Another Day Another Time For the Bitch!

I don't have much to say today. I slept almost the whole day. I wanted to. I have to wake up so early tomorrow it sucks. But I have to go to Welfare. I need to fill out the paperwork too. I just wish I didn't have to do it. Especially because I have hardly any fuel left and I just hate it. But we have to do what we have to do. 

My mom had a cow with the fact that I was sleeping so late and that Jordan did too. He slept longer than I did. I finally got up and watched some TV and got online. My mom or Diana had made dinner and I got Jordan up to eat and do dishes while Diana was on a walk. Of course, when she got home, she started yelling at mom. Whatever. It will come back to me sooner or later. As it is my mother has still been a bitch to me. She has been so verbally abusive. It's hard to be back in this position. It really is. I'm having heartburn every night. I am always anxious. I'm always tired. Emotionally this crap is just draining. And I can't say anything because I'm always wrong. Doesn't matter if I were right. I would be wrong no matter what. I fricken hate it. I just wish Diana would just go back to Dave or drop dead. I hate her. And now my mom says that they might not go to the family reunion! OMG!! Kill me now! I need a break from them! I need that week break!! Ugh! IF there really is a God, He will make them go to it and get them out of my life for a week so I don't flip out. I'll tell you, I don't know how much I can take if Diana is here. I have wanted to cut almost every day several times a day. What can I do? And if I leave they will do what they want with my room. I would be leaving Jordan alone here to fend for himself . . . I don't know. I don't know what to do. 

I'm going to hope that my food money is in tonight. I want to do some food shopping. Nothing major. Just want to get some snacks and stuff. My mom and Diana will have a cow, but you know, whatever. Then stop stressing me out! They have the attitude that I should do what they want if I want them to stop. Well, I want the same thing. I want them to stop before I give up my treats. Well, nothing is going to change though. I know it for a fact. That's how it goes here. My stress level isn't going to go down, so my stress eating isn't going to go down. I won't even try to stop it right now. I should, but I don't want to. I guess I just stuff with food. It will make me feel a little better at the moment. It may not later, but it will work for now.

Well, since I'm going to go out to Walmart in a bit and go shopping, I think I should get dressed. :-P I just hope my food money is in so I don't look like an idiot in line. I might have to take my heartburn medicine now. I hate that it's happening everynight. Anyway, I suppose that's it for now. I am hating life at the moment, but there's nothing I can do about it. So there you have it. Crap on crap. I just need to get dressed and finish watching "Haunted Collector" season finale. Almost can't wait to get to the store.

                  

Shit Happens . . . :-(

Well, today hasn't been so good. I didn't do the dishes last night so my mother was in a mood when I got up and it continued most of the day. It was nice waking up to Cassie in the room playing on the computer. I got up and we had tuna and onion sandwiches. They were delicious! Then her and I went and watched "The Fourth Kind" which is a very interesting and creepy movie. Especially when you see the actual footage. I wasn't scared like jumping out of my skin or anything, but it really makes me think of the face of a barn owl differently! Anyway, that was part of the day that was nice. After the movie my mom was having a fit because I hadn't gone to the store but just as I was getting ready to go I asked her if she just wanted me to wait until tomorrow. That's when she remembered I get the food money then so that attitude was put away. Cassie almost wanted to spend the night with me again, but she doesn't like to get to school early and I don't like the traffic closer to the time school starts, so we decided it was better she go back with Jason and Susan, but it was nice she considered it, you know?

Susan came and got Cassie, leaving Jason off. He and I hung out. Everything is fine now. They weren't gone too long. Poor Jason was so tired, he nodded off here. I just let him sleep. We were watching "Chopped" anyway. Not his kind of show. After they came and got him - to return later with their kitties because they are getting their apartment sprayed tomorrow - my mom gave me money so I could go to Wendy's and get us burgers and fries. I so wanted to get an ice cream, but I didn't. It all tasted good though.

Now onto the bad things of the day. When Susan and Cassie returned with the cats, they didn't wait for Jordan to get out there to help them and in the end Christopher and Lulubelle got out. They were able to catch Lulu, but not Christopher. The kids, Susan and I tried looking for him for an hour and just couldn't find him. We called for him. We checked under the cars. In the ivy hedge he went into. Literally, we poked, proded, moved branches to look into the hedge. But nothing. He's gone. My mother actually left food on the porch, but there's been no sign. I promised Cassie that I'll try to work on a flyer tomorrow and she wasn't to take them around, but I am thinking that we aren't going to find him. It sucks. I love Christopher. He was my boy. :-( Cassie left crying. I know that Susan was crying and I heard it in Jason's voice when he called me. It so sucks. I mean, what can I do? I want Christopher back too, but I don't know what to do now.

I ended up spending the rest of the night watching The Food Network  - "Food Network Challenge,""Chopped All-Stars," "Iron Chef America," and "Cupcake Wars". Some of it was because trying to waste time to make it to midnight. Jordan and I wanted to go to Walmart and do some junk food shopping. But get this - we have done this several times and the money always comes in by midnight of the day it's supposed to be in - so we go and pick out stuff. All kinds of junk we want. I mean, not tons, but enough junk to last a little bit. So when we get to the register I'm told that my card has been declined for insufficiant funds!! I run it twice. It happens again. Finally, they give me the little sheet of paper that tells me my balance was just 44 cents. That's what I had before! I was supposed to have like $400 for food! It was supposed to be in my account! SO needless to say I'm ticked. I try not to take it out on anyone around me, but what pisses me off, I'm trying to move the cart out of my way and the guy that is like a manager or whatever was like, "I'll take that." I replied with an attitude, "We'll I'm certainly not!" That ticked me off too.

Jordan and I ended up getting what little fuel I could from the measily $3 I had. It wasn't nearly enough to even get a single gallon. After than, we came home, had cereal and now it's like 2:00am and I have to be up at 6:30am. Sometimes life just sucks and shit happens. Guess this was just one of those days.