This Depression is Really Getting Old

This depression is really getting old. I have trouble getting to sleep but then when I do I don't want to wake up. I just don't want to get up. I know I should start forcing myself to wake up and do stuff or at least just wake up, but it's hard to do. Then I woke up this afternoon shaking. In fact, I'm still shaking now. It's not as bad, but it's still there. I wonder if it's the vicodin I took last night to help me sleep. It didn't work either and I'm out of ativan again. The anxiety is still bad. To make matters worse CVS has been calling the wrong number. I gave them the right number yesterday, but I still don't have my ativan. If I don't get it tomorrow I'm going to go nuts.

Today has been somewhat productive. My mom gave me money to get Jordan a couple pair of jeans. We went to Good Will in Santee and found two pairs. I also found The Chronicles of Riddick book. It was only 75 cents and it looks like it's never been read. I also saw they had some good CDs and DVDs. It might be worth me checking out in a couple of months for anything good. With what was left of the money Jordan and I got MacDonald's. I also stopped at the Hostess store. It was probably the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't help it. LOL! I wanted to see if they still had Fruitcake and I was rewarded for it! They had a bunch still so I grabbed a couple. Then after going home my mom gave me money to get dinner at Wendy's. As for being productive Jordan has also been helping me with laundry. Tomorrow he'll help me finish the rest and help me with my room so that way I can get to the closet. Maybe once the room looks better I'll start feeling a little better. That and probably a shower would help. I'm going to take a shower tomorrow. It's way over-due.

I did have a nice escape tonight though. Syfy has been running Star Trek: The Next Generation and two Star Trek movies - The Voyage Home and The Undiscovered Country. I forgot how much I loved these movies because it's been so long since I've seen them. Anyway, the movies are farther up my want list again. Eventually I'll get them. After all, I got all four Indiana Jones movies. It will just take time and opportunity . . . and money, of course.

I just hope I sleep tonight and that tomorrow I feel better. I suppose I just need to believe it for it to happen. Think I'll finish losing myself in The Undiscovered Country for now.