Sunshine On Me!

Well, I feel kind of tired today. I was up LATE last night. I was up to 1:00am or a little longer than that! Originally I stayed up last night because I thought I had to pick Cassi and her friends up from a concert at Soma. In fact, one of the moms gave me fuel money. I don't think the kids told her they got a ride home from someone else. But it must have been God because I was expecting $50 and it didn't show up this month. I didn't know how I was going to make it to December 1st with as little fuel I had left. But now, I have fuel and it will last me! God knew and He provided! Anyway, I was still awake when they came home. I just wanted to make sure they got home okay. Once they did, I stopped working on Facebook and FINALLY try to sleep.

When I did fall asleep I had different dreams. But the one that stands out the most for me is one where I was finding ants on me in bed and as I got up I saw rows of ants not just on the bed, but on the floor on the carpet. That freaked me out! LOL! I still have a HUGE paranoia of ants! It didn't help that I did find one crawling on me yesterday. But it was just one and there was no rows of ants! But I guess the paranoia stuck with me into dreamland. 

Yesterday was awesome! I woke up feeling great! I got things done! I also got almost every Facebook page updated. Some require more work than others. My holidays one takes the most! But I celebrate the seasons and traditional holidays. Of course, anything else I find I do add - like Friday the 13th is coming up next month and I have pix saved on my computer to post for fun! Right now though, I am celebrating autumn, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Soon it will be Christmas and New Years! I do a countdown too! It ends on January 1st. After that it will go to Valentine's Day, maybe President Birthdays and definitely St. Patty's Day! We'll go from there! One of my pages I'm actually an admin of, but everyone loves what I post! So I try to post as many good pix of what fits the page each day!

I also took care of the cats and the fish. I was going to do some reading, but it was really too late by the time I thought about it. That's where I do my reading! LOL! And I am into a great book by James Patterson, "I, Alex Cross" and it is so good! I get sucked into the Alex Cross books! So far, there is nothing better! I can't wait to read them all! Next month I would really like to get "Merry Christmas, Alex Cross." I figure it's fitting! :-D I also found out what kind of books Susan really likes so it's giving me more ideas! I guess my Christmas list isn't set it stone yet! Anything could change!

Today I woke up tired. I was up before 9:00am though I was up so late. I wanted to go back to sleep, but after getting a little put off by Jason raising his voice - not to me. He was just frustrated over something - and then Cassi needing things I just went ahead and got up. Goodness knows I needed coffee! LOL! OMG! White Chocolate Raspberry is one of the BEST creamers ever! I think I have a new fav and it kinda sucks because this one is one out at one time of year! Ah well . . . There's always Almond Joy!

I was a little stressed about Cassi today, but you know, she's going to be dating and she's on a date today - her and her new beau went to the movies! He took her to see "Catching Fire." I hope they enjoy it. It made me feel better that it's someone several of her friends know and are friends with. I hope she hangs onto this one for awhile - give her a taste of a real relationship, but she does go through boys like tissue paper. But it would be nice! 

Then Susan and I had a nice chat. We really don't talk that often like that even though we live in the same place, but we are usually doing other things and sometimes aren't that chatty. But today we had a nice talk! We talked about all kinds of stuff! Books, movies, stories and games and history . . . Awesome! It was nice! I don't often talk to people in RL anymore! I know, I'm weird. I chat on the phone a little, write letters a little and write emails a little. I don't do a lot of any of them. Guess I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts a lot of the times!

Another really good thing is I'm going to try to reserve enough fuel to go to Heartland once a week, if I can, to participate in a couple of their classes again. I want to go to Cognitive Therapy and maybe Coping Skills. It depends what class is before Cog therapy or after. But I think it would be a positive step for me to get me out of the house a bit and get back to taking care of me! So I'm hoping maybe Wednesday to go to Heartland. I think they're open until the day before Thanksgiving. I will call tomorrow morning and find out.

Oh and last night was great! Jordan got his favorite dinner by Susan for his Birthday - Chicken Parmesan. I have to say it was delicious! But I ate too much and was sick for a couple of hours. I was thinking about making myself throw up to relieve the pain. But I distracted myself with something - I think the internet. Then by the time I pulled away, I was better. I was finally able to take my meds and drink some water. Had I tried earlier I really would have thrown up! But it was great to have Jordan here and have dinner with him. Jason let him order a movie for his birthday so he rented "Inglorious Bastards." I hadn't actually seen the whole thing before - though I recently bought it for $5. It was good and a bit gory. Of course, it being a Quinten Terentino (sp?) movie  it's expected. Jason went into the back room and Susan put her ear buds in. Neither liked the movie for it's gore! LOL! Some of it was pretty brutal like the scalping scenes! But considering it was being done on the Nazis (in the movie) it seemed appropriate to me! LOL! Okay, maybe that's creepy! What can I say? They were BAD guys!

Well, I have had a ton of coffee today. I still feel exhausted, but I still need to work on the Facebook pages. I will get to them, though it will be a question of when, because I am thinking about taking a bath and doing some reading. I don't want to wait until it's too late. Hopefully I will sleep tonight! Anyway, I guess that's it for now!

Catch Ya Later!

Easy Peasy Breezy Day

Today was simple. I woke up at 10:00am. I had the place to myself for the day with Cassi at her boyfriend's and Jason and Susan at Sea World. I didn't really do a lot except for what I needed to get done. I worked on some letters. I got one finished and sent out with papers I were supposed to return (thought I HAD returned them - oops!).  was glad I got that done! That was important!  I also posted in some groups on FB and stuff. I also cleaned out the litter boxes, washed Karissa's dish, called my mom and whatnot! I also worked on the story. I have more of an idea about the bad guy. Not just his name and what he does for a living and how he talks and looks. There are others around too that might be looked at as suspects. It's good to feel as if that part of my brain is working again! For awhile there it was just gone! And now I am feeling so inspired and just want this to really flow. The more I delve into my characters the better the story will be! I just haven't been this inspired in a long time. Who knows? Maybe this will really be the start of something else that's great!

I haven't eaten much, which is a good thing. I think I had a sandwich toward noon, I was also drinking regular coffee. I had a bowl of cereal a couple hours later. I then had two piece of corn bread with butter and honey, some mac n'cheese for dinner and a nice hot fudge sundae to round things out. Jason and Susan had brought me that home when they went to get their own treats from Mickey D's. I wouldn't say it was much, but I would say pretty yummy! :-)

I am really happy that my day was easy, that I felt good and that I got stuff done! There were no down moments, which always makes for a good day!

This evening I helped my best friend start a blog, which was fun! I got to set it up and pic out the style of it and all that. She told me what she wanted and I did my best to accommodate. Of course, I did have an issue of writing in the wrong page domain name and I forgot how to get to that to edit it. It took me probably about 10-20 minutes. I didn't give up and so I found what I needed and made the correction! Yay! So she has one blog up at the moment. She has another she wants me to post, but it will probably have to be done tomorrow. It's getting late and I have to go to sleep at some point! LOL! I'd like to wake up around 9:00am tomorrow. I could even set my alarm, but I kind of let God decide when to wake me, unless I really need to be up in the morning for something. I haven't decided if the fish tanks need cleaning tomorrow. I might take care of it. I don't want to have to do it on my birthday, though it's really not that bad and it doesn't take that long. But who says you can't train fish. When they see me they dance for me! :-) And then they start looking up knowing I'm going to feed them! They are so cute! You can get close to fish just like a cat or dog. Well, not exactly, but close!

Okay, I did some reading, I did some writing and got some things done! Today was definitely another good day!

Now it's time to rest and hopefully sleep! ;-)

As The Sun Sets . . .

I am winding down for the night. It's been a good day! Got almost everything done on my list. Yay me!! :-) But I have to admit I am still tired. The 36 hours of being awake really did take a toll. I'm not a teenager or a twenty-something anymore. I mean, I woke up at 10:00am and was still exhausted, but I was ready to get up too. I don't like to sleep the days away anymore. More proof I'm doing better now than I was living at home with my mom. My mom and I get to talk everyday now and there's no real tension. I love that part of it! Plus I just feel secure where I am. I'm with people that love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. There is no serious complaining. In fact, it rarely happens at all! No one expects perfect. No one has a fit if the house doesn't look like a museum. It really is the place I belong for now! 

I worked on my list of things to get done. Cleaned the litter boxes, feed the fish, wash out Karissa's food bowl, wash dishes, take shower - I definitely needed one! LOL! Plus posting in groups on Facebook and pages and blogs. Also worked on letters to my prisoners and soldier. 

I also made dinner tonight. I knew Jason and Susan were both going to be tired. Jason wasn't sure he would like the BBQ turkey sandwiches - my version of sloppy joes. I don't like the taste of them. I just cooked ground turkey with some garlic powder, pepper and salt, drained it and added BBQ sauce. I think I would pick a different BBQ sauce next time though. I want to get Sweet Baby Ray's maybe! Also instead of serving it on bread, I'd like to have hamburger buns or rolls next time. I also made mac n cheese along with steamed broccoli - by special request! Turns out that it was a hit, though I was worried it wouldn't be. But it was after all! In fact, Susan took the last of mine that I couldn't eat! Yay! That's the one thing that's a good thing. I can't eat too much! :-) It's a very good thing!

Outside of that, I worked on my story more. Not really in the writing of it. I am working on Emily Sinclair's bio. I need to know her before I can write her well. Same goes for the other main characters. But it's all coming together! Once that's done it's back to the real writing! But I really like how my mind keeps working with it! It's awesome!!

Anyway, I don't know what else I'm going to do tonight. I have been trying to watch "Tanked" but I can't seem to concentrate on it. Guess my mind is still working on the story! LOL! That's not a bad thing. But I think I'm going to sleep pretty well tonight too. I just hope that tomorrow I don't wake up so tired. It helps not to stay up for 36 hours straight! In fact, I might take my night meds now and go to sleep. That might be the brightest idea of the evening so far! LOL!

Now, what to do for tomorrow . . . ;-)

Sometimes Getting Out of the House is a GOOD Thing!

I'm feeling better. I'm glad I'm feeling better. I was pretty tear-eyes for awhile, but I went to the grocery store and I picked up small crickets for Tubby our Fire Belly Toad - he was very hungry. When I got home, Karissa was there to meet me with her meowing as she followed me to the door and into the house. After putting stuff away I came into my room, Karissa picked her spot on the bed and went to sleep and I checked Facebook and browsed some blogs. I suppose I just need that space; the time to get my mind off of my pain. It's still there but I don't necessarily think I should consider myself a failure. IF I were truly a failure as a parent I wouldn't care so much. I wouldn't be trying to do what's best for my Cassie. I would wash my hands and just let her go without a second thought OR force her to stay here in this House of Doom.

Anyway, I'm thinking that getting out for the little time I did and having the pets to come back to has helped a great deal. Who knows, maybe I'll even work more on my story tonight. Things are starting to look up again, though I'm sure I'll have more times of doubt, depression and pain. But for now I need to appreciate this time I have that's free from those thoughts and feelings. It's going to take time, but I think I'll be okay.