Exhausted But Still Going

Well, today has been a pretty much uneventful day except for the fact that I have been very, very exhausted. I mean, I can hardly stand up straight. I feel like I have to lean over. I just don't have energy. And every little thing makes me feel even more exhausted.

I didn't sleep as late today as I normally do. I didn't really go into the other room. I just stayed in my room and did some reading. "Torment" is good, but I'm not reading it as fast. I guess it's hard for me because I can't buy the next book until next month. Ugh!! At least that's why I think I'm procrastinating. But I also feel something in my gut that is making me slow down. It's nothing to do with it being interesting because it's just as exciting. I don't know. But I'll have it read pretty soon, I'm sure. It is a good book. I can't wait to see what happens with Luce and Daniel.

My mom finally asked if I wanted dinner. I told Jordan dinner was ready. From there we had scrambled eggs, bacon, quesadillas and crepes. I was really full after eating, but I did the dishes that were there. Then I took a shower. I needed one badly. But with the full stomach and just being exhausted, taking the shower exhausted me more. But I was glad I'd taken the shower. My mom also told me some of the things we needed and she wrote out a list. Half an hour later I was ready to go. Well, as ready as I could be. I still couldn't stand up straight very well. But I managed to do it. We stopped at McDonald's on the way and got xtra large Dr. Pepper. Then went we got up there, I needed a cart immediately. Once inside Jordan and I did the shopping pretty quick. I got some extra stuff for Jordan and I. Not that I need it, mind you. In fact, I might be getting fatter because of the snacking. But I just can't help myself with Diana here. I heard her raise her voice earlier, but I didn't hear what it was about. Probably about me or Jordan. But I didn't hear, so I don't know.

Anyway, when we got home, I took the treats and he took in the rest of the groceries. I can't believe it's the 20th. I should have called Patty today - Today was Mason's Birthday. I forgot how old he was turning. He sounds so cute on the phone. :-) Today was also Denise's birthday. But oh well. I'm not feeling that whole desire to catch up with her like I was. Maybe I'm getting passed the nostalgia. 

Tonight since I've been back I have watched half of "Chopped," Ghost Hunters International," and "Legend Quest." "Legend Quest" was awesome. He might have found Excaliber!! I won't say it for sure, but it's cool! :-) If I can manage to stay awake for another hour, I am going to watch "Royal Pains." I haven't been following the show this season, but Boris' girl is having his son. Anyway, I just want to see it.

Tomorrow I should be getting my money from Jason and Susan - Food for cash AND the rest of the money they owe me. I am very happy with it. I might be able to get "Eureka" on DVD and even take Jordan to see "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2." I want to see it too. So maybe tomorrow . . .

Time to take my meds and maybe play on Cafemom some more.

Truly Sleeping Beauty

This will probably be one of my shortest entries ever. I literally spent almost all day sleeping. I stayed awake for a couple of hours today, but I was so tired I laid down and zonked out. I only woke up long enough for dinner and went to sleep again. I'm only awake now because I woke up in time to see most of "Royal Pains" and am going to finish "Fairly Legal". Hopefully I'll go back to sleep after that. But basically, I did no writing. No reading. Nothing of import. I was just freaken tired. Guess that's a good reason not to take so much stuff to help me sleep. I think I over did it and so the consequence was playing Sleeping Beauty today.

Well, tomorrow will be another day. An early day. Hopely my mind will feel fresh and alert unlike at the moment. LOL! Guess the only thing left is to take my night meds and go back to sleep. Just go easy on some of the meds.

Time to go back to playing Sleeping Beauty for now.

Contemplation of the Past and Future

Not sure what to say about today really. I woke up LATE again. My mother was supposed to wake me around noon if I wasn't awake. She didn't so I just kept sleeping and sleeping. I might as well have been Sleeping Beauty. It was 3:00pm before I finally opened my eyes and were able to keep them open. I did try to wake up earlier, but for whatever reason I just couldn't keep my eyes open. In fact, I did a lot of dreaming again. Maybe that had something to do with it. I haven't dreamed so much in a long time so guess that means my mind is working overtime.

Anyway, I just got online and played for awhile. In fact, I was just feeding my virtual pets in Happy Pets when my mother told me dinner was ready. She had ribs going tonight! MMMMM! They were rather yummy. Then I went back online. I added a couple of songs to my Project Playlist and then I decided to work on another idea for a story I had. This one is still formulating, but the first part to come to me is a cat that can change into a man. As cat he's a bit of a comforter for her and a bit of a protector where as the man falls in love with her. The other part of the story is a man killed her daughter - a man they knew and she testified against him sending him to jail. He escapes and comes after her. I have to have several ideas to drag this out, but I haven't formulated everything yet. I am already on page three. But I have to write a prologue. It's going to be like a newspaper article about the daughter's death and the man convicted of the crime. I did also find online a quick little article about telling versus showing in writing. I'm trying to take it to heart and try to do both. Though showing is MUCH better than telling, only I do a lot of telling in my writing. I'd like to ease up on that a bit and do more showing, now that I understand exactly what that means. I'm not ready for strangers to critique any of my work, but I'm open to learning better ways to work my craft.

You know, I have to be slightly obsessed with my Ex-Friend Denise. I do too many searches on her. The cool thing is that I learn about new sites by doing it. Like I wouldn't have found Spiritual Networks without her and I wouldn't have found Free Psychic Network and their Ask it. I asked a question and am interested in knowing what the answer will be. I hope I get an answer though Denise didn't get any. I have to say I do get nostalgic sometimes and think about writing her. Then reality sets in and I remember all the drama and the crap she put me and Nicole through, and she used her kids to create drama too. I NEVER want that in my life again. But keeping track of her gives me a certain amount of satisfaction. I'm a twisted individual and finding out when she's not doing well with her writing, I get this feeling of being justified. Especially after I found out she told John I had tried to steal her story ideas . . . yeah . . . They're not that good, honey! She was just pissed because I didn't want to write her story for her! But it wasn't mine to write. Plain and simple and she was so obsessive with it. Called me every day about that stupid story. Most of her ideas so childish . . . Well, let her think she's going to get anywhere. She won't unless she finds someone else to write for her. Either you have the skill or you don't. At least that's how I look at it. I won't say I'm the greatest writer because I'm not, but I love writing. I have a passion for it and my stories are pretty good. I've been told by teachers over the years and by other people. I know I'm good.

Anyway, I need to just relax and work on my own writing. I still haven't gone back to my first book and done the edits, but I'm getting closer to it. I know out of everything I've written it's the one thing I can get published. Even if it's just in a collection. Either way, to get published would be the pinnacle of my existence. Getting paid would be the wonderful icing on the cake. I just have to stop being afraid. After all the rejections I guess I got scared. Felt rejected. I need to get passed that, especially if I'm going to get anywhere with my writing. Guess I'll just have to set a date and say to myself "THAT is when I'm going to get to editing!" I'll look at the calendar and make up my mind. Then I'll stick to it! That's the important thing.

I did get a chance to watch "Royal Pains" and "Fairly Legal." Both shows were great! I even watched most of "White Collar" - another good show. But really, Jordan and I were waiting for my mother to go to sleep so we could slip out. We went to Walmart and got snacks - of course. I got chips, dip, cookies . . . More than I should have gotten. Jordan got twizzlers, airheads and pringles. Since being home I tried a little of everything of mine. The salsa cheese dip is so good, but wow the spice burned my mouth. I'm very sensitive. LOL! Anyway, now I am winding this up as I watch "House". Karissa is comfortably sleeping behind me cuddled in the blankets and I'm starting to yawn. I think I might go to sleep soon. My mom IS waking me up early tomorrow. Well . . . noon. Gotta sleep. Nite.