Friday, January 20, 2012

Day 40 - Emotional Me

For most of the day I've actually been feeling okay. In fact, I felt pretty good. But as the night has worn on my mood has shifted to something darker. It's like an under current of anxiety. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm tired. I hate being tired all the time. And I am. But today was good. That's what I don't get.

I woke up Cassie to get her to school, but she was so tired from being upset last night that I let her sleep another hour. Then I took her to school. I also got myself a protein shake for breakfast. After that, I went back to sleep and slept until about 1:00pm. I could have slept later if I'd let myself. But I got up, got my protein shake for lunch and waited to get the computer from Jordan. 

Karissa went outside and then came back in 5 minutes later. LOL! She did that twice. The second time she stayed out a bit longer but not by much. I did take a few pix of her inside and I tried to get a pic of her outside but that didn't work out so well. She wouldn't sit still!

Anyway, I got my money from Jason and Susan. They owe me another $20 and I'll get that Tuesday. I think I'm going to use that for either getting "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" or get "Vanish" by Tess Gerritsen. Later they brought Cassie over so that she could make her bed. What sucked was that she had a dental appointment for today only to find out that she can't see the dentist until April. So it was a waste of time and of gas for Jason and Susan. Oh, good news, seems they might be keeping Rena after all. I hope so. But poor Susan and Jason. They had so much running around to do. Jason estimates that they drove 80 miles today.

Once I had the computer back from Jordan, and did a couple of things, but I knew I had to get the money order for my car insurance. I also needed to get milk and bread. I didn't get cereal though. Turns out we're out. Jordan just lives off it, it seems. While I went to Albertson's I was starving too. Not a good combo. I grabbed a vitamin water and started looking at different snacks. EVERYTHING was so outrageous when it came to calories. Twinkies were like 300 calories! Needless to say I did NOT get Twinkies. Eventually I found Special K Fruit Crisps. They are 100 calorie packs! As I got the milk and bread I also grabbed a Woman's World before I checked out. Once out in the car I had to eat something so I tried the blueberry fruit crisps and they were pretty good. It kept me filled until dinner. In fact, I'm only now starting to get hungry again. I'll have a snack then go to sleep.

My mom gave me some of her salmon tonight for dinner with tilapia. It was good. Of course, I love salmon. After that, I got back online. I posted in Cafemom in "Holiday Dreaming" and of course, "I'm not fat! I'm Fluffy!" I was going to post elsewhere, but I was pretty drained after doing everything I needed to do. I also posted pix of Karissa on Facebook on her account and page. Through doing all of that, I also watched "River Monsters," "Chuck," which probably caused my anxiety to go up a little. Then I watched "Brad Meltzer's Decoded," where they were researching the Alaska Devil's triangle. It was pretty creepy. After that was "Merlin." That one made me very sad. Not just because Uther died, but because of how he died. As I finish this I'm watching "Being Human." It was this past Monday's premiere. It was good. Sally goes to her High School Reunion, though it makes her sad at the end when the most shallow girl at the school who just died gets her door. Aiden ends up being placed as Second in Command of Boston and he's supposed to ensure that Mother's daughter succeeds in bringing Boston under control. Only Mother wants Josh dead. And Nora . . . well, Josh isn't the only one who is wolfing out this time. I think she saves Josh's life. Good episode.

Anyway, I think I'm done. I want to sleep. Definitely take some ativan.
  

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