The day started off rough. Cassie had trouble sleeping last night. It didn't help that her father decided to be an ass. He got his panties in a twist because Cassie has her friends listed as brothers and sisters on her Facebook. She got mad at him the other night for it and he apologized and then last night he tried to get Jason to push her to take them off as siblings! Cassie was up and hit the roof. I noticed that John didn't bother contacting me because he knew I'd tell him he was wrong and that he was being an ass. When we were married he tried to get me to dump my friends and I flat out told him that I would kick him to the curb before I would give up my friends for him. My friends have always been my family. Cassie told him that he hadn't been there for her and he had the nerve to say that I hadn't wanted him to see her! He could have seen her if he wanted to get his ass down here to visit. THen he also had the nerve to try to tell her that he was just looking out for her because you don't know who predators are online. She knows the kids on her list or they are friends of friends. And he's one to talk. He couldn't protect her from the child molester in his own house because he didn't believe her when she finally told.
Okay, I wasn't so upset last night about it but I am now I guess. Especially him trying to put me in the seat of me keeping him away from her. Ugh! He's really not worth my aggravation though. Honestly. He buries himself with everyone so is it even a surprise that he buried himself with his daughter - again?
Then this morning Cassie was upset with me because I don't let her sleep until 7am. She told me "Susie lets me sleep until 7! I want to live there, but NO!!!" I have to say that hurt me a lot. I could tell her she can't go to Jason and Susan's, but it would just backfire and draw us apart. Plus, I want her to be happy. Anyway, she got over it and went to school. I did shopping for my mom and then went back to sleep. I slept and slept. Jason came over about 2pm and that FINALLY woke me up. We hung out until Susan came back with Cassie from school. Then I took my mom to get her tabs and meds - I also went to vons for her. I grabbed lamb, but I guess I didn't get what she wanted. They didn't have what she wanted. After that, we came home for a bit and then I took off to therapy. On the way I stopped at MacDonald's to get a drink and fruit pies. Can't beat that 2 for a buck.
It was a good thing I had therapy though. I needed to talk about John and my writing and just all the things worrying me. My depression. How tired I am all the time. I can't seem to write anymore. I haven't even cleaned up my room, taken a shower or done laundry. But he thinks I should just take things slow. See if maybe I can start dealing with my writing little by little. I don't know. I get so much anxiety . . . In fact, my anxiety started coming back today. I am out of ativan again. The pharmacy idiots were calling the WRONG number for me to get a refill . . . I've also been getting aggavated very easily today. I just wish I could go back to when my writing came easily to me. Where I had no problems coming up with the next story. I want to feel better and I don't. Depression sucks, but it is what it is. Guess I can only take things one day at a time.
But the day has ended on a good note. Jason and Susan invited me over for dinner - Jason's BBQ chicken! I sat with Jason and watched the Aztec Basketball game. It was pretty cool. Dinner was yummy and I got a lot of hugs from Cassie and I needed those very badly. So all in all I'm feeling a little better than how the day started. That's always a good thing. Maybe tomorrow something good will happen too. One can hope.
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