I've been so good for so long that this is a set back for me. Plus, I'm tired. Of course, I started my period, but even that's strange. I'm just staining. The last few days I have just been too tired to even write here. I am trying my best to stay on track, but this has made me kind of see things negatively. Like I don't know if I'm really losing weight because I haven't been weighed. But then I'm afraid to get weighed to find out I haven't been losing which is crazy. I have to be losing weight. Of course, I'm not going to the gym for a few days because of my period. Plus, part of me just doesn't want to go. Maybe the rashes are just getting to me too. I want to lose the weight and I'm doing what I can, but I just feel like it's all for naught. It's probably just the depression talking. And it didn't help that Jason flipped out about Romeo going after Rena and scaring her. I tried to reason with him, but that was a no go. He tells Cassie she needs to decide who she wants to keep. I didn't think it was necessary. Cassie got upset and did a lot of crying. She said she only feels safe when she's with me. Not the house, of course, but with me. I don't yell at her. I don't constantly judge her. I don't flip out constantly. I think she's to the point (at least today) of wanting to come back home. Then Jason was mad at me because Cassie read what he was texting me over my shoulder. I mean, come on, he said he was going to tell her himself and then he gets made at me. What a wimp. He just wanted to vent to me and then not deal with Cassie. I half expected him to tell me to tell her anyway, but then again, it could be my hormones whacking out and making me read things that aren't there.
I went to therapy and I talked about the depression that was setting in and about the whole fiasco with Jason. I think what ticked me off the most is the fact that I know a lot about animals. It's instinctive. I grew up with animals. Anyway, I had tossed out a couple ideas to help them out and he just shot them down. So did Susan and it's sad because it would have worked. I don't think this is over yet. There might be more issues with Rena and Romeo, but I guess all we can do is see what happens.
When Cassie and I got home from therapy we had to grab frozen dinners because my mom thought we were going over to Jason and Susan's for dinner. She didn't realize I'd gone to therapy. No big deal. I had Cassie grab us frozen Lean Cusine's. Cassie got a Baja Quesadilla which ended up not very good. I had a Thai inspired chicken which was awesome! Unfortunately I have heartburn now, but it was worth it. I'll just have to make sure I take the medication BEFORE I have that.
I have barely gotten online at all. I just haven't wanted to and I've just been so tired all the time. But I did check into Cafemom and on the group "Just Siggies" I got my first siggy!! It's awesome! It has tigers and a very sexy brunette. Works for me! And I'm excited about it so that was nice. I made sure I thanked her. Then I just posted in two of my groups that I was sorry for my absense that I would be back either tomorrow or Friday.
It was also nice to have Cassie with me, but I wish she hadn't been so upset. I got her to bed and I stayed out with her until she fell asleep. It's so freakin cold!! And colder out there. I also watched or half-watched "Ghost Hunters" and then the new "Face/Off." It was good, but as soon as I'm done here, I'm going to set my alarm and go to sleep under the covers.
Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.
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