And apparently they're right. It seems that bad things happen in clusters . . . all at once, to make sure you don't have a chance to breath and deal with the issues one at a time. No, that would be too convenient and helpful. Instead it had to be all at once and cause people to feel almost like they're having a mental breakdown (I know that feel from personal experience!). I just don't understand why it all has to happen at once. Everyone loves to say how strong I am because of what I've gone through and survived, which isn't even as bad as many, many stories I've heard, but I'm NOT that strong! The day kinda started a little crappy. I woke up exhausted. I'm exhausted even now because of it. Last night I just couldn't sleep even though I was tired. I'm hoping tonight that I will finally be able to sleep again for a night before I go through a couple more days of this. So not a great start to the day. THEN, I realize that my son missed his TRACE appointment so I had him call and we're going to try to reschedule for Thursday. One can only hope because he needs this program and Sy is a good guy. Then I have been listening to the kids bicker all day! In general it's kind of a regular thing. They're siblings and 6 years apart and seem to revel in annoying the crap out of each other and ME! Ugh . . .
On the positive side, I was able to clean around my computer desk, my mother was actually nice and fixed me French Toast. I probably wouldn't have eaten otherwise. Today is just one of those days where I just don't feel like doing anything for me. I guess it means depression has been setting in all day. I even got in a shower which was nice because there are days where I just don't or can't.
But then, I was supposed to go over to Jason and Susan's. We still are, but originally, he was going to get us a cab. Anyway, things changed and now they are going to have to put one of the cats down tonight. We're still going over for a BBQ but it's also so we can say good-bye to Troy. He is a HUGE cat and it looks like they over feed him, but they don't. He hardly eats . . . so it was some kind of genetic problem. Plus we think he has asthma because he has a horrible breathy cough and he's been having this weird shake to his head and his eyes have been very dialated. He just doesn't seem like he feels good . . . He wasn't the brightest cat in the world. He never did seem to figure out how to use the litterbox, though his sister never had a problem. Still, he is the biggest, sweetest lover of a cat. He was a great brother to his sister. A great uncle to the kittens. He was like a surrogate daddy.
It makes it hard on me too because I had Troy and Katianna's mother and grandmother, so they ARE my family too. Not that they wouldn't be. But in a way I'm just as connected as Jason and Susan. But at least my daughter was able to make me laugh. They need to borrow our carrier for Troy and it's not the biggest carrier. So my daughter starts smiling saying, "I don't know if he will fit." Then my son chimed in saying, "Well even if we get him in, we won't be able to get him out unless we take the carrier apart." I don't know why, but it made me smile and laugh. Maybe just the thought of Troy's big butt inside this carrier . . . I don't know, but I definitely needed it. As it is, I'm still in tears. I have had to put down several cats in my time and it's never easy. It always hurts because they're family.
On top of that, they're going to have to get rid of the other cats and I am very devistated over that as well because I can't even take any of them and I want my Anna. But my mother won't let me keep her. I hate living here with this woman . . . I'm lucky to have my Karissa. Plus, they're going to have to switch apartments for awhile so that their old apartment can be cleaned, and new carpets put in and the walls painted . . . and they're going to have to pay for it since it's pet damage. It will keep them from going on their cruise to Hawaii in December . . .
It just all feels like so much and it sucks. But I guess that's the nature of life . . . Ups, Downs, Round and Rounds . . . And rain . . . lots and lots of rain . . .
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