Sunshine On Me!

Well, I feel kind of tired today. I was up LATE last night. I was up to 1:00am or a little longer than that! Originally I stayed up last night because I thought I had to pick Cassi and her friends up from a concert at Soma. In fact, one of the moms gave me fuel money. I don't think the kids told her they got a ride home from someone else. But it must have been God because I was expecting $50 and it didn't show up this month. I didn't know how I was going to make it to December 1st with as little fuel I had left. But now, I have fuel and it will last me! God knew and He provided! Anyway, I was still awake when they came home. I just wanted to make sure they got home okay. Once they did, I stopped working on Facebook and FINALLY try to sleep.

When I did fall asleep I had different dreams. But the one that stands out the most for me is one where I was finding ants on me in bed and as I got up I saw rows of ants not just on the bed, but on the floor on the carpet. That freaked me out! LOL! I still have a HUGE paranoia of ants! It didn't help that I did find one crawling on me yesterday. But it was just one and there was no rows of ants! But I guess the paranoia stuck with me into dreamland. 

Yesterday was awesome! I woke up feeling great! I got things done! I also got almost every Facebook page updated. Some require more work than others. My holidays one takes the most! But I celebrate the seasons and traditional holidays. Of course, anything else I find I do add - like Friday the 13th is coming up next month and I have pix saved on my computer to post for fun! Right now though, I am celebrating autumn, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Soon it will be Christmas and New Years! I do a countdown too! It ends on January 1st. After that it will go to Valentine's Day, maybe President Birthdays and definitely St. Patty's Day! We'll go from there! One of my pages I'm actually an admin of, but everyone loves what I post! So I try to post as many good pix of what fits the page each day!

I also took care of the cats and the fish. I was going to do some reading, but it was really too late by the time I thought about it. That's where I do my reading! LOL! And I am into a great book by James Patterson, "I, Alex Cross" and it is so good! I get sucked into the Alex Cross books! So far, there is nothing better! I can't wait to read them all! Next month I would really like to get "Merry Christmas, Alex Cross." I figure it's fitting! :-D I also found out what kind of books Susan really likes so it's giving me more ideas! I guess my Christmas list isn't set it stone yet! Anything could change!

Today I woke up tired. I was up before 9:00am though I was up so late. I wanted to go back to sleep, but after getting a little put off by Jason raising his voice - not to me. He was just frustrated over something - and then Cassi needing things I just went ahead and got up. Goodness knows I needed coffee! LOL! OMG! White Chocolate Raspberry is one of the BEST creamers ever! I think I have a new fav and it kinda sucks because this one is one out at one time of year! Ah well . . . There's always Almond Joy!

I was a little stressed about Cassi today, but you know, she's going to be dating and she's on a date today - her and her new beau went to the movies! He took her to see "Catching Fire." I hope they enjoy it. It made me feel better that it's someone several of her friends know and are friends with. I hope she hangs onto this one for awhile - give her a taste of a real relationship, but she does go through boys like tissue paper. But it would be nice! 

Then Susan and I had a nice chat. We really don't talk that often like that even though we live in the same place, but we are usually doing other things and sometimes aren't that chatty. But today we had a nice talk! We talked about all kinds of stuff! Books, movies, stories and games and history . . . Awesome! It was nice! I don't often talk to people in RL anymore! I know, I'm weird. I chat on the phone a little, write letters a little and write emails a little. I don't do a lot of any of them. Guess I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts a lot of the times!

Another really good thing is I'm going to try to reserve enough fuel to go to Heartland once a week, if I can, to participate in a couple of their classes again. I want to go to Cognitive Therapy and maybe Coping Skills. It depends what class is before Cog therapy or after. But I think it would be a positive step for me to get me out of the house a bit and get back to taking care of me! So I'm hoping maybe Wednesday to go to Heartland. I think they're open until the day before Thanksgiving. I will call tomorrow morning and find out.

Oh and last night was great! Jordan got his favorite dinner by Susan for his Birthday - Chicken Parmesan. I have to say it was delicious! But I ate too much and was sick for a couple of hours. I was thinking about making myself throw up to relieve the pain. But I distracted myself with something - I think the internet. Then by the time I pulled away, I was better. I was finally able to take my meds and drink some water. Had I tried earlier I really would have thrown up! But it was great to have Jordan here and have dinner with him. Jason let him order a movie for his birthday so he rented "Inglorious Bastards." I hadn't actually seen the whole thing before - though I recently bought it for $5. It was good and a bit gory. Of course, it being a Quinten Terentino (sp?) movie  it's expected. Jason went into the back room and Susan put her ear buds in. Neither liked the movie for it's gore! LOL! Some of it was pretty brutal like the scalping scenes! But considering it was being done on the Nazis (in the movie) it seemed appropriate to me! LOL! Okay, maybe that's creepy! What can I say? They were BAD guys!

Well, I have had a ton of coffee today. I still feel exhausted, but I still need to work on the Facebook pages. I will get to them, though it will be a question of when, because I am thinking about taking a bath and doing some reading. I don't want to wait until it's too late. Hopefully I will sleep tonight! Anyway, I guess that's it for now!

Catch Ya Later!

The First Date Leading to a Second

Today was very good I think! I got Cassie up for school and got her off. I came home and slept about two hours and got up in time to make it to my lunch date with Mark at Taco Bell! We ate and talked. It's still kind of new so there is some nervousness, but we're going to have lunch again tomorrow and then see how thinks work out physically. ;-) I'm not one for waiting, though I have to say I'm nervous. But I think ultimately this is going to be a fun day. I just have to get over myself. We've already talked about being safe and we don't have to worry about where because we'll have a room. Jason keeps being a pain in the butt about the fact that he took me to Taco Bell. Come on! It was a lunch date anyway and I'm the one that suggested it! I figured that eventually if we go out to dinner we'll go some place nice. I think Jason is just being the protective brother. I can deal with that as long as he goesn't get to be a real pain in the ass. I think he'll be okay though.

Anyway, I got home and was tired, but I tried to work a little on my James Bond fan fiction, but I was so tired!! Then waiting for Cassie at school was not easy either. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. However, I did get to text Mark. His texts are so weird. I know it's got to be his phone. But when he texts it breaks it up into 2-3 messages! It's crazy. The only other thing is he writes in capitals. That sort of is annoying and hard to read. I might talk to him about it and see what happens.

Well, I cleaned up my room a bit. I got all the trash out which made it so that I could push the bed all the way back - well as far back as I can get it. I folded up clean clothes and sorted dirty clothes. I need Jordan to start them. I also need to hang them up. I don't think I have enough hangers. But we will try.

Being too tired to write I basically vegged out to the TV. I watched "Criminal Minds" and "Chopped." They were episodes I'd never seen before. So that was cool. I'm now watching "Sweet Genius" which I really like. What sucks is that I'm going to be up for awhile as Jordan does the laundry. Ugh! And I need to make sure that I wake Jordan up around 5:30am. He's going to a ticket buy with Susan. She's then going to take him up to see Cy from TRACE and she might even wait for him and bring him home. Then Cassie is coming home in the morning and I'm taking her to school. Then picking her up and taking her to some party. What's cool too is that Susan and Cassie got me a cat mask! I'm pretty excited about it. I'll have a costume for Halloween!

Anyway, I guess that's it for now. I've been more calm today and tomorrow will be interesting. We'll see how things play out.

Wired!!

I have been so up today!! My mind has been going, going, going! I didn't fall asleep until around 5:30am I woke up at 6:20am and then got Cassie to school. I came home and went back to sleep. I finally woke up around 1:30pm. This seems to be getting to be a pattern and I'm not liking it! Especially since I have a date tomorrow at 10:30am at Taco Bell. I hope I don't have to go while exhausted!

Anyway, I went to pick Cassie up after getting my coffee. But I just couldn't concentrate on anything, but I wanted to talk or do something. It helped that Mark had texted me to see if I got texts. So once I got to Cassie's school I texted him. I also called Nicole but missed her. I called Sherry about the bathing suits, but got her husband John. I called and left a message for Patty. Texted Carlos about Ichigo and Sebastian. I haven't texted them in ages, but I asked about the kitties. He said he'd send me pix tomorrow. But I have just been so excited and wound up! I mean, between thinking of just how great it's going to be to lose weight and that the guy I met at Walmart is really into me - but it scares me a bit. I don't want him to be another Greg, though already he's not. He has a job and he's not addicted to pain pills that I know of. That's something I'm sure we'll talk about. What does worry me a little is he's coming on a bit strong. That might be something I'll talk to him about tomorrow. But so far I really do like him.

So Cassie gets out of school and she tells me she wants to stay and she'll walk home. Turns out she wanted to hang out with her new boyfriend Ben. My mom wasn't happy that she stayed with friends instead of being with me. Ugh! My mom is a pain in the ass. Cassie did eventually come home in plenty of time and decided to come to therapy with me.

Patty also  called back and her and I talked for awhile. It was great talking with her. She has been dealing with stuff but she plans on going back to one of her writing groups. She's had trouble concentrating too. Then she was also congradulating me about the gastric bypass and even said that when I lose weight I could ride in an airplane seat and that she'd get me a ticket or somehow we'd get a ticket. Anyway, it was good to hear from her.

Therapy was good. Cassie waited, did her homework and ended up reading her book. Apparently there were sex scenes in the book. LOL! Well, she would be reading that stuff sooner or later. It's just funny because we were talking about the ways things like that are described in books because she asked and I told her that a guy's part is commonly referred to as a shaft and sure enough in her book it said shaft! LOL! I thought that was so funny! But therapy was good. I'm a little more calm than I was so maybe the high I was one is slowling down. I hope maybe a little because I'm tired and would like to try to sleep tonight. But I got to talk to Dr. Tess and he said that I had lots of good things going on and feeling up was normal though maybe a bit higher. He also said if I fall down that just remember the good things going on. :-)

When we got home my mom had dinner kind of ready. She made quesadillas and ramen noodles with shrimp. It was pretty good. After dinner, I did most of the dishes, but my back started hurting. Jordan didn't eat with us. He'd eaten earlier I guess, because he got to go to "Haunted Trails" at Balboa Park with Alicia tonight. I don't know when they'll be back but sometime tonight. Jason texted me and told me that Alicia was resting in Jordan's arms. :-D How sweet!

Anyway, after dinner, I got back on the computer. I also called Nicole and we got to talk for awhile. I told her about Mark and how I am just so excited about the Gastric Bypass. My life is so going to change and it's dawning on me how much I'll actually be living life. I won't be waiting in the wings anymore! Jason even said when I lose weight he'll get my Sea World pass back because then I could really go and enjoy it! It's awesome! I know it's going to take time to lose the weight, but I hear it comes off pretty fast. I can hardly wait. I want to get through all these consultations and get the surgery over. I am scared about the surgery, but I guess it's well worth it!

Well, Mark finally gave me another email addy to use for him and sure enough it worked because for some reason his email doesn't like my email addy. Go figure. He's going to reply to it tomorrow morning. Basically it was just telling him about my bipolar and that I have two kids and all that fun stuff. Stuff I'm sure we'll talk about. Other than that, I have been working on my James Bond Fan Fiction. I'm on page 5, but I have a long way to go. I might write a little bit more tonight, but I am definitely getting tired. Of course, I have to be awake to let Jordan in when he finally gets home. I know he's having a great time! :-)

So other than write on my fan fiction I've been chilling out to "Mythbusters" and then I'll probably watch "Penn and Teller's Tell a Lie" then watch "Ghost Hunters" and maybe "Fact or Faked" if I stay up that late. Personally, I wouldn't mind going to sleep now if I could actually fall asleep. But that's highly unlikely.

I can say today has been another great day! We'll see how tomorrow goes!