I am on the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend and to be honest, if I had a car, we might have broken up awhile ago. Maybe that means I'm using him, but it seems the only way he feels appreciated for anything is through sex and since I share a room with my daughter and am not inclined to go hop into the back of the minivan like an over hormoned teenager he's acting like an ass. Actually, I think this is really because I didn't invite him over Saturday night when Cassie was spending the night with friends. You know, he upset me the night before and then that day he flaked out on taking me, Cassie, Jordan and some of his friends to Jordan's birthday party at Jason and Susan's. God knows I couldn't have it here. Between my mother and Diana they would have ruined it. But Susan . . . sweetheart that she is, did two trips to get us all there. Then Greg Texts me with his usual, "I'm sorry. I fell asleep." Okay fine . . . but this induces me to WANT to invite him over for sex? He almost ruined my son's 17th birthday party and he wants sex?? OMG! Anyway, so that was really what started this, though it's been brewing for awhile. He basically was complaining about driving me around. Everytime telling me about how it was his last tank of gas and once it was out . . . But he always managed to have enough. Plus, between Jason and I, we had given him $140 for fuel for the month! I mean, maybe that wasn't enough with everywhere I had to go this month, but jeez!! Then not showing up at least three times??? How does that work out?
Anyway, he wants to be just kissy friends, which really would have been cool with me, except the fact that he doesn't fit into my friend category. My friends are there for me. They don't leave me high and dry. In fact, instead of having to worry about getting Cassie and I to therapy Jason and Susan said they would make sure I get there, at least this week. We'll see what we can do after that. But I am just done. I am done wondering if he's actually going to show up when he says. I am tired of the bullshit about the fuel when I actually paid him for it this month. I am tired of the unknown and the bullshit about how he can't go without sex for so long. Maybe he can't, but you know, it's not like we live together and I'm denying him. I share a bed with my daughter in my mother's house! He doesn't get it. He never will. And I'm am tired of it. And to be honest, as good as he is in bed, I don't need it. I don't need it from any man. I can do fine on my own.
So now, outside of Jason and my son, I basically hate men, I think. I know for a fact I will NEVER have another relationship again. I think I am happier and better off on my own. All I need is a car and I will be good to go. Jason and Susan are going to help me try to find one by some miracle that I can afford. It might mean no Christmas for my kids, but a car will take precidence. They're not happy, but they understand. I will be so depressed though . . . It'd going to hit me hard . . . No presents for them at all . . . except what Jason and Susan can give them and gifts from Susan's mom. I am just done with men . . . They are only good for sex maybe . . . and you know, I don't even need that anymore. I just want Greg to be gone. He will probably crying and boo-hoo and threaten to kill himself, but you know what? I want him gone! I don't need the extra stress. I will end up with a heart attack, a stroke, and ucler or back in the looney bin with him in my life.
So the only thing have to say to him is good-bye!
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