they went to get their own treats from Mickey D's. I wouldn't say it was much, but I would say pretty yummy! :-)

I am really happy that my day was easy, that I felt good and that I got stuff done! There were no down moments, which always makes for a good day!

This evening I helped my best friend start a blog, which was fun! I got to set it up and pic out the style of it and all that. She told me what she wanted and I did my best to accommodate. Of course, I did have an issue of writing in the wrong page domain name and I forgot how to get to that to edit it. It took me probably about 10-20 minutes. I didn't give up and so I found what I needed and made the correction! Yay! So she has one blog up at the moment. She has another she wants me to post, but it will probably have to be done tomorrow. It's getting late and I have to go to sleep at some point! LOL! I'd like to wake up around 9:00am tomorrow. I could even set my alarm, but I kind of let God decide when to wake me, unless I really need to be up in the morning for something. I haven't decided if the fish tanks need cleaning tomorrow. I might take care of it. I don't want to have to do it on my birthday, though it's really not that bad and it doesn't take that long. But who says you can't train fish. When they see me they dance for me! :-) And then they start looking up knowing I'm going to feed them! They are so cute! You can get close to fish just like a cat or dog. Well, not exactly, but close!

Okay, I did some reading, I did some writing and got some things done! Today was definitely another good day!

Now it's time to rest and hopefully sleep! ;-)

As The Sun Sets . . .

I am winding down for the night. It's been a good day! Got almost everything done on my list. Yay me!! :-) But I have to admit I am still tired. The 36 hours of being awake really did take a toll. I'm not a teenager or a twenty-something anymore. I mean, I woke up at 10:00am and was still exhausted, but I was ready to get up too. I don't like to sleep the days away anymore. More proof I'm doing better now than I was living at home with my mom. My mom and I get to talk everyday now and there's no real tension. I love that part of it! Plus I just feel secure where I am. I'm with people that love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. There is no serious complaining. In fact, it rarely happens at all! No one expects perfect. No one has a fit if the house doesn't look like a museum. It really is the place I belong for now! 

I worked on my list of things to get done. Cleaned the litter boxes, feed the fish, wash out Karissa's food bowl, wash dishes, take shower - I definitely needed one! LOL! Plus posting in groups on Facebook and pages and blogs. Also worked on letters to my prisoners and soldier. 

I also made dinner tonight. I knew Jason and Susan were both going to be tired. Jason wasn't sure he would like the BBQ turkey sandwiches - my version of sloppy joes. I don't like the taste of them. I just cooked ground turkey with some garlic powder, pepper and salt, drained it and added BBQ sauce. I think I would pick a different BBQ sauce next time though. I want to get Sweet Baby Ray's maybe! Also instead of serving it on bread, I'd like to have hamburger buns or rolls next time. I also made mac n cheese along with steamed broccoli - by special request! Turns out that it was a hit, though I was worried it wouldn't be. But it was after all! In fact, Susan took the last of mine that I couldn't eat! Yay! That's the one thing that's a good thing. I can't eat too much! :-) It's a very good thing!

Outside of that, I worked on my story more. Not really in the writing of it. I am working on Emily Sinclair's bio. I need to know her before I can write her well. Same goes for the other main characters. But it's all coming together! Once that's done it's back to the real writing! But I really like how my mind keeps working with it! It's awesome!!

Anyway, I don't know what else I'm going to do tonight. I have been trying to watch "Tanked" but I can't seem to concentrate on it. Guess my mind is still working on the story! LOL! That's not a bad thing. But I think I'm going to sleep pretty well tonight too. I just hope that tomorrow I don't wake up so tired. It helps not to stay up for 36 hours straight! In fact, I might take my night meds now and go to sleep. That might be the brightest idea of the evening so far! LOL!

Now, what to do for tomorrow . . . ;-)

Happy to Be Me!

What can I say about today? Busy? Productive? Happy for the most part? How about it all? I went to bed last night pretty late. I ended up sleeping in until 10:00am when Jason finally woke me up. It was good I slept, but I needed to get him to work. When I came home Cassi was awake. Apparently we had woken her up when we were leaving. :-( I didn't even get dressed at that point because I was a bit rushed. LOL! I just stayed in my Pajamas. :-) Even into the noon hour. Cassi wanted her boyfriend to come over and I really like him so far and I believe this will be her first REAL relationship. They both want to take it relatively slow and really just let things flow, like being friends. What I really like is that he's a good influence on her. He wants to become a cop. Maybe even go into the FBI! He also handles time very well! I just like him a lot! Even Jason wasn't upset over this boy. Usually he has a cow when she has a boyfriend or even a boy friend over. But this one might be the real deal. I hope so. I want to see them happy together!

Anyway, I got dressed and started cleaning up the kitchen counters and reorganizing things that were on them. I picked him up from the trolley, we came back and I finished the kitchen counters (Except a little one near the microwave). I put stuff on it that I wasn't entirely sure where else to put. LOL! After that, I went back into my bedroom and let them hang out and watch a movie together. While they were watching the movie, I worked on a letter to a prisoner I've befriended. Unfortunately I haven't finished it yet. Maybe tomorrow morning! :-) I was also on Facebook working on a couple of my groups and then added something to my Page called "Krystina Grant's Writings." I also added something to my Blog of the same name. I also wrote  down some recipes that I want to make. I have been so into cooking lately! Just simple stuff and different variations. So far haven't had a miss yet and that makes me feel so good! It gives me more and more confidence to keep on cooking. I haven't enjoyed cooking like this for YEARS! 

I also cleaned out the litter boxes, Karissa's food bowl and eventually feed her. Then I made dinner - Steak Fajita Rice Dinner. Really simple and turned out yummy. It was also super delicious! Everyone liked it!  Yay! After serving and eating myself, I went back to my room and put the sheet back on my bed. I toss and turn at night and it pulls the corner up. That drives me crazy! LOL! I also swept the bathroom floor a little. Someone else needs to get it up and out. My back started aching tonight, but I am not unhappy with the day. 

I just wish that I could get a little more likes on my FB page and more hits on my other blog. But we'll see what happens! Maybe tomorrow I might work a new story or keep going on an older one. I have two I have started and haven't finished not to mention tons of ideas! 

I have just been feeling good lately!! I don't know if it's a mild hypomania, but I haven't crashed yet and my monthly is due any day now. Usually I wouldn't be this happy, calm or productive! I have really been so happy for the last few weeks. I feel so productive and hopeful about the future! Plus being in an environment where I am loved and appreciated for what I do and not bitched and moaned at for not having done something, or not doing it right or just constant negative attitude. Then being accused of having a bad attitude!! LOL! Go figure! I like who I am right now and that's worth my weight in gold! Seriously - I'm not exactly thin yet! :-D

Well, I am ready to get back into my pajamas, take my night meds and crash! We'll see how things go tomorrow! ;-D

Such a Bright Future!!

What can I say! I know it's been awhile and I've gone through a lot of stuff. I moved from my mother's. Cassi came with me. Jordan went to my brother Tim's. Though I have found out I am physically addicted to ativan. I guess it's not such a surprise when you think about the fact I've been on it for years. But I talked to my Pdoc and told her I wanted off. The withdrawal symptoms sucked and it triggered a hypomanic episode. Not fun, but livable. The Pdoc came up with a plan to ween me off and now I'm doing much better. I went from 2mgs a day - usually at night to help me sleep, down to 1 mg. Tomorrow I go down to .5 mgs a day for a week and then I am done and over with this insidious drug. In fact, since I've been easing off it, I have had a clearer mind, I have been happier. Life is good!

Also a previous friend got her book published. It's called "The Adventures of Four Paws and a Tail: Butch Finds a New Home." It's a children's book. I haven't read it myself, but I am so happy for her! And it has also inspired me to go back and really pursue my dream of getting published!

I have also started pages for my writing because I have more than one book in the running. I want people interested in me as a writer too; not just my book "Assassin's Seduction." If you're into suspense romance or more romance I guess, this might be something you could be interesting! My books are all about that kind of feel with different twists. They are not typical story lines. If you want to find my blog here: http://krystinagrantwritings.blogspot.com/ and you can look my page up on Facebook. It's under Krystina Grant's Writings.

But regardless what happens I won't give up. The last few years have been filled with a fair amount to stress and strife, but I've come through it. I have great friends that are my family. They love me and I love them. They provide me shelter (I do pay them rent), they help encourage me, they are there when things don't go so well, but I can say that in general my life has been good and just recently it has been great! I really feel like I have a bright future. That my dreams will be fulfilled and that I continue to have more good days than bad! 

I am just so happy with my life right now. :-) I feel positive! And that's the best thing of all!

An Awesome Saturday!

I slept late today. I don't think I got up until about 1:30pm. My mom wanted me to take her to Walmart, but first she had made some spaghetti for an EARLY dinner. I mean dinner is not generally at 2:30pm! But it didn't stop me from eating. I had a big plate and I ended up being quite full. I'm not used to eating a lot when I first get up, but I knew I needed to eat. After that, Jordan pulled out hangers from my closet so that I could put my clothes on them then have Jordan hang them up for me. It got them off my bed and that's a good thing. Then my mom took a nap before we could go to Walmart. That was okay. It just left me with time to putter around my room, write out my GRAPES. I haven't really finished with it today yet. I'm going to do some meditating. It really wasn't that long before my mom woke up ready to go.

Walmart is always good. My mom and I always split up and then meet at McDonald's. She tells me a couple of things to grab for her along the way. Well, this time after grabbing the things she wanted, I decided to look in the $5 DVD bin because I've been trying to find "Fool's Gold." There was this woman there that was seriously digging through the DVDs so I asked her if she'd seen a copy. Well, she hadn't and after a few more minutes I gave up, went to McDonald's and got a soda. Then awhile later the woman found me and said she'd found a copy of the movie. She told me she had put it on the side of the pole, but I wasn't sure what she meant. But after my mom came and she ate while I had an ice cream cone, I told her I wanted to check something out and went back to the bin to see if I could find the movie.

Well, I didn't find it . . . There was this guy there and I was bemoaning the back I just couldn't find this movie. He suggested I make a pile of the movies and go through them one at a time, but I just didn't have the time. I told him I couldn't because of my mother. Again, I gave up and went back to my mom. After that, we headed to the back registers where the car was parked. Just as I was getting ready to get my things scanned the guy tracked me down and handed me my movie!! He said, "Told you we could find it." I thought that was so incredibly awesome! How often do you find one kind stranger, but to find two? I think I was definitely meant to get that movie today. LOL! It was just a really neat experience and I walked away with the movie I wanted!

After we got home, Jordan brought the stuff in from the car. He was happy. I got him a candy bar. :-P Then I got myself to do stretches again. That's three days in a row of "WANTING" to do stretches and doing them! Then some time after that Jordan brought me my computer back, but I didn't really have very much energy to do anything other than check a couple of sites. Then Jordan wanted to go to the store. He wanted more candy and I remembered that Vons was having a buy 2 get 2 free on some of their candy. Then I figured if we were going there, why not get a sandwich and chips? Of course, when we got there, there were no large subs. We had to make due with little sandwiches of which I bought us two each. I got us each a bag of chips and a soda. We still got the candy and I also got Eclaires. OMG! I forgot how good those were! Basically, we sat in the parking lot and ate. We brought home the chips and my candy. He ate his. But Jordan is a bit of a bottomless pit. He eats and eats and eats. 

Anyway, I found a new show I like!! "My Cat From Hell" and it's awesome. This show I can really get into because I'm a cat person and I can really impliment anything new I learn - if I can being that I'm not in my own house. But Karissa doesn't have any bad behaviors. She is loving and she talked . . . she's wonderful and I love my baby so much! But it's awesome to watch this guy work with families and their fur babies to end bad behavior and make everyone happy. GREAT show!

Okay, guess that's it for now. I am exhausted and am going to try to go to sleep. I won't hold my breath though. I lay down and my head starts working. I hate it, but it is what it is. However, I'm so tired that maybe I will fall asleep easily. That will be my hope.

  

I feel like I'm on cloud nine!

I feel so good right now! It's great after having MONTHS of downtime. It sucks being depressed. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. Especially when it just ruins every part of your life. You can't enjoy things. You don't want to see anyone. Nothing matters. And if you're creative - the creativity goes . . . That's where I've been for the last six months give or take. I have been in a deep dark pit and it felt as if I were going to be trapped there for eternity. HOWEVER that wasn't to be!!

Christmas really wasn't good. Christmas day was nice. I fixed a ham and the trimmings. We all got gifts. It was nice just hanging out. But I was so stressed out too. On the third day at my friend's house where we were house and cat sitting for the holidays, my son downloaded a virus into their computer that didn't have anti-virus on it . . . I didn't tell my friends right away because I didn't want to ruin their trip. But I stressed so hard that for New Years I just had this empending sense of doom. It did come to pass that I told them two days before they got back. It came close to ending our friendship, but in the end they recognized that it wasn't done on purpose and that they could possibly fix it (which they have managed to do). However, the good part about being over there was being around cats all day long! It was fantastic! So even though the bad out-weighed the good, there were a couple of good things.

The year has been a little rocky so far because of that mishap, but all in all everything and everyone is back to normal. The best thing so far though is that the three books I thought I lost when my side of the computer crashed I was able to get back! All but two chapters. Lucky for me I had sent it to a couple of friends and had them saved in the SENT box!! So I am more than happy about that. Plus, my sister has MOVED OUT!! She left yesterday and already the house feels so much lighter and happier! She not there hovering ready to jump on you for any little mistake. She was a BITCH! But she left with her boyfriend to go do what they're going to go do and she said she'll come back every so often, but I'm going to try to do enough around here that my mother will be happy. She's not at the moment because my room and Jordan's room is a mess, but I plan to correct that this week. I just can't express how much better I feel now! And in a surprising move she gave me her car. I have to register it in my name, but that's not a problem. It's just nice to know I have a car!!! I am not trapped by having to rely on other people!! If I need to get to an appointment, I CAN! If I need to go to the store, I CAN!!

Things are just so much better. I even felt good enough to make dinner for us tonight. Not that I don't anyway, but I'm making Chicken Casserole and it's yummy and BIG. Enough for me, my kids, my mother and our friend Tom whose staying here at the moment.

I am just thrilled and I feel like things are going to be great! I hope this isn't just a hypomanic episode and I drop back into a depressed, but I don't think so. I feel like I'm alive again!! And that's a miracle after 6 months of darkness. Okay, guess that's about all I wanted to ramble about! LOL! I am happy, happy, happy!!!

Even Diana Can't Bring Me Down!

Well, it helps that I won't be seeing her for the next two weeks too! I am house and cat sitting for Jason and Susan while they luxuriate on a lovely cruise to Hawaii, I get to enjoy the quiet of their place. Actually it won't be quiet with children here, but it's a good noise compared to the bitchy, screeching my sister does. I won't go into the petter crap she's been pulling all week except to say it was over a glass and a trash can. Yeah . . . for three days on this shit. But I spent most of the time packing or running around.

Packing was interesting trying to get everything packed. Some things had to wait until the very last minute like food and meds and stuffies - Well, my stuffy. And moving everything here took three car loads spread out over the week. We also brought Karissa and froggers. I think froggers is shocked by the warmth. Karissa seemed to remember being here before. She ran into the bedroom under the bed, then was on the bed, the dresser . . . remembered where the food was . . . but shocker of shockers she came out into the livingroom! I never expected she would in a couple of hours! I thought at least it would take a day or so! Anyway, the other cats all have different reactions to her. Katianna is relaxed, though not sure she wouldn't hiss if right up in Karissa's face. Christopher doesn't seem to mind her. They were both under the bed together. Romeo isn't sure what to think so he's being cautious and Anna is just plan scared! But all in all I think it's going to be okay.

Cassie is playing with her friend Paige. They made paper snowflakes and they are really, really pretty. Wish I could post a picture, but I don't have that ability yet. I will be able to though! I will! Anyway it was a type of snow flake I'd seen before but had never made myself. Cassie showed me how to make them last night and they are so beautiful! They also made paper chains and have been playing with stuffies and littlest pets.

I feel a little sorry for Jordan though. He was going to play WoW but the computer is being stupid and now he can't play it. There isn't much else for him to do other than watch movies. He's going to go insane! But it beats being home with Diana the bitch.

It's just so nice to be here! We have a tree and Christmas lights. I can play Christmas music and plan for stockings and presents. I feel relaxed here like I can finally relax. Maybe a can get a shoulder and back massage from a friend of mine. Think that would make things near perfect. :-) So I am in a good mood. I am happy and I am going to damn well enjoy the holidays!! LOL!