Day 43 - Itchy Scratchy AGAIN. :-(

Man, I was glad to get back to water aerobics today, though I was willing to bale out this morning. LOL! But the bad thing is, I'm so itchy now! REALLY itchy! It's awful! But on the other hand, I can't really do anything about it. I hate being allergic to the chlorine. It really does suck! Then I was tired and though I was tired when I got back it took me awhile to doze off. I got really cold too and burrowed under my blanket. I think I'll be doing that shortly again. I'm tired.

Anyway, I had to get up to pick up Cassie. It's nice to see how Cassie responds to my mother now. They get along great as long as Cassie isn't living here. LOL! It was raining while I waaited for Cassie to get out to school and I was busy reading "Beautiful Creatures." When we got back home, I told her where I was and she told me a bit more about the book and some about the next book in the series. That was nice. Then Cassie was hungry. My mom had split pea soup left and Cassie devoured it. She was still hungry though and asked my mom if she had stuff to make salad. My mom was thrilled to hear that and asked her to go out into the garage fridge to get lettuce and tomatoes. Cassie got the lettuce ready, not just for her salad, but for dinner. That was nice. My mom was happy about that. Cassie had to eat quickly so she would leave with Jason and Susan. Oh, and Daniel might be moving down to San Diego and living with Jason and Suan too. Though I don't know how that will really work out. The house is going to be too loaded with people and stuff for Jason. I'm expecting a lot more upheavel, but with luck everything will go smoothly. Cassie absolutely loves Daniel so she is thrilled by the prospect. :-) I hope it all works out well.

Dinner was great! My mom made stuffed mushrooms, baked potatoes and BBQ baked chicken. Delicious! I could have eaten two pieces of chicken, but I was good and only ate one. However, after dinner and after I watched "River Monsters," "Gator Boys" and "Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence," I needed Jordan to come to the pharmacy to pick up a couple Invega 3 mg. for me since the TAR hasn't gone through yet. I really need my pills, but at least I can get them as I need them. Anyway, Jordan asked to spot at McDonald's. He wanted a drink, but he was hungry again and so was I, but I didn't want to eat a burger. Still, I got him a McDouble and a drink and I was bad. I got myself a diet Dr. Pepper and an ice cream cone. at least the cone was small. I decided that it would be the last thing I ate tonight. Even though I'm a little hungry again. Something is wrong with me. I've been hungry a lot lately. I hate it. Then Jason and Susan want to take me to get weighed. I want to know, but I don't want to know and it's making me depressed. I don't want to find out that I'm not making progress. Which is a possibility. I think I'll feel sick if I haven't lost much.

Anyway, I took pix of Karissa tonight. I got her next to the book "Beautiful Creatures." I figured it was a good title to have next to her. She looked so cute. Then I posted a couple of things on her Facebook profile and page. I did go to Cafemom too, but I have to say I think I'm finally getting a little burned out. I'm trying not to, but it still happens that way, I guess. I posted on "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" but I didn't post anything for my Holiday group. I just didn't feel like it. I did ask for another siggy in the siggy group. I loved the last avitar. I want another avitar, but I can only request one more this month.

Well, I guess that's it. I am tired and I'm cold. Or at least my feet are! Karissa's sacked out too. I think it's time for bed.

Day 35 - Freezing All Day

I woke up early to a phone call from Cassie on my mom's phone. Apparently I'd slept through her call on mine. But she asks me if she can pierce her lip now that she's proved she's getting good grades. That was the requirement. But I figured we'd get it professionally done, but she wanted to do it herself. Her friend is letting her have one of her lip rings. I can kind of understand why she wanted to do it herself - basically you can control the pain if you do it. I think she was afraid that it would hurt too much if it was professionally done - like all at once. Anyway, I haven't heard from her about how it went, but I gave her my okay to do it. I look forward to seeing it.

After that, rather than go back to sleep, I had to get up. I drank my protein shake, took my vitamins and medication, got dressed and then took my mom to Costco. We had to wait for about 30 minutes for it to open. Then I helped my mom get some stuff. But by the time I was done, I had forgotten a couple of things, but I wasn't going to go after them. I was exhausted and FREEZING! I had to get someone to put the stuff in the car. When we got home, I got George to bring in the groceries - Jordan was sleeping. I went to my room and cuddled under the covered - after I did a little more reading on "Beautiful Creatures." George even gave me my computer back, but I was just so tired I couldn't use it. I just went to sleep, but it wasn't a deep sleep. I was too cold.

I got up long enough at one point to get my second shake. I stayed up after that. I got on the computer and also watched "Restaurant: Impossible" and a couple other things. Then I had dinner - chicken croissant sandwich (yes, I know I'm not supposed to eat bread, but it was a croissant!). I also has a salad and baked potato. I hope that was a decent dinner.

After that, I went back to my room and got back on the Computer. I played on Cafemom working on my groups, but not doing as much as I could. I joined another group. Checked out a couple more of my groups. Then I always was on Facebook. I finally warmed up though because my mom gave me her electric throw blanket. Made me really warm. It feels great! I also watched "Rachel and Guy's Celebrity Cook-Off," "Cupcake Wars" and "Finding Bigfoot." I think after this is over I'm going to see about going to sleep. I need to wake up tomorrow to make sure I go to water aerobics. I'm not looking forward to being cold again. Maybe I'll be able to cuddle under the throw again when I get home. That would be awesome!

Guess that's it. Tomorrow night is the preimere of "Being Human." I have that to look forward to. :-)

Day 28 - Exhausted

I don't even have a reason for being exhausted. I just am. I didn't sleep well last night. I ended up sleeping until 1:00pm. I didn't exercise today or anything. I have just been tired all day and it's frustrating!! In fact, my mom tried waking me up around 11:30am and I literally fell back asleep. After that she just let me sleep. You know, I just wish that with all these good changes I'm trying to make in my life, that it would help with sleep and it just hasn't.

I didn't do much today. My mom wanted to go to Albertson's so we went there. It was the last day to redeem some of these coupons she had. She got three pounds of Salmon fillets and we picked up 10 Lean Cusine dinners for $1.88 apiece. I also got a water and mousse tempations. My mom got  few other things too. 

When we got home, the boys brought in the groceries. I set to work with these game pieces and game board that came from Albertson's. It was a lot of work because there were TONS of pieces I had to go through. In the end, with the way I having to sit, my back is tweaked a bit. It's sore. That sucks.

My mom made dinner - spaghetti and meatballs. I had two meatballs and a little spaghetti. However, that just wasn't enough so I also had one of my greek yogurts. Then I grabbed protein water an hour or two after that. So far so good.

Then I played on the computer, mostly on Cafemom. I wasn't up to doing much else except update stuff. I have to focus on "Holiday Dreaming" tomorrow since I did "I'm Not Fat! I'm FLuffy!" I also watched "The Bourne Identity" and half of "The Bourne Ultimatim." Then "Cupcake Wars" which was about some scoccer cup. I can't remember the name, but I'm not into soccer so I just don't know what game cup it was. After that, I watched "Rachel and Guy's Celebrity Cook-off" and now "Finding Bigfoot."

I think after that I'm going to attempt to get some sleep. I just have a feeling tomorrow I'm going to feel like I'm moving through molasses again. Fun! Fun!

Day 21 - New Year's Day!

I didn't wake up early. In fact, my mom and Jordan woke me up with their fighting. Jordan cussed at her which wasn't right, but I was so tired, I just couldn't say anything. In fact, I don't remember what it was about or anything. I just couldn't stay awake after having trouble sleep last night because of restless legs. That sucked. I hate restless legs. Makes me get very frustrated and cry.

When I finally did wake up, I just kind of stayed in my room for awhile. I put on the TV - "River Monsters" and then a marathon of "Finding Bigfoot." I cleaned up my room a little bit too. Cleared off a lot of the bed off. There's stuff still on it, but not like it was. I got Jordan to do two more loads of laundry for me today. I picked up trash. I got all the yarn and my crochet project put in a bag. Not sure where to put it after that though, so that's still on the bed. I also have several hangers on the bed, but I also got clothes hung up. Jordan was kind enough to do that for me and to put the trash I had gathered into my trash bag. Eventually I went out to get a protein shake. Drank that down. Grabbed my vitamins. Went back to my room and took them and my morning meds.

Eventually, I got online and started playing on Cafemom. I didn't do anything with Holiday Dreaming, but I posted a few things on "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" I need to pick a new pic of Karissa for the group. Maybe I'll see if I can't get some hearts behind her or something for Valentine's Day which will be here before you know it too. I hope it doesn't take me that long to lose the 50 lbs. I'd like to get that surgery as soon as possible. But I don't think I'm losing weight that fast. I'm going to have to really cut down everything. I already do two meal replacements a day. Now I need to work on down-sizing my dinner and not eating much at night. Mostly I've been eating fruit. If I can stick with fruit at night I might be okay. 

And speaking of food, my mom made a fantastic steak dinner! I know I ate too much, but it was good. And it wasn't just steak. We had hashbrowns, corn and green beans. It was all good. Later I had a small piece of pumpkin pie. Man I want another piece. But I'll be good. However, I am kind of hungry again so I'll have to figure out something. My mom said there was an orange in the kitchen so I'll go look.

Anyway, I played on Facebook too and on Tumblr. I added pix and a recipe to Facebook. Exchanged messages with Nicole. I even did some working out on my arms with my new weights. I also watched "Cupcake Wars" and "Rachel and Guy's Celebrity Cook-off." Now I'm watching the season premiere of "Finding Bigfoot." After that, I'm hoping to go to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be an early day. Back to the pool . . .

Bumps on the Road

I think the depression is still with me. I don't feel as bad as I did, but I didn't want to wake up today and have been tired all day too. But the great thing about today was that Cassie and Katie Kelly came over!! :-) It worked out that Katie came with her because I really didn't feel like carving a pumpkin and usually I LOVE to do it. Another sign that my depression is still hanging around. But it was good to just be with Cassie too.

Cassie and Katie got the papers spread out over this tarp my mom gave them and then they set out carving. Cassie cut the top of her pumpkin first and remembered the chimney. She told me I'd trained her to do that. :-) Then Katie Kelly cut hers. Cassie spent a lot of time cleaning out her pumpkin and we talked about growing pumpkins. She also decided to do the cat sitting on a branch and started to poke out the design. Katie Kelly took longer to get her pumpkin cleaned out, but that was cool. She decided to do the dragon. I took pictures! :-D It worked out very well!

Then the girls wanted to go to the park so I said okay. They left. My mom took a nap. When she woke up she wanted to go to the 99 cent store, but Cassie and her friend weren't back from the park yet. She starts yelling at me about why did I let them go when I knew she wanted to go to the store! UGH!!! I was really short with her and told her they left BEFORE she said anything. But I called Cassie and had them come back.

That ended up being a bit of a fiasco because it caused an argument between my mom and I. Cassie wanted the computer, but Jordan was using it stay awake. She started bitching about him. My mom agrees with her and starts bitching about him and took over the bitching. Jordan hears and gets upset. It gets me upset and my mom and I end up yelling at each other. But I did take her to the store. She bitched and moaned about getting me some batteries and a chocolate rice putting which was a total of $4 plus tax on the batteries. But I stopped arguing with her.

By the time we got home, Cassie and Katie Kelly were gone. I texted her and told her I loved her and that I was glad she'd come over. I then went out to the front yard and watered. My mom started dinner for us - frozen dinners, salad, potato hash. But before they were done I went to my room and watched "Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence" Basically they took the episodes and added some comments here and there. It's cool. It's like "River Monsters: Unhooked." I also spent a little time working on my James Bond fan fiction. I am so tired though, I didn't push the writing like I did yesterday.

Dinner was good. Then I had that chocolate rice pudding. It was good. I liked it. But I think I prefer regular rice pudding.

Anyway, I went back to my room but then I left to go see Crazy Uncle Steve's house. I put the batteries in the boom box, but I'm not liking my boom box. It wouldn't stay on the channel unless I keep my finger on it. It shouldn't be like that. But I got to watch the two songs he has synched up to the lights. It was so cool! He puts so much work into the lights and it's great to be able to enjoy it. I'm going to go over there several times during Christmas.

When I got back I went back to watching "Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence," but I turned it when I saw the time because I wanted to watch "The Next Iron Chef: Super Chefs." I have been waiting two weeks for this at least. So needless to say that show took presidence over any other show. But now I'm watching the last half of "IRT - Deadliest Roads." Then I'm going to hope that the bigfoot special that was on at the same time as "The Next Iron Chef" is re-airing. I'll find out in about ten minutes!

Guess that's about it for my day. I am exhausted so I don't know if I'm actually going to watch the bigfoot show or not if it's on. I might just take my meds and go to sleep. But we'll see. It depends on how I feel.

I can't believe that Halloween is tomorrow! It's exciting! Cassie is going to the dance at school tomorrow with her boyfriend Ben. She's going to look so cute as a fox. I've seen her in the costume and she is cute in it. But what's cool too, is that Cassie might trick-or-treat around here!! I don't know why it's so exciting for me, but it is. :-D I hope tomorrow is a great day. I don't want anymore days where I feel exhausted like this.

Needed Retail Therapy

I'm so emotional right now. I feel like it's bad PMS or something, but I don't think that's it. Maybe it's because I took too much ativan last night and the fact that Cassie's coming home soon. That I don't know when Jason's going to go off on me again. I honestly don't think it's an if. I think it's a when. And it kills me because we're family. Then I also know my mom is going to flip out every time she goes over there. And I'm stuck in the middle. I am depressed and all I want to do is cry. I'm also tired. I slept late, but my mom woke me up and I was still very tired - too much ativan. Maybe it's worse because I'm still tired. All I know is that this sucks. I feel like there is a shit storm coming and I'm going to be in the fucking middle of it. I'm afraid of it literally destroying me. Plus, I just think of how I am failure as a parent. The kinds of things that have been said to me over the years by family mostly, but recently with Jason. He always says he's sorry, but I just don't know whether to believe the apologies. I'm more in the camp that the more pissed off you are, the more likely you are to tell the truth. Not that I would say that aloud. But I think it's the truth for most of us. Anyway, I just feel crushed at the moment. And I want a new start with Cassie. I want to try to be a good mom and I'm not sure she'll give me a chance. I feel like I've lost her when I haven't. I know I haven't, but it's just how I'm feeling. And here comes the tears. I never wanted Cassie in this position. I had not planned on Taking Cassie back from them for her sake. I just feel like because I'm worried about a place to live and keeping my medical that I'm a bad person. That I don't care about Cassie. Jason has said that to me numerous times so far. I just don't think I can handle hearing it again. 

Anyway, my mom woke me up because she had some bills she had to send off to pay. So I forced myself to perk up. I got dressed, got my coffee and then her and I went to the Post Office. After that she wanted to do some shopping at Albertson's. I stayed in the car reading "The Sheik and the Christmas Bride." Then she wanted to go to the 99 Cent store. Again I stayed in the car to read.

By the time I came home, I knew I was over emotional. I could feel it. I went to my room and watched some "Iron Chef America" though I didn't see who won. When my mom said dinner was ready. She made hamburgers. They were good! After eating I kind of laid down for awhile. But the "Restaurant: Impossible" that was one was one I'd seen. So I thought about getting some printer paper. Plus I would get me out of the house. I wanted Jordan to come with me, but he wouldn't. Turned out to be a good thing. I went to Walmart and went to the stationary where they keep the printer/copier paper. I grabbed a good one and I could have just left, but I decided not to. I looked at the pens and got myself some new ones. I believe I needed new ones - especially in other colors - purple and blue. I have plenty of pink. LOL! Then I went upstairs to look at the movies. I figured I could get away with a $10 movie. But nothing really stuck out to me. Then I went to the $5 bin and I found "Police Academy" and I did like that movie. Then I decided to look at the CDs. There was one I would have liked, but I wanted a different song that wasn't on the disk. But that put me over by the books so I thought I'd see if there was "Cowboys & Aliens" and sure enough they had it so I bought it. The only other thing I got was Reese's sticks.

I really am happy with my purchases. I think I made wise choices, though I probably shouldn't have spent the money. But you know, I feel a hell of a lot better than I did before I left. Sometimes retail therapy can help.

Anyway, I'm chilling out, watching "Finding Bigfoot" and will probably take my meds and try to sleep. That and take some advil for a headache that started while I was in line at Walmart. Might kind of be from my congestion and the stress I feel.

Well, that's it for now.

Day After the Beach

This is going to be kinda short I think. Yesterday was so much fun, but I'll tell you, it took a lot out of me. In fact, as much as we all tried to keep me from burning I still did anyway. It's been hurting me a bit. But I was also so tired. I finished reading "Fallen" which was great and I am glad I have "Torment." I started reading it today - at least the prologue. But what I did most of the day was sleep! I slept and slept until it was time for dinner around 6:30pm. I don't know if it's because I took a muscle relaxant or what, but I was exhausted. Even now, I'm getting close to wanting to sleep again. I feel it in my bones.

Dinner was good. My mom was nice enough to make dinner for Jordan and I. It was the left-over spaghetti from yesterday and yummy salad and then peas. It was good. Jordan and I stayed out there for awhile. He did a couple of things for my mom. He was supposed to do dishes, but he didn't. I can't really blame him because Diana was downstairs. We watched some of "Collateral Damage" but then it was time for "Leverage" and it was the first episode I have been able to watch. Then I was working on Cafemom and was half watching "Finding Bigfoot." They are wrapping up their short season, I guess. They will be back, but I guess they're done for now. I'll double check next week. Now I'm watching "The Glades." It's a good one then I'm going to sleep. My mom and Diana want to go to Costco tomorrow, so I have to make sure I get up relatively early. 

I guess that's really it. Most of today I was sleeping and I'm still tired. Go figure. But at least it wasn't a bad day. I do need medication either tomorrow or tonight. Depends on how I feel and how Jordan is. I am out of ativan, which isn't a good thing with Diana here. So we'll see what'll happens. Ativan take me away. LOL!

What a Sunday! LOL!

Well, I got up a little earlier than usual I guess. I woke up around 1:00pm. and I took my meds, got dressed and headed out the door to go to Jason and Susan's to spend time with Cassie and Paige. The girls and I spent time on the computer or reading or watching TV. Though most of it was us each doing our own thing. But I enjoy just being in their presence. Cassie was reaing one of her Warrior Cats books and I was reading more of "Ice Cold." 

For dinner we went to Alberston's. Paige got Oriental Noodle salad. Cassie got a sandwich, potato salad and chips. Then I got fried chicken. Mmmmmm! Then we each got a soda and I also got mini-cupcakes. 

Then went Jason and Susan came home, Cassie decided she wanted to come home with me. Jason, of course, didn't want her to. He'd like it if I never had time with her, though he says he wants her to have time with me other than a little time here and there. I guess I shouldn't say too much. But sometimes i feel like he thinks he's better than me.Of course, I might be projecting that with my low-self esteem.  Anyway, Cassie and Paige came home with me. I came in here and watched "Finding Bigfoot" and "The Glades" which I kind of half watched because I was working on "I'm Not Fat! I'm Fluffy!" I added a new Forum for music videos. The sad thing is, I don't know how to embed them into a post, so I use a pic and link it.

Anyway, I gave Jordan the last two pieces of my fried chicken and then I had him water the yards. Apparently Cassie did the said yard. That's one less thing I have to worry about. What I do get to worry about is the fact that my mom is coming home with Diana on the 13th. Ugh!

I am glad I got stuff done on my groups. I'll probably check it one more time before I had this over to the girls for the night. As for how I'm feeling kind of okay. I also kind of felt depressed. I'm still just tired all the time. I hope I sleep tonight. I should. I need to get up relatively early for the girls. Well, maybe. Anyway, I guess that's it for now. The girls are being silly and distracting! LOL! And I'm enjoying it!

 

I Can't Breathe Worth Crap, But Not a Bad Day!

I can't breathe worth crap. But today was a little better and more active than yesterday. I did sleep late - but I had to take a lot of meds to get me to sleep.Oh and "Inception" was FANTASTIC!! I loved it. I guess Jordan couldn't keep up with the different levels of the dreams. Guess my crazy mind has no trouble with concepts like that. LOL! Go figure. 

Anyway, I woke up to another great breakfast sandwich. Diana has been really nice to me so far so that's a good thing. If things keep going smoothly, I might clean up my room when they're gone. Or as clean as it can get. I need to turn the mattress around. 

After I ate I took my mom and Diana to Macy's. While they were there I went to the McDonald's in Walmart, got myself a soda and ice cream cone. Then I sat down and pulled out "State of Fear" and started reading. I had a good hour of reading which was great because I got through this really action packed, adrenaline pumping section. I know there's more to come, but WOW! Michael Crichton is AWESOME!

After that, I picked them up and went home. After that, I stuck around home for a bit. Played on Cafemom. I got a new member!! And that member posted too! I am so happy! That really makes me feel good, though I don't have anyone in "The Poetry Garden" yet. I put out an add for both groups and am hoping that I get more members. We'll see. I may have to bump it a couple of times. Then I added a few things to "I'm not Fat! I'm Fluffy" and headed out to Jason and Susan's for dinner. It was so good to hold Cass in my arms for a little bit. I got a bunch of hugs. She had her friend Laikara sleeping over and she wasn't afraid to hug her mom. I think that's special. I got several hugs through out the night. And dinner was fantastic - what I could taste of it. Damn nose. Ugh . . . Jason makes the best BBQ chicken and I couldn't enjoy it to the fullest. I did want dessert though, so on the way home I stopped and McDonald's for a regular Dr. Pepper, an ice cream cone AND an apple and a cherry pie. Pie ala mode.Yummy!

Now it's time for me to relax. I already watched "Finding Bigfoot," which was good. They were in Washington state and they did some calls and got some calls back. It's cool! Then I am watching "THe Glades." This was pretty intresting too. Callie's husband gets beat up by a couple of guys - it was a set up. Think he's trying to talk Callie into going into Witsec. Then the murder takes the case into the Nascar circuit with a dash of bank robbery. After this I'm watching the series finale of "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" and I'm going to try to stay up for "In Plain Sight."

Guess that's it.

Time To Say A Goodbye To Someone

Today I've felt a little better though I have been very tired. I woke up around 12:30pm and made myself stay up. But all I wanted was to go to sleep. Still, I managed to get Jordan to help me with laundry, which is awesome. I did my stretches again. Got it going again. Did GRAPES so I'm back on track. I'm not at my Happy Place, but I'm doing pretty well, I think. I had a strange dream though. I had a dream that involved a lot of animals. Like a bunch of colorful guyppies and then a colorful lizzard with a bad attitude and I had to catch it to move it from one container to another. It was hard and I was afraid it would bite me. But I managed to get it. There were other weird things too, but I don't remember them. I think I saw Denise in my dream though. I can't remember if we were friends or not though. Must not have been that important. LOL!

Anyway, getting laundry done was a good thing. I also watched "Brad Melzer's Decoded." They showed about three episodes - Cornerstone of the White House mystery. Another of Lewis' supposed suicide. And the what is it called the Georgia guide stones. It was all interesting, though I have seen it before. But I do love to watch certain shows over again. It's like "River Monsters." I could watch those episodes over and over again. Go figure. 

Finally Jordan went to bed and I finally got my computer so I hopped on Cafemom for awhile played on the forums. Anyway My mom made dinner earlier. She made cheeseburgers which were awesome. But all I've been doing is playing on Cafemom, loving up Karissa and downloading some of the pix off the camera. Then I also posted one pic of Karissa on Cat Lovers. I talked to Nicole and she hit a nerve with Greg because he had the nerve to contact me. Saying he chose Linda because he thought I didn't want him. I DON'T want him. But I finally let loose on how he blew me off for most of 9 years. That he was a liar. That he lied to me about Linda and He lied to Linda about me. That it also came down to sex for him and whatever. I was done and I told him not to contact me again. But he did. Wanted his keys back. I told him to come in the morning and Jordan would give him the key. But I had finally decided it was over. I have given him so much latitued. I forgave him so many times. I was done. I don't want it in my life anymore. He could have helped me get my brakes done like he promised, but nope. He disappeared for days - TWICE! I have let it go for long enough. Hope he's happy with Linda. 

Anyway, tonight I also watched "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" followed by "Finding Bigfoot" Followed by "The Glades" and if I can stay awake until 1:00am I'll watch "In Plain Sight" and I really want to see it. 

Well, I'm done for tonight. Wish me luck for staying up.

Minnows and Turtles and Cassie's - Oh My!

Today was pretty good. I do have to say that. However, I have spent so much money this last two days that I'm going to be lucky to get my brakes done. I hope Greg can do it cheap, cheap, cheap. Yeah, I'm talking to Greg again. I guess. He's going to fix the car and that's good. I think I do need to tell him that I don't want to be in the middle of his stuff. But it's not like he can control her and I haven't heard from her since that one time. Still, she has my number and I don't like it. But oh well.

I woke up at noon. Got up and dressed. Cassie called me and told me she was bringing me minnows and a turtle she found in the creek. :-P Told her I wasn't sure what we were going to do with the turtle. LOL! But it got me off my butt and cleaned out the fish tank. Turned out she only had two minnows to add. No big deal. The slider, however, is the size of my hand!! He's in Tubbie's tank at the moment and Tubbie is in what Cassie brought the slider in. We're called the turtle Waterclaw at the moment. Oh yeah, and she brought me a crawdad from the creek as well. :-P The creek was very full of critters today. 

We also went to Walmart and I spent way too much money. I got her some pamprin because it's that time of the month, poor thing. And though it wasn't much, she was passing clots and that is PAINFUL. I know. Happens to me every time! Then I also got some bread. Cat food. Turtle food, which the turtle doesn't get as good. So that was wasted money. Ugh! Then I got us that lunch at McDonald's - McChickens and drinks. Then I got her a father's card for Jason and one for Grandpa Roger and I got her a white and black print dress. It's cute! But she forgot to take him home and I have no idea where she put it in my room. I guess there are only so many places so I should be able to find it easy enough. 

After that, we came home and she played on the computer for a bit. She played music off her playlist and I found out that Aqua changed their name to Toy-Box. The weird thing is, I kind of remember reading something about it. And at least they changed their name to something that really fits them - in my opinion. I like some of Cassie's music like Three Day's Grace, Katy Perry and Owl City. Yeah, a little different. She's ecclectic like me! Though not quite as ecclectic! :-D We also looked at pix of cats that were on Petfinder.com. Even the mice and the hamsters. Eventually we left to go get dinner. We stopped at Kahoots on the way so I could get crickets for Tubbie and we got goldfish for Waterclaw, though we put two in with the minnows. I hope they don't eat them. After that we were going to get a pizza from Costco, but there was no parking so we went to Little Ceaser's. Of course, it wasn't as good as Costco pizza, but it worked. My mom couldn't stand it. And when Jordan woke up he ate the rest. 

I eventually took Cassie home to Jason and Susan's. We stoped at her friend Katie Kelly's because she needed to pick up the library books she'd let her friend borrow. Then I hung out at the apartment for about a half hour to hour. I could have stayed later, but Cassie was engrossed in reading FanFiction online. She's writing up her own story for Warrior Cats. I look forward to reading some of it when she's ready to share.

After that, I came home, played on Cafemom and watched TV. I wrote my GRAPES on my journal there (And my hand written copy). I wrote up a post in my own group "Moms Without Their Kids" about missing Cassie already. Then I also watched "Law and Order: Criminal Intent," "Finding Bigfoot," "The Glades" and I wanted to watch "In Plain Sight" but I need to try to get some sleep. I have to wake up early and go to Greg's so he can fix my breaks. Hope to God they're not that expensive because I am down to my last bit of money. If my mother knew she'd kill me. Thank God I'm getting money on the 9th. If my $50 check would just come in I would be find. Ugh! No check last month. It's got to come this month. I need it badly. To be honest, I'm stressing just a little bit. I don't know where all the money went! I guess it was easy to spend money on food and stuff. I so wish I hadn't of eaten out so much now. I bet at least $100 went to fastfood for dinners. 

Well, I suppose I should take my meds and try to get some sleep. Though if I'm stupid, which sometimes I am, I'll finish watching this "Criminal Minds" and then the "In Plain Sight." We'll see.

     

Happy Memorial Day!!

Well, I could have gotten up at 9:30am, but instead I went back to sleep for a couple hours more. Then Jordan woke me up. Not a big problem at all. I was looking forward to today! It was also a productive afternoon. I had Jordan start laundry for me. I cleaned out Karissa's litter box. I picked up some trash. I almost got coffee, but I decided against it. I just wanted water instead. I also played on Facebook for awhile and I typed up the rest of Chapter 3 for "Crossfire" which I'm really hapopy about. Four more chapters and I'll be all caught up! Then I can continue from there.

By the time it was almost 4:00pm, Jordan and I headed over to Jason and Susan's. When we got there Cassie was on the computer while Jason was cleaning things up. Jordan moved my chair so I could sit down comfortably and we all sat down and talked and listened to music. Jason got a little grumpy and I got a little worried, but he nodded off on the couch for a bit and I think it was just enough because he was actually pretty good the rest of the time. For awhile Cassie wouldn't let Jordan get on the computer because last time she was over he wouldn't let her get on the computer, but eventually she let him have it. 

When Susan got back they started the grill. She cut up watermelon which was soooooo good! I ate a lot of it. It was good to just hang out with them. I hadn't been over for dinner in awhile and I got a chance to see my Cassie. She is so beautiful. 

Once the chicken was done I could hardly wait to eat! We had Jason's BBQ, baked beans and corn on the cob. Susan also made some mac 'n cheese because she doesn't like beans. We also got soda. She poured it into water bottled which was a great idea. But you had to be careful opening them. The CO2 builds up and pops the cap off with a burst when you go to open it. That happed to Cassie and it hit her on her chin. :-P When I came home, I went to open it and the cap literally took off and hit the wall! LOL! But dinner was so good I went back for seconds - another piece of chicken, some mac 'n cheese and another ear of corn. I was definitely full after that. 

I also took photos of everyone there including the kitties. Susan took a pic of me with both Cassie and Jordan. I love it! Cassie had a pic with everyone except the cats. LOL! It was just wonderful and I have those pix to remember it!

Jordan and I stayed for a little longer, but Jason was ready for bed and Susan was getting tired. Plus, Jordan and I were ready to go. You just know when it's time. So I gathered up my stuff, hugged Cassie goodnight. Sometimes I still question my parenting and think about all the ways I screwed things up. But at least I know my kids love me and more important they know I love them. I try to only act in their best interests the only way I can.

Anyway, coming home I settled into watching the new "River Monsters" but Nicole called. Eddie told her that he wants to go live with his father. Emotionally it's a big blow. I know from personal experience, but like me she knows he'll get tired of it and want to come home. She also has issues with her Fiance's Ex-Wife. That woman still wants him in her life even though she's the one that wanted the divorce. Let go already! Ugh! So we talked for awhile. After that, I watched most of "Finding Bigfoot" and it's definitely a show I want to keep watching. I can't wait to find out when it's going to be airing on a regular basis. 

Well, I guess that's it for my Memorial Day tale! It's been a good one. I didn't get my exercising in, but that's okay. I'll pick it back up tomorrow. There has to be a skipped day once in awhile, especially when you're spending the day with friends!