Feeling Kinda Alone

My mood has been a bit dicey today, but as it turns out, I started my period today!! Oh how wonderful that is! NOT! But I suppose at least I'll stop wondering what happened to it. And it will be done and over.

I have been missing Jordan today. It sucks to be without both of my kids. I really feel completely alone and I haven't felt this in a very long time and with my stupid sister Diana coming out I'm going to feel even more alone. And my anxiety will go up. It would be worse with Jordan here while she's here. They hate each other and she will yell at him to his face - even though it means standing on her tip toes. And he'll just tell her to fuck off. But feeling alone makes me feel vulnerable. I hate it, hate it, hate it!!

Anyway, I took my mom to get her hair cut and while she did that, I went to Walmart. I picked up a few things and then went to McDonald's where I grabbed a McDouble and a Diet Dr. Pepper. This one old woman tried to take my table, so I said we'd share. When I came back and sat down, she got mad at me!! But she moved to another table. I was commended on how I dealt with her. Apparently other people didn't think she was all there. They were probably right because she seemed that way to me too. 

Then just as I'm about ready to start reading my mom shows up! I'm glad she didn't notice some of the stuff I bought. After that we went to the 99 cent store. We got lemons and onions and mushrooms. Also got some zucchini which my mom cooked up as part of dinner. We also had chicken. I could have eaten a lot more zucchini. Maybe later. My mom and I had to take in the trash cans too, which usually is Jordan's job.

After that, I got online and have been playing on Cafemom since. I managed to find two of my old groups so I joined, went into my old accounts and put my new account as co-owners. I also managed to put stuff up and create new forums. I guess I just needed more to do since sometimes the groups get a bit quiet and sometimes there's just nothing for me to say. 

Anyway, I took my night meds so I guess I should be trying to go to sleep. I miss my kids and it sucks.