Well, I was kind of hoping that December was going to be a bit of a turn-around month. I think for me I might be okay - I hope. But now it seems that Jason and Susan are in a tight jam which upsets me for them. They are the best people in the world. They do so much for the kids and I . . . and now Jason lost his job. It was a stupid mistake that he made, but it was enough to get him fired. Just weeks before Christmas . . . Nice . . . I am hoping he can get another PBX operator position quickly. He's good at what he does and he was told they would give him a good reference. But as much as they've helped me, all I can think is, "This is how the universe repays them for all the good they do?" I don't know . . . Now it seems they're going to struggle with Christmas. Maybe I can help them a little . . . to make all of our Christmases better. Greg is apparently going to give me my $100 back and IF I get my usual $50 from Child Support that will be $150 more that I didn't have before. Maybe I can help with a tree if they can't get one. Or at least help with something . . . maybe our Christmas Eve. We'll work soemthing out. I know we will. And the kids will be understanding after all they've done for us. I just know how hard it's going to be for them. They have worked so hard to get where they were . . . But as Patty B. pointed out, maybe the universe has something better instore for them. I really, really hope so! They deserve all good things . . . I just wish I were in a better position. Maybe I will be. WIth their help - because they got me Writers Market 2009 - maybe I will be. Maybe the universe will grant me one wish and that I'll get my book published . . . I have to. It won't solve all problems, but it'll be a start for me and it will get me a little money and that maybe I can help them and help myself too. I just wish I could do so much more . . .
Anyway, I was planning what I was going to do for Christmas and when I got Greg's email about sending a $100 check to me . . . I thought . . . well, if I get it before Christmas it's all the more money I can use to get gifts and stuff. Of course, that depends if I get it before Christmas. I hope so . . . because now I really need it . . . to help Jason and Susan.
I guess I just have to pray for a miracle . . . and I am not much on praying to God. It's hard for me to believe to be honest. Not sure what I believe, but I think we all need a miracle for this season and this season is supposed to be the season of miracles, right?
Well, I have to pull myself together . . . Make plans . . . do what I can . . . This WILL be a good Christmas somehow! Jason will get a new job . . . I'll start sending out my book . . . Susan will get that promotion . . . It will be okay . . . It has to be.
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