Actually for the most part the day part was fine and the negative part of it was actually kind of a small part.
I woke up with Cassie coming over for the shot record for the school to prove that she had her Tdap or whatever that shot was. She had it, now she's shown it to them so they ought to re-enroll her for next year. But I didn't get the shot record back. I need to talk to Cassie about it because I forgot to ask her today after school.
Anyway, I got up, got coffee, got dressed. In time I left for class. They weren't as useful as usual, but there was some good stuff. And we laughed a lot. Plus it's always good to see Kimberly. Ooops, I was supposed to call her tonight . . . Well, I'll see her tomorrow. It was good to get out of the house for class though. I always enjoy myself. And I also finally called Greg, told him I'd blocked him on Facebook and didn't want him to contact me again. Gee, I heard from him after that! He was in the hospital. Apparently there were no phones! Yeah, right. Whatever. I'm done with him. I have had other people confirm to me that he's just not worth my time anymore. And I know that he couldn't have been at the hospital all that time. He was back with Linda. Not that it mattered to me. But don't freakin' lie to me! He blew me off because of her after he told me he'd take care of my brakes on a certain day at a certain time. I am just done.
When I got back, my mom needed to go to the bank. My mom and I first ate a sandwich each for lunch and then we went to the bank and then I took her to Albertson's to get stamps. She also picked up some lettuce. Then after that, I got a chance to rest a little and check in on Cafemom before I had to leave and pick Cassie up from school. It was good to see her. Jason and Susan went up to their sons' graduation - Chris and Nick. Cassie couldn't go because of school - plus Susan's mom wouldn't want her there. Ugh . . . a story in itself that I have probably written about before. That woman is an old, bitter, unforgiving bitch. But enough of that! I picked up Cassie and we went back home. I played on the computer for awhile why she went through the pix on my camera. Then I let her on. She put on her playlist which I like a good portion of the music. Just not so into the rap. :-P At around 5:00pm we went out and had dinner. I made small salads for us and heated up my dad's chili. My mom made it, though I think she does something different because hers is more soupy than his was. After that, I let her back on the computer and I laid down a bit. I am so tired, even now. But I didn't sleep. I also got to check on Cafemom on and off.
Eventually, we headed over to Jason and Susan's. I stopped at McDonald's for drinks on our way. Then there, I was trying to watch "Haunted Collector" and the cable box froze twice!
But here's what got to me. They got home close to 10:00pm and Cassie was still awake. They were surprised but didn't say too much except that Cassie was going to be grouchy in the morning. But I don't think she would have slept anyway with me there. But I had this feeling like when I left they were going to talk behind my back about the fact that I wasn't a good mom. Don't get me wrong, logically I know that's probably not happening. I think it's a paranoid thought. But it's hard to deal with those thoughts though. I feel like I have failed. There are so many things I would change if I could, but you can't go back in time. I can only go forward and I know I didn't screw up everything. I am not a total failure. I might not be the best parent in the world, but my kids know I love them. Plus, I realized that I was really placing my own paranoia onto Jason and Susan. That I was mind reading and jumping to conclusions - both thought disorders. And I just tried to rephrase for myself.
Anyway, I wrote a bit about how I was feeling on my group on Cafemom. I think that helped me feel better too. Some place to vent and get support. Now I'm watching the re-run of "Haunted Collector" and hopefully going to finish what I missed earlier. It really is an interesting show. The first half was about this woman's home. She'd lost her mother 6 years ago and the mother's spirit was attached to a music box. They got an EVP with the mother saying "Purple Flowers" which made the daughter cry. But she let him take the music box to see if it would help. The second half is about this man's house. His 11 year old son is being scared to death at night every night. I haven't finished watching it yet, but so far so good. But I am so tired, so I'm going to hopefully sleep as soon as this is over.
At least I didn't fall into the pit. I could have too. So I must be doing something right!
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