It's Been a Long Month

I hardly know what to write to be honest. It's been a long month. Not so much because I have had nothing to do or had too much to do. It's been long because I've been in a funk for a good part of this month. I called it a case of the Blahs. All kinds of depression symptoms without being depressed . . . until the last few days. Then all the evil depressive and anxious thoughts came. I hate it!! Of course, I don't know anyone who loves it! LOL! I just feel frustrated. It has interferred with my ability to concentrate and basically my ability to write. I haven't wanted to do ANYTHING even be online for any length of time. Of course, throw in the heat factor and I haven't been able to be out here for long, period. I have also been tired all the time. Just feeling rundown. No interest in doing anything, but not wanting to sit and be a vegetable. It's not been a good time. And adding to all this is the heat factor. We've had temps as high as 106 degrees! I do bad when it hits the 90s! I feel like I'm dying when it hits the 100s!! After all, I'm part polar bear.

But not everything had been bad! My actually birthday was kind of nice. I was able to go out and get a cake. My mother cooked me steak. Greg brought me lunch, gave me ten bucks, two lotto tickets (that I have yet to see if they're winners!) and two cards. I got to spend a little time on the computer and I think I even worked a little on my book. Unfortunately, it just didn't last. But we'll see how today is! After all, it might be a better day!

Something really sweet did happen this month. My son proposed to his long time girlfriend. They still have a LONG way to go before they can get married. Jordan needs to pull his life together, get his GED and get a good job. But just the fact that he did - at the beach too! How romantic! And of course, she said yes! In fact, she has everything planned out for the wedding down to the last detail which I think is so cute! I'm even going to give him my wedding rings to give to her, though we have to find a men's match somewhere (when it's time). It makes me feel special to know that the rings are going down to the next generation and hopefully will be part of their lives forever. I also look forward to when Alicia is my daughter-in-law and I become a grandma! Maybe some women don't, but I sure do! But I'm not going to be one of those mothers that push for a grandchild either. When it happens it happens because even when you try it can take a very long time. I know because it took me five years to get pregnant with my Cassie!

Anyway, not sure what else to blab about. LOL! I am getting ready to go to a BBQ at Jason and Susan's. That should be a fun time! I love going over there for BBQs. It's a nice respite from the house and I get to spend time with friends. Plus, the kids have things to do there too. Jordan gets to play is World of Warcraft and Cassie gets to go play with Katie. I also get to spend time with the kitties! I love that!

Well, guess another update will happen later, but so far, my biggest wish is that these blahs and depression go away soon. I want my life back.